Today's been such a weird mixture of shitty n great. I think i juz saw the 2nd hottest guy of my life. He was bandanged, n wearg a red jersey. Vik, i think. Soopa tall. Mebbe potential j1. Letz pray 4 him. Haha. Righthandside luks so adorable in tt! Hez eternally adorable larh. Oh n letz all together pray for my mortal to stay! Well bak to cip.

Hailah OM, even d smallest encounter kan freeze me liddat. N bfg iz an excellent indicator! D lunch was great, had lotsa fun. Forgot lotsa stuff. Met ili's mom at bishan tadi. Haha. N i lyke my buddy's pres, hope he/she lykes it too. Gonna slp now, tata! =D

Waitg for extra chem to start. This whole friend revolutn iz throwg me off. N to think it all stems mostly frm batu. But i dun lyke to ponder y they acherli lyke her, cos i think itz completely useless. I'm so sleepy. Ran 2 rounds n did lotsa leg presses. Ow. Isn't it cute tt our class iz being fitness freaks? Haha. Ok. I juz want to say again tt OM rox. N happy anniversary to ili n fidodido!

Yeah! Tilan was in d train again today! He has such cute funny big eyes. I feel so damn disoriented. Everything's diff today. Aiya i thot results anxiety ended for me laz yr.. I guess i was wrong. Still rem laz yr.. I miss bishan lotz.

D int was how freakin empty. Not tt late wat! I think tt was d best drama prac ever. Haha. I went off all happy n bouncy n stuff. Oh new developmt. Fariq was TOLD tt an rj gerl lykes him. So. Yah. Well wat else iz new.. Need to give rajiv a name. N filza n i were talkg abt our gullibility to solid's persuasive powers. Haha. Think abt it.

Hey babes. In bk now, n guess wat? Power 98 played 'here without u', 'frm F, going out to my loved one, norain, n all hu noe me.' I heard tt. I swear! Neway chem sucked, will fail horribly. Ooh n guess wat? Dis morng at bv i stood up n fariq n i looked at each other, n we SMILED! Who else tak caya? -raises hand- Cuden stop smilg aft tt.. =D

wow now tt i'm using wap, i won't be blogging in big chunks! another plus for wapblogger. neway, i really dunno wat to say. ohyah. skl is a drag, innit? i'm juz dying now. i never used to hate skl. ok, mebbe sumtimes, but that was like, once or twice a year, not once or twice a day! so. yah. i dunno. arh whateverlah. tmr's a 2-hr bio break, will do more studying then. tonite will be my tv nite. ok acherli the only tv thing abt it iz charmed, but i hardly watch tv these days so itz counted.
wat do i get for my buddy? since itz a sexless person at the moment.. hmmm.. well i'll sleep on it.
i was washing my face, and i remembered this song.
smile though your heart is aching, smile, even though itz breaking. when there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by, if you smile through your fear and sorrow. smile, and maybe tomorrow you'll see the sun come shining thru for you. light up yur face with gladness, hide every trace of sadness, altho a tear may be ever so near.. thatz the time you muz keep on trying. smile, what's the use of crying? you'll find that life is still worthwhile if you'll juz smile..
well, nat king cole, i dunno. i smile and smile and laugh and laugh. so loud, others laugh too. but life still doesn't seem so worthwhile. and i always thought of crying as a way to let go of the tension inside. i dunno. maybe i'll try that smile thing again. or maybe it only works for you.

Yargh. I'm totally abusg this thing! Kan't wait to get home, itz been a long n pissy day. Haha. I think i'm on my way to bcomg a cradle-snatcher! Itz almost skary. Aah my new fav song iz playg. Ohyah im a team leader! Wah responsibility! Oklah bak to stong. =S

In bk now. I still have alkenes, half of alcohols, halogenoarenes n carbonyl left. Sigh. Library was full of ppl mugging chem juz now. I feel intimidated. We saw red kembar juz now! Hehe. Cute. Itz another of those rotten days. But i feel abit better now. Kan't wait to get home. Oh class 95 iz now my new fav statn. Haha. The songs r nice, lively or jiwang. Not horrible ear-killg rock. Tmr i'm ponning econs lec. I'll come here n do maths n econs tys. Well, wish me luck for chem tmr! Oops gtg. Bye.

My eyes kan't open! Itz been a shitty day thus far. Thank god for ili. Shez so cute! Oops bell.. Cya.

Went home w the night tarianers. In train now. We haf 2 new nicknames, pedas n mdp.. Haha. Pedas really lives up to his name. But dun worry, i dun like him. Pedas totally warned me outright against nasi. Sigh. Now i feel guilty for likg nasi. Well, let us then change no 1 to my mortal! Ok reachg pasir ris. Bye!

In ? gallery durg math lec. Bell juz rang. Will go bak in now. Thanx, wap-enabled fone!

i'm sorry i'm sorry.. why am i still blogging here when i haf lots to do? i dunnooooooo!!! i juz am! i kan't stop! there was smthg i wanted to say, but i forgot already. anyway i juz diden wanna tear myself away from the comp for sum reason.. so i like, explored all my folders and stuff.. and there was one particular folder tt really made me laugh.. it was all the minis.. the mini-mc, the mini-menu, the mini-nutritionlabel, etc.. i was totally dying at the double mini white slips..! but i think the funniest was definitely the mini-article, with the headline screaming "TWICE THE JOY FOR NATIONAL PLAYER". haha. i was juz laughing infront of the comp lyke nobody's business.. i mean, itz not even a year after all these crap, and i'm already laughing abt it.. it kinda shows how stupid and silly i really am, and i know it, but i juz kan't seem to change!!!
ohyah. had 2-in-a-row dreams about OM. on friday nite i dreamt tt OM was passing by and my mom caught me staring at him, and correctly concluded tt i liked him, and told me to go after him/tell him. on saturday night i dreamt that ili n i were walking to the surau, and 2 people were already there. juz those 2 ppl ah. and i froze in my steps, cos those 2 ppl were like, OM and BFG. they were basically praying at the surau. like, waddehell? firstly, tt isn't my first surau dream. secondly, neither OM nor BFG is muslim. juz a couple of objections to my dreams, ttz all.
juz now the cute acs boy was sitting at the next table.. his voice is so.. cute! and he's really funny.. i wanted to like, laugh at sum of his comments, but i kinda had to shut up cos i was, well, alone. and no one likes a crazy laughing freak. "you chief muggeress ah!" hehe. i wasn't aware tt "mugger" was a male noun.
goodnight. for the last time tonite, i hope.

why is it i can't feel the pain?
are we meant to share it?
if i told you it didn't hurt, would you hate me for it?
if i told you i could still smile easily, would you hate me for it?
how is it i knew, but it didn't affect me?
why am i not scared?
why am i not sad?
why am i not shaken?
is that what i should be feeling?
can i still laugh?
cos i already have.
can i still think happy thoughts?
cos i can't stop them coming.
will you forgive me this ignorance?
or will you hate me for it?
and if you could just tell me it's okay not to feel.

FIRDAUS: Laila.. Kau percaya tak dalam cinta pandang pertama?
LAILA: (thinks for awhile then meets his eyes) Ya.. Cinta yang mengharungi segala rintangan..
FIRDAUS: Cinta yang tidak mengambil kira darjat, umur dan bangsa..
LAILA: Cinta yang ikhlas dan sejati..
FIRDAUS: Bukan mudah ditemui--
LAILA: --tapi hanya hati yang mengetahui..

harloez. arman was sitting right infront of me in the train juz now! woohoo! [ok ttz cos i was the one who sat infront of him. but still. he almost never enters tt carriage.] and sya sez he's "universally cute", meaning i won't have any argument as to whether hez cute or not. woohoo!
oh and i was bored tadi, so i checked out the Rafflesians Alumni Hari Raya Gathering 2003 cd.. and guess whose photo is featured inside?!?!?!? guess!!!!!!!! itz............................ ME!!!!! haha. aaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnndddddd... righthandside! and he looks extremely good-looking in it.. hez smiling, but somehow, he looks mature and not kiddy.. wow. really lawar. ask me for it online anytime.

heyheyheyheyhey!!!!!!!!!!!! i am acherli exuberant! on a sunday night! hahahahahaha. i wanted to blog yest, but i think i was too spent.
ANYWAY. hehehehe. sorry. itz been a pretty great weekend, i think. i got to wake up soopa late on saturday.. went to fun-o-rama.. i dun think it was as fun as the last one. but i got to fulfil both my reasons for going.
reason #1: to finish the coupons. we got a 15-dollar girl-power wood thingy, 2 root beers, a chocolate waffle, 2 gerberas and we had one buck left which we juz donated. haha.
reason #2: to check out the crowd, esp the viks. woohoo! erm letz see.. first up was like, my MORTAL!!! wheehoo!!! he was at the root beer stall infront of us.. and he kept turning to look at us, then finally he asked if we were from rj. wowz. he rems our faces?!?!?! excellent! then i think i started wondering where nasi was, and whether he left already, then he suddenly popped up! he was with 2 gerls, and he looked kinda out of place at times [cos we were like tailing him for abt 10 minutes. haha.].. well saw him 3 more times after tt.. lovely.. thenn.. oh saw khairul.. haha.. and.. ooh i saw anushka, and aizat, and suff, and aidil, and whoever elses ah.. and at the dunking place there was this helluva handsome vik.. he was wearing a red acjc tshirt and laughing alot.. with the customary earring, of cos.. haha. tall.. not tt dark.. veh veh handsome! i was dying. we saw a righthandside-cute kinda guy. hehe. nice.. and there was this annoyingly un-cute and heeuugge vik on the dunking platform.. i kan't really forget his face in a hurry, so i juz had to mention him. ohyah and we met yazid and aisyah as we were walking out.. i was like, "heyheyhey!" to yazid, then i saw aisyah, and i was like "heyheyhey!" to her.. haha. and thennnn... we juz walked out the gate ah, and i juz looked casually across the road, and i spotted this vik, and i saw tt he was with another guy, and tt they were both wearing jj uniform.. so i was thinking, "hey jj!" and the other guy kinda looked familiar, so i sed to sya, "sya, am i dreaming or is tt fariq?" and sya looked where i was looking and sed, "no, i dun think you're dreaming, ain.." and i juz died. and we kinda hovered around tt spot until they crossed the road.. and i juz couldn't stop staring at him!!! and it was only after he passed us that he started grinning and then he told the vik smthg and the vik turned to look at us too.
so yes tt was the best part of my saturday in a nutshell. TODAY i went to do hw at woodlands library with fana. we were juz hanging out at the children's floor, hoping we'd meet ppl we know.. [oh btw fana gave me the greatest present of my life too! woohoo!] neway.. we met decaf and caf there.. haha. so funny. they were juz touring the library.. out of boredom or smthg, i suppose. decaf looked extremely good, judging by the amount of fana's drool. they made one round of the children's floor, so they passed us, and i waved at caf, and asked, "what are yu doing here?" twice.. and decaf [!] answered, "studying.." and i was juz like "!!!" decaf knows me? how nice! haha.. yeah, duh he knows me, prolly as the-girl-who-likes-OM. anyway yeah they were acherli studying at the cafe downstairs. how nice.. they were the last people i expected to see there..
ohyah and today i found out tt OM lives in a condo in boon lay. wow. i am so gonna make jurong point my new hangout. haha. information courtesy of aidil, btw..
okay i think this entry has become too long. byez.

oohyah!!!!!!!!! forgot to comment on rajiv! okay.. he's fair. he's average height. he's handsome! hez extremely cool! hez such an amazingly nice guy!
ttz in chronological order of my thots as he walked into the hall with hana. the thing tt really hit me was that he acherli repeated our names!!!!!!!!!!!!!! warhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! ttz like so nice! you go, hana! i'm with yu all the way!

ohmigod! itz fate! it has to be! i mean, i almost skipped that train to wait for righthandside. i almost walked to the front end, juz out of habit, but i happened to be talking to qt. and somehow 4 adjacent seats decided to vacate themselves rite there in the green section. and i juz happened to look to my left and see his incredibly pleasant-looking face. we almost diden go to mac's. and lotsa almosts, and couldhaves.. but in the end, the little movements of the universe conspired to let me see fariq again tonite. okay not tonight. laz night ah. haha. watever. i almost died when i saw him. i think i gasped and stared, and ohmigodded. and that made him turn n look at me.. so i [really obviously] shifted my attn elsewhere. and he was juz being so cute! he kept on smiling to himself. den the corner seat was vacated so he like, hopped sideways and settled there.. and then he went to sleep and terlajaked bedok. he woke up, his eyes went *boing* and he slapped his forehead and smiled to himself summore. i felt horrible. like i was responsible for him terlajaking, cos i was supposed to wake him up rite. oh shit n i juz realised! there were no more trains out from pasir ris at tt time! he prolly had to cab home! shit, now i really feel horrible. sorry fariq, i think i was juz too paralysed by the fact tt i was seeing you in the train AGAIN at like 1130pm. so yah. i will apologise when fana finally introduces us, as she has promised to.
righthandside is sooooooooooooooo hebat! as in, how can one person look both mature AND childishly adorable? well righthandside has it down to a tee. and sya figured out the mystery. when he doesn't smile, he looks extremely mature. when he smiles, he looks like a kid! a 12 yr old, at most! his eyes crinkle up and his white rabbit teeth terkeluar and his face lights up somehow and it juz looks SO. CUTE.
nasi was there too. with lauk and.. and.. air too. air is basically the other guy who doesn't haf a name. nasi is still hot!
no sign of OM. hah gi mampoz dgn kau. tadi aku kena terserempak dua kali sey.. same location summore.. trapped summore. sheesh.
pe was extremely diff today. i dun seem to be recovering from my flu [in fact, i kan feel my throat acting up again now. muz be the 3 hr long aircon tadie.], so i was in the weights room doing assisted pull ups and leg presses. and then righthandside's crew walked past and made comments. hehe. best actor is so cute.
oh speaking of best actor, i think jireh rocks! hez so damn funny! i wanted to juz die there, he was juz hilarious. and my fav filler item was the genre change thingies.. the action thriller was the funniest sia! i was seriously roaring with laffter there.. so totally unlike laz yrz non-entertainment. and as for the plays themselves, i guess i'm really not one for complicated storylines. deep deep stuff juz isn't my thing. so for me, life is but a dream was really a nightmare i was dying to get out of. itz like, i dun see the real purpose, ttz all. as in, there wasn't really any impact for me. med's one seemed kwite characteristic of med, i guess. i liked it, cos there were basically like 2 scene changes, which really helped keep our attn.. i think itz really smart to use the shrink as the central focus.. makes the whole thing easier to tell.. i'm really sorry i missed arts.. heard the laffter frm outside.. ohwell. too bad. cps' one.. haiya y does it hafta be abt pw? i thot pw left me a long time ago, and i was happy thinking that.. i think the king is cool tho.. haha. i dun think batu is cool. oh i think theresa was cool.. hehe. altho i agree with her tt the character was totally un-her.
have i covered everything? i'm really sleepy. ohyah. my heart was broken like pagipagi buter.. when i saw arman hanging out at pasir ris mert steps with the stupid tk gerls. *tinkletinkletinkle* oh those r the pieces of my broken heart, falling to the tiled floor of my room. *clickclickclick* oh thatz the abovementioned pieces piecing themselves back after seeing fariq! at close to midnite! how cinderella-like! woohoo! fariq roqs! hahah. shit tt looks ugly. fariq rox!
ooh guess what. i got home at like 1220 midnite juz now. itz like 135am now. anyway, basically, i got home after my sister! wowee! on a friday nite! milestone in both our lives man! take note of the date: 21 feb 2004--ain gets home hours after ida has fallen asleep..
God i'm crapping. nites!

heyya. i'm not fully recovered yet, i do hope that udu doesn't make me run 20 rounds or smthg. i juz realised i haven't had udu pe for more than one week. sure die sia.
dunno why but i thot today was gonna be a shitty day. but i still got to see arman, and the jj guy.. and i even found out the jj guy's name! itz fariq. heheh. it was written on his file. ms. sharp-eyes here caught it, of cos. haha. OM was on the bus this morning, and ili, upon realising that he was the one i like, started giggling. i suppose she doesn't approve. haha. and i lied through my teeth to thea when i sed i was juz liking nasi from afar. i was also busy watching burger interact with kambing. hahaha. hey, that looks funny! burger kambing! haha. anyway, yah. dun worry ppl, like i sed, itz a strictly NON-LOVE attraction. ooh speaking of love, tmr rajiv is coming rite? i'm so excited and happy for hana. hehehe. i hope he drops by rj too..
saw lotsa lotsa nasi today. i was listening to oh my darling in the library, and about to leave, when he came in. [with lauk and the other guy, no less.] so of cos i stayed rooted to my seat and refused to move until he left, which was like 15 mins later or so. hez so... takder kerja, literally! he was just lying there listening to his mp3 player.. with his back facing me [so i cld look at him without interruption].. i dunno what he was doing there also. but i'm glad he was. then later we were going out of skl and i saw him again! woohoo! hot hot hot! the thing is, i see alot more of lauk than him. sheesh. yuck. and amir is so damn obvious lar. juz now munz and i were slacking in class after econs to wait for a kembar, but unfortunately the rest of his class came already, so we had to leave. then when we were walking out we saw him, and amir was like shouting, "ain!" and pointing to him. was tt a suspicious look i caught on lauk's face? shit! and to make matters worse, i left my impostor waterbottle in klass lar! stupid shit. itz like every wed, i'll inevitably leave smthg in class--sweater, waterbottle, or both. 3 weeks in a row already. i wonder whatz the problem. i guess i'm juz too eager to go home.
oooh! and i was juz walking to my block juz now, and i heard skateboard sounds, so i was like, "ooh, skaters!" and turned to look. well, it was singular--skateR. and he was chinese, so i was like, "haiyaa.." then i saw his tshirt and i was like woohoo! cos hez like, the permanent boyfriend i've been seeing since i was in sec 3 or 4! and i somehow stopped seeing him around, but now i'm seeing him ard again! and he'z a skater, ttz like how cool! think it'll go amiss if i start studying at the tables kat bawah block again? but itz like, one metre away from where he skates. i guess it'll look weird. darn!
my hot pink hairband broke!!! how tragic sia! i'm really sad! now i haf to go to montip and get another one! for the time being, i'm gonna use this glittery transparent pink one i juz got at bishan juz now. but the glitter kind of comes off on my neck. haha. itz okay, i suppose it'll look alluring to nasi and others. wahahah. oh God i'm crapping. bye.
and no, i won't be doing any homework today.
Tiada ku sangka bola-bola api
Yang sedulunya kecil telah menjadi besar
Begitulah jua harapan padamu
Yang sedulunya kecil telah menjadi besar

Biar saja aku jadi penggantinya di sisimu
Kau yang cantik, sopan santunmu paling comel di hatiku

Ku tahu kau diluka oleh teman lama

Oh pertama kali aku mengenalmu
Kau selalu tersenyum, tersenyum padaku
Dan seperti jua bola-bola api
Makin semarak cinta, cintaku padamu

Boleh saja kau jadilah penggantinya di sisiku
Kau yang baik, sopan santunmu paling comel di hatiku

this morning arman acherli sat in my carriage! so lawarrr.. he was like smiling to himself, like a secret smile.. so kiut! i was positively melting there. and filza diden come to the locker in time this morning, so i was juz inspired to bite the bullet and juz give the pres to burger b4/after assembly. well i was lucky, it seemed, cos he was standing detached from the rest, juz watching their conversation, and they weren't paying any attn to him. so i just went up and sed smthg like, "yo, this is from me and baba.." and hulurkaned the present. and he stared at me and sed, "oh.. thanks.." and i sed bye and left in a hurry. haha. itz okay, he woke up from his daze after assembly and came round to thank me. so yes, if yu're reading this, baba, he seems extremely grateful n surprised for the pressie.
saw much less of nasi today than i wld haf wanted to. haha. i unknowingly injured poor amir when i punched his leg when nasi strolled past chem tutorial. well. he was looking hot as usual. whatz a girl to do?
does it sound like i had a great day? well acherli no. it got progressively worse. i'd say the highest point was arman, then it all went slowly downhill frm there. anyway. yah. i was struck with flu germs during gp. horrible sia. i think i'm gonna skip hw tonite so i kan eat ubat n go to sleep.
ohyah. the script sounds extremely off. but ttz juz cos of the difference in language lar.

If it were only possible for me to catch this wind
that blows my hair every which way
that carries these sheets of paper for miles about
that masquerades as a breeze
that dissipates the heat
breaks the day's monotony
I would.
If I could just catch this wind
Put it in a box, a locket, a baby's sock
Take it out whenever I wanted
Let it sing to me
Put it back again
I would.
And this moment will always remind me of me, forever.

~

i asked, "issit possible to like an ass?"
she replied a resounding yes.
i remember liking one a year ago.
the process of stopping was freakin' slow.
could it be you remind me of him?
that you're not true like, you're just a whim?
or behind that, is there something i see?
something real, like it's meant to be?