last night fana and i were at mac's at night, around 10pm.. and somehow it seemed different ah. but it was still mac's, i swear, just that it turned into a cafe-like place ah, with dim lighting and stuff. and outside, the path circling the place, it was brightly lit up by many many streetlights. so anyway, fana and i were sitting down somewhere that wasn't our normal place. it was like, the middle row ah.. and i sed to fana that i was going out for awhile.. so i went out to the front and i stood by the payphone nearer to mac's, not tidbits' payphone. i just stood there. no beer or any of the outside regulars, of course. there was, however, this group of guys in RI uniform. long pants. obviously upper sec. they were soooo conspicuous, cos of their uniform. so i looked at them, and i realised that they were raihan and friends! so i got all disgusted. but i stayed where i was. im not sure if i was waiting for someone to come along, or for that someone to call the payphone. haha. they diden see me at first. they were just standing there, talking ah. i guess they were debating whether to enter or not. then one of them glanced around and he saw me. and he instantly nudged a fren and told him. that fren nudged the next guy, and so on until the entire group of guys were looking at me. no, make that staring. i bet they were wondering what to tease me with ah. so anyway, the only one not looking at me was raihan. i suppose he was thinking that i was a basilisk, and that he'd die if he looked into my eyes; alternatively, HE was the basilisk, and he diden want me to die by looking into his eyes. i got irritated. with his friends especially. so before they could say anything, i sed crankily,"whaaat?" they all "jumped". it was almost literal. they diden say anything in reply, and i was still irritated, so i continued,"get lost lah! stop staring! stupid assholes! i diden bother you rite? stupid dumbs. GET LOST!" and while they were still gaping, i stalked off. i walked along the lighted path and entered by the back, then i plopped myself down and started ranting about them to fana. for the record, they never entered mac's that night. either they got skared off, or they got pissed off. take your pick.
don't worry, it was just a dream.

number 22 is i love the way he makes the place feel warmer the moment he steps in.

today we had lunch. yes this time i acherli ate. then we went back to our separate studying abodes.. but im still happy. even seeing wan sze diden put out my happiness. could it be true? could it really be? haha sorry that's just dumb. ohyah i wrote this just now after he came in for the first time:
you walked in.
and suddenly the place feels
so much warmer.
yes i know, it's no haiku. but it's not a cliched i-love-him shit either.

i just visited the "my sassy girl" website.. d/led a temporary 1:44 soundclip of "i believe", and listened to it thrice. it's amazing. lovely. wonderful.
so anyway. i acherli logged on to put this list on internet memory. so.. yah. but first, just a disclaimer: it's not meant to be poetic, overbearing, overemotional, touching, painful, obvious, a hint to him or anyone else, a form of mindless entertainment. cliched as it may seem [this disclaimer AND the list], _{it comes from my heart}.

i love everything about him
1. i love the way he dresses
2. i love his cute grey jacket.
3. i love his huge bottle of mineral water, and the way he drinks it.
4. i love the way his face looks, like a poly student instead of a 16-year-old.
5. i love his quirky manner of bobbing his head to whatever song he's listening to, and even singing along with it.
6. i love the way he's so patient with ANYONE when he's teaching them something.
7. i love the way he teaches stuff.
8. i love that he's so focused on his studying.
9. i love the way he carries the gigantic volume of "the lord of the rings" around.
10. i love his cute hairstyle, that goes so well with his face somehow.
11. i love that he's so friendly with EVERYONE, and i mean everyone. especially his easy manner with the kcpps boys.
12. i love his voice, at any volume.
13. i love the way he plays with his writing instruments, and drops them frequently.
14. i love the way he always tries to make conversation, even with someone like me.
15. i love the fact that he can't sit still either.
16. i love that he acknowledges ALL his friends, regardless of who he's with.
17. i love that he acherli invited me to breakfast and lunch.
18. i love that he doesn't mind studying alone. or eating alone. basically, being alone.
19. i love the way he has sooooo many girl frens too!
20. i love that he sometimes drops by in the morning just for a short chat.
21. i love the way he talks on his phone using his earpiece[s]. but most of all
i love that he makes me smile just by being there. and that i can't stop smiling for, oh, about a day after that.

1. spent the day with pencil. wonderful. except later the kcpps boys came and they cuden stop teasing me. but it was so cute when they asked him if he's from my school, and he was like,"yah my hair fell off.. stress.."
2. "lim" from cedar and her fren came back.. it's been so long.. i really missed them..
3. ooh gigit rantai was dere.. sho cute.. and wei.. and alot of people.. and as i was leaving, i saw screw, buffer zone and.. sahabat!! yay! and no beer or whoevers! amazing.

i had a wonderfully good day. i was a saint today, firstly. and i reached mac's at 7.20 and bought breakfast and i was just sitting down and jeremy came in! he sat infront of me again and asked abt chem pract, and we discussed that, then he had to go to school for a chem class or smthg. he was wearing a psl tshirt and his school trousers.
fana came later, so i decided not to go home early to kepo2 at syida's house.. and sengkuangs came.. marie n wan sze, who were there at 9-plus already.. and beer and her gerl.. parents.. ooh and a-liang and jonathan and wei ming.
den fana and i wanted to go toilet, so we decided to go to the CC one ah. and we went out by the front, cos i was hoping marie was dere.. and we went out.. and marie WAS dere.. and beer's gerl AND wan sze were gone ah.. dah balik, i suppose. and marie was sitting next to bapak. and wei was dere too.. just about to leave ah, with the 3-pointer.. fana smiled at him ah, but i was distracted by marie. den as we passed them bapak was like,"you again!" and i turned around and bapak was looking at me so i just raised my hand, konon waving at her ah. hehe. and while fana and i walked to the pedestrian crossing, wei and 3-pointer got ready to climb the fence. i looked at them ah, and wei was looking at me, den he pointed to the court, as if to ask if we were going there.. he grinned his grin and i waved at him..
oh and b4 that, madaminah was sitting outside when fana and i went out to go j8.. and i couldn't help myself, i sang "sabrina.." after i passed her.. haha. i felt so dumb.
ohyes and after about a thousand years of painful anticipation, jeremy finally turned up at around 5 ah.. yeah.. i waved at him and sed bye to him when i left.
ohyah also, after he arrived, marie came in with jack and another cinlim fren that i've seen before.. but bigger than kawan.. so we're calling her sahabat.. just cos it's longer than kawan, so i kan remember who's who..
-the end-
..and she lived happily ever after..

highlight of the day: jeremy, at 7.30 in the morning, sitting in front of me and saying hello and talking to me, before wishing me luck and leaving.
=)

this is for all the people i like, have liked, will liked, that are associated with bball in any way.
also for my friends to whom bball has a special meaning [read: fana].

i had a rotten day.
WHY COULDN'T YOU COME, JEREMY?

today pencil came. and he came up to me to ask about physics. unfortunately, i dun take physics. darn. then later he asked my name, and i asked his larh. it's jeremy, btw. hehe. and he took bio last year but he dropped it this year. ermm.. yah.
bio pract was okay. no food tests or anything, which means no fire.
aaand. ohyah after bio pract fana and i went bak there for lunch. and it was raining lyke crazy.. and beer came in with lawar, whose name is evan. and parents were there. also the cute cinlim. who we now call "kawan". that's about it.
I HAVE NEW DOLLS!

today pencil came.. and at first there were hardly any seats, so we grinned at him and pointed to the table next to us.. hahah.. anyway later i smiled at him again and he came up to us and asked us which jc we wanna go, and how many points we got. anyway, he got 10 points.. he's such a great guy.. i totally lurve him and his friendliness.. it really made my day..
and abang mrt is alive, thank god..
ermm.. yah and orange stripes guy was there.. yay..
AND soccer, who smiled at me.
AND beast and jack, who smiled at me too.
AAAAND harry, after about a thousand years.

1. dearest, darling, beloved soccer [and kunyah and anudder fren] came to mac's dis morning to study.. then baba and i left for rj first.. and later we saw them! yay! and there was pantai, david.. and.. as we passed raihan, baba was like,"raihan!" and walked away so when he turned he saw me, so i had to wave and say hi. haha. saw lynn too. erm. yah. saw shock this morning. she's in netball. alot of cedar, pl and IJ ppl going to tj... tj has rugby while rj has hockey.

anyway sorry for condensing everything there.

2. this is the big one, see.. it's about the "epiphany" [can i use that word?] i had just now, in my dream that i had before i woke up at 8pm. yes, 8pm. since im very lazy to like, type stuff today, i'll paste the conversation i had with fana:
clemmy-memmy says:
anyway
clemmy-memmy says:
when i went to tj tadi, it caused me to place tj and rj on the same level
clemmy-memmy says:
so aku tak tahu where i wanna go ah
clemmy-memmy says:
so i tried to make a decision tadi ah
clemmy-memmy says:
but i cuden
clemmy-memmy says:
den aku sampai rumah, aku tido..
clemmy-memmy says:
and i had a dream
loving yu is a torture... says:
huh?tj bagus?
clemmy-memmy says:
i dreamt that you me rachel and whoever elses were at the rj open house
loving yu is a torture... says:
ok..sorry for e interruption..
clemmy-memmy says:
[nanti aku elaborate on tj]
loving yu is a torture... says:
juz to show tt im listening..heh
clemmy-memmy says:
then kim dtg ah.. with this tall pretty gerl.. pakai like, rj tshirt ngan shorts
clemmy-memmy says:
and they came up to us ah
clemmy-memmy says:
and i was like feeling friendly, so we sed to kim den aku senyum kat that gerl and i talked to the gerl ah.
clemmy-memmy says:
aku ckp,"hello.. wat's ur name?"
clemmy-memmy says:
den dier bilang den aku tanyer,"so ure kim's fren?"
clemmy-memmy says:
den she laughed and she was like,"oh im her church counsellor" or sum shit liddat ah
loving yu is a torture... says:
hahahahaha..so funny!!super anti-climax sey
clemmy-memmy says:
den i continued talking to her and she told me she was in students' council
clemmy-memmy says:
and i was like,"oh cool! i've always wanted to join!" and she got all excited and she ran off to get like, pamphlets abt students' council for us ah..
clemmy-memmy says:
she was like,"wait for me, i'll be back.."
clemmy-memmy says:
then suddenly u guys wanted to leave
clemmy-memmy says:
so i had to follow you out of the school ah.. and we took a bus.. guess where we were? ...bishan!!!
clemmy-memmy says:
u noe, the 156 nyer bus stop nyer area
loving yu is a torture... says:
haha..then?
[21:22] <[SmiLez]> yo..can yu tok here?msn bising ah..
[21:22] bising?
[21:23] then anyway i kept saying,"eh can we please go back? i wanna go back.."
[21:23] so.
[21:23] i didn't realise it at first
[21:23] but
[21:24] <[SmiLez]> yes?
[21:24] i think it means that what i truly WANT is to go rj
[21:24] -the end-

yeah and that's the end. thank you once again, God.

hey. i had a relatively nice day today..
1. i lurveee pencil!!! today when he arrived he sat at the next table and he smiled at us!!! and of cos we smiled back.. and he even talked to us once.. wow i lurve making a new friend.. especially at bishan..
2. played bball.. the ball started rolling away, down the steps. i chased after it; fell down the steps; died. ok, not died. but i could have. it was soooo freaky. i haf a HUGE bruise on my derriere.. and it hurts everytime i move.. and i can't even stay in my favourite position [that's lying down] in comfort. plus when i got home i discovered 2 other bruises on my leg from the same mishap, of cos.. it's just that i didn't notice them just now because of the more prominent pain.
3. dere was alex today. and jing wei!
4. MRT is alive!
5. marie was around too, around 11-plus. with that ass, no less. they are SUCH a married couple, i swear. how disgusting. saw azzah too, in the bus.. haven't seen her for so long.. she hasn't changed much.. u noe, it used to be--i saw azzah 9 times to seeing marie once. but now it's the other way. can't say im complaining though. but it doesn't really make a difference either way.
that should be all. im going to rj's open house tmr. wish me fun. or DON'T wish me fun, if you'd like to spare rj the misfortune of having me as part of its bumper crop next year.

-kaoz-. the entire comp is screwed or something.. irritating...

i don't mean to make a foofaraw, but..
did you know that it doesn't matter how much you see of people that matter; how many people that matter you see..? because it's all meaningless without the people that MATTER.

let these words be your aubade--
as you rub your eyes open,
as you stretch your limber arms,
as that slow smile spreads,
think of me
thinking of you.

hey. i went to khairul's website.. and i was struck by how much he sounds like me.. on his blog, when he's thanking god and stuff..
anyway.

ineffable adj.
1. Incapable of being expressed; indescribable or unutterable: The feeling of flying without wings is ineffable.
2. Not to be uttered; taboo

therefore when one describes one's feeling at receiving a present as "ineffable", the present must really mean something to the person, right? --forgive me, i have no life, that's why i poke into others'.

i went to the vj open house yesterday.. and i saw pencil!!! and i also stopped liking ashraf.. haha.. and started liking... no one. and i've decided not to go vj at ALL. at ALL.
bye now.

ohyah today i went to bishan after.. well, after NOT going for this entire week. i missed everything! and i saw lotsa people today.. that helped to... melepaskan rindu.. i think that's the term for it... anyway.. there was buffer zone and friends.. unidentified bball guys.. the st. nick's girl.. pencil.. parents.. but the anak wasn't there so that was fine.. or at least, i diden see her.. i saw wei ming and jonathan.. but they were running from those 2 stupid girls.. rambut and gang.. but besar wasn't there.. i was totally melting at the sight of butter.. -sigh- hahahaha... ermm.. ohyeah vik was dere too.. yarh and that's it. now i come to think of it, that's not really very many people.. but.. well, at least i got some work done..

heyz. it's been sooooo long! what have i been doing? well, im not sure exactly. just fasting this entire week, so it was go home straight after school, pray, sleep and wake up in time for buka. then watch tv and back to sleep. yarh. so, as you can see, i've been pretty busy.. going home straight has been great, though! i see all sorts of people including lims, cute gabrielites, cute josephians.. and i get a seat on both buses! and i get home in time to pray, and watch mummies alive! it's win-win all the way..
yesterday i went to bits & pieces to engrave the bracelet. it's not what i expected, but i like it lots anyway. hope she likes it too. and you know what? by pure coincidence, i happened to take the bus with her. but it was soooo weird. i diden know what to say to her, and i diden know what to do.. i never thought it would turn this weird. and how i wish it wasn't.

harloe! im in encounter lab now.. freakin' bored.. yah.. so i dunno wat to do now.. dat's why im here, getting ready to publish my crap to the world.. hmm.. okay i haf nothing else to do OR say.. so. bye.!

U.G.L.Y. by daphne and celeste
[C] OK! I'm a cheerleader now!
[Chorus]
[D&C] U.G.L.Y. You ain't got no alibi you ugly Eh! Hey! You ugly [X4]

[C] I saw you walking down the street just the other day
[C] I didn't see your damage from that far away
[C] I should have got a clue when the kids started screaming
[C] You walked up to me with your buck teeth a gleaming
[C] Your hair was all frizzy and your face was a mess
[C] I thought it was a sack but it's your favourite dress
[C] You hurt the trees feelings and the birds all flew
[C] I don't mean to insult you
[C] Oh wait! Yes I do.

[D] Your teeth are yellow, they're covered in mould
[D] You're only fourteen you look a hundred years old
[C] When looks were handed out you were last in line
[C] Your face looks like where the sun don't shine
[D] Did you fall off a building and land on your head
[D] Or did a truch run over your face instead
[C] There ain't no pill cos you ain't ill

[D&C] You're ugly!
[Chorus]

[D] What you really need is to wear a mask
[D] And book that plastic surgeon fast - (Girl)
[C] You're scary - You're hairy I heard about you
[C] You're the main attraction at the city zoo
[D] You're so fat and ugly with a belly full of flab
[D] When you wear a yellow coat people shout out cab
[C] (So funny)

[D] You got eyes like a pig and your nose is big
[D] And with hair like that you should be wearing a wig
[C] Uncle Fester, remember him? I never knew that you had a twin
[D] You can't disguise your googly eyes
[D] In the Miss Ugly pageant you win first prize
[C] Yo mama says you ugly -
[D&C] You ugly!

[Chorus]
[D]
Get busy [X9]
[C] Yo mama says your ugly
[D] Get busy
[C] Yo mama says your ugly
[D] Get busy
[C] Yo mama says your ugly
[D] Get busy
[D&C] Your ugly!

[D&C] U.U.U.U.
[D] Now I feel like blondie

[D&C]
U.G.L.Y You ain't got no alibi you ugly eh! Hey! You ugly [X2]

[D] Quasimodo
[C] Camel breath
[D] Squarehead
[D&C] Ugly!

[C] Chicken legs
[D] Pig face
[C] Chin like bubba
[D&C] Ugly!

[D] Fish lips
[C] Toad licker
[D] Poindexter
[D&C] Ugly!

[C] Spaghetti arms
[D] Limp butt
[D&C] Freak shown -ugly!

[D&C]
U.G.L.Y You ain't got no alibi you ugly eh! Hey! You ugly [X1]

[D&C]
U.G.L.Y - [C] You could make an onion cry

[D&C]
U.G.L.Y - [D] Like an alien chased by the F.B.I.

[D&C]
You ugly!

faudaf's name is daryl.

hey. i had THE greatest day of my entire life. yes. THE greatest day. wow. i juz.. i dunno. wow. it was totally wonderful. awesome. tubular. and i spent it with my closest friends, my newest friends and my funnest friends..
i reached mac's at 7.24 am, ard there lah. so i waited.. and around 10-plus me baba and fana changed and went to the bball court. or we intended to, anyway. there were lower sec guangyang boys there, so we went to the cc.. and took a million postcards.. and discovered the rooftop garden and a MUCH cooler rubber playground. so we went there.. and lounged around. fana was sleeping. then my fone rang and fana woke up. and that's when she realised the court was empty!!! wow. rite? so we went there in a hurry.. and started playing.. yes, bball. yes, even me. and no, i wasn't a total washout. i got lotsa baskets kay! not as much as fana or baba, but it's ok. point is, i was wonderful, compared to my nothing performance during p.e. bball last year. hehe.. then i was holding the ball ah. about to shoot. then i turned around and saw a group of kcpss guys approaching. i was like,"lelaki!!!" and dropped the ball and ran away towards the stairs. [of course i diden run all the way, i came back ah.] hahah. it was seriously funny. anyway they diden bother us and we diden bother them.. and they were all lower sec.. and i realised one of them was alex's fren.. the one who used to work at mac's also.. anyway, yah.. later he came over to our half of the court and asked us to play 3-on-3 with them.. but we were really lousy rite, so we declined.. but later we were like, sitting down, and he came over to us again and asked again.. by this time, there were 3 guys left only, including him.. haha.. ohyah in between the 3-on-3 requests, our ball got stuck in the net and he helped us retrieve it.. haha.. after much whatevering, we just agreed.. of cos they were damn good.. haha.. one of them shoots exclusively 3-pointers.. all of them accurate.. so cool.. oh yah anyway alex's fren's name is jing wei or jing hui or smthg liddat ah.. hehe.. and they're all in sec 2.. normal tech.. yah and fana has a huuuuge crush on him.. hehe.. anyway they finally gave up playing with us.. haha.. baba left to buy them drinks.. [no, i mean 100-plus] and after that he taught us bball ah.. he is DAMN patient and nice and all dat.. and totally humble.. he was apologising for not being able to like, instruct us better ah.. cos he "only speak chinese".. is that cool or wat? sigh how i lurve making friends. during sports summore. for the first time. wait. acherli no. the st nick's gerls at bishan stadium, rem?
den later kcpps boys came.. nuraini lawar tua came.. beer was dere but i diden see her.. saw mak and bapak.. saw besar lotsa times.. oh YAH! jing wei's whole group KNOWS buffer zone! he joined them at the courts about 15 mins before they [and we] left.. yah and pencil.. the IJ gerl.. umm.. it's kok liang, not guo liang [obviously i prefer the latter].. ooh and of cos i smiled at nuraini, who smiled back.. lawar is a total B-I-T-C-H. she is the worst of all of them. she has the biggest attitude problem. erm.. ohyah.. and donovan came for maybe 10 mins. pantai came too.. and dat's about all i can remember.
i had a great day.

i saw a beautiful bird today. it wasn't REALLY beautiful, but the colours were the nicest i've ever seen on a bird.. orange beak, bright blue wings and the rest of its body was brown. leather-brown. lovely.

harloe world! it's been years, i tell ya, YEARS. so anyway, life has been treating me good. academically. not physically. physically i've been shitty, in all senses of the word. yeah. but still. i count my blessings..
i have a total of 9 points. i think. a few hours ago i was confident of the 9 points, but now im juz wondering if it really IS 9 points. i'll elaborate. i have 4 1s, i think. malay 'o' levels last year, english, e maths and chem. a couple of 2s: bio and a maths. and the rest are 3s: history, combined humans, higher malay. yah that makes up my 8 subjects. using all my 1s, i think i should get a raw 9. so.. i thank God for allowing me to have such wonderful marks. even though i hardly prayed, and hardly studied for everything except maybe chem. hence the 87%. haha. still not good enough [last year it was 89] but im glad i diden disappoint lim b e.
yeah so im gonna go now.. goodnight.