oohyah i watched someone like you again laz night. sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

There once was a mad girl,
who was utterly devoted to a certain boy.
Eyes downcast, blushing, she wandered the streets
She would write letters in secret;
perhaps there was something she just had to say.
Who knows who she was afraid of?
Whenever she met me, she would ask me,
"What is love like?"
And I could only say this:

Chorus:
"Whether your eyes are open or closed, they'll only see the one they love."
How can I tell you, friends, what this thing called love is like?
"Whether your eyes are open or closed, they'll only see the one they love."

Chorus...

Today, once we've fallen for someone, we'll see for ourselves, friends
What is love like? We'll do it and see for ourselves.
Lost in thoughts of someone, we embroidered dreams about them.
Sleeping in someone's embrace, we made them our own.
Oh, friend, in love one neither wakes nor sleeps!
How can I tell you what this love is like?

Chorus

What is it? It's some type of magic, one that just takes you over.
Your heart breaks through a thousand defenses and escapes.
All these decisions are made somewhere in the distant skies above.
Who knows when, where, and how you might meet your soulmate?
Your heart is promised to the one whose name is inscribed upon it.
How can I tell you what this love is like?
--translated Aankhein Khuli

once again, dah lamer tak blog.. haiz.. i'm really tired. i KNOW i shd be doing the script now, but i juz wanted to like, drown myself in mp3s. unfortunately, brother dearest is watching cartoon network now ah. so. yah. erm. okay i last blogged on monday, so.. tuesday was like utter bullshit. acherli kan i juz say tt this week was utter bullshit? tuesday we had mock pft and of cos i failed everything but the run and the stand-n-reach. sheesh. wednesday was oklah. it was birthday dier.. they were singing in the bus. ee buat malu sey.. haha.. as in, malu for him ah.. then.. ohyah i went to borders after tt cos i had a 10-dollar voucher.. but i ended up spending 27-plus bucks anyway. haha. and oodles of time too. i dunno. itz like, i stepped in, found the fiction section, and checked it out, from Z to A.. and i think i spotted about 6 books i wanted to buy. really sad. i wanted to like, cry, cos i really wanted to get all the nice books.. anyway at the end it was between white oleander and this 27-plus bucks book. but i chose the latter. !!!! what is wrong with me? btw, itz kalled how to meet cute boys. haha. imagine reading tt in the train. thank God the title ain't tt big. and in cursive too. aaaaaaaaaaarhhhhhhhhhhhh.. i lurve books.. i really do!!!!!!! okay, next wednesday, or the earliest wednesday i'm free, i'll go there again, plop myself down, and read. until like, 4 or smthg. heh. so farn!
thursday.. thursday.. more OM.. and even more of ex-fren. i dun get it. why, why, WHY muz ex-fren keep appearing juz as i stop caring? ohwell. way of the world, i suppose. hey nasi is really hawt!!! hehe. i know no one else thinks so, but then again, no one else thinks OM is hot either. anyway. yah. i just lurve nasi's nose. itz.. funny. itz the total opposite of perfect. ttz why i like it. i mean, i used to like latte cos of his beaky nose wat. wahahah.
and today was friday with more horrible pe, and we also went to bodyworlds. can i juz reiterate how hot OM is. okay and the exhibition was cool. but not like, pow or anything. i know sya was totally affected by the deformed foetus.. but heh. i wasn't. also, si bfg seems determined to like, block OM from me forever. sheesh. and latte was bersubahating too. i'm skared of latte. his smiles can be so condescending. takyah suah. so niari i diden get to ambik the gambar. alah sampai aku dah bercucu pon takkan dapat nyer ah.
eeps i juz realised tt the person watching cartoon network iz my cousin!!!!!!!!!! sheesh! patutlah he looked fatter! hai kakak sendiri pon takleh recognise adik. hopeless. hopeless.
ooh. tadi i saw right's "10-yr-old" face. sho kewt!!!!!!!!!!!! -matis- like i sed, he's one boy yu kan like without being accused a paedophile. heh. and no, i did NOT claim him as mine!!! how can someone claim someone like tt? i just like him wat. one person kan be liked by an infinite number of ppl.. so.. yah. just making a point. but dun worry sya, i'll never like yur happy T fren. heheh. happy T fren. i'm so smart sumtimes. ooh tmr touch rug carn. kan't wait to see fana.

ooh.. dah lamer tak blog.. after the lull of cny day 1, things got busy again, i'm afraid.. anyway, friday was pretty cool. went to lido and, together with baba, got the whole scene breakdown done. and characterization also. there are 3 acts, and 7, 7 and 6 scenes respectively. anyway, it was really funny when we were eating at anatolia with ili.. the "faezah" guy, and the ice cream incident.. haha. and buying half-price cakes from jasini at cafe vienna.. [i still say mine was the nicest!] and the rg drama was pretty not bad.. like i sed, i lurve all the costumes and the cool dances.. really lively n stuff. our drama will prolly b quite subdued, with the exception of our saving grace, GodMat. den.. yah. the weird part was tt the storyline seemed a little too close for comfort.. sigh.. and it made me more nervous about the shaky possibility of the drama being a success. well yah. but it was a nice day anyhow.
saturday was alrite, i suppose. sats were.. not really how i expected them. i died during practically all the verbals except for the last one. but it was a pretty cool [temp-wise] day, so why shd i complain. then.. ohyah after realising i had nothing to wear with my pinknpurple pants, i threw on my 3-yr-old baju kurung combo and thankfully got a lift to skl frm kumara.. gpa sounds great so far. and thanks to filza playing evanescence songs on the piano, i d/led "my immortal" semi-reluctantly. sheesh. haha. then we taxied to kak ati's, where i had in-depth research into lumpurs.. and then.. ohyah we taxied to singapore post centre, where there were yet more lumpurs who i juz cldn't stop staring at.. then.. we trained to clementi.. haha. the train ride was how funny. shaf and i were doing total 6d bonding.. haha. hm and then we got a lift from hazwani's sister to the ucc.. where i only enjoyed sp's and ntu/nie's performances.. they also got 1st n 2nd respectively.. heh.
and today was juz a horrible day. the hoodies were great but dunch haf my size. aarrrgghhh. the 105 was how freakin full. but well. i got to do more research. and i did finish 2 scenes. wahoo.
now, back to econs essay. which i haven't even started, btw.

Hook: She was leaving you. Your Wendy was leaving you. Why should she stay? What have you to offer? You are incomplete. Let's take a look into the future, shall we? You fly to Wendy's nursery and... what's this? The window's closed.
Peter: I'll open it.
Hook: I'm afraid the windows barred.
Peter: I'll call out her name.
Hook: She can't hear you.
Peter: No.
Hook: She can't see you.
Peter: Wendy.
Hook: She's forgotten all about you.
Peter: Stop it. Please. Stop it.

----------------

Wendy: This belongs to you, and always will.

hey i'm home!!! kan yu believe it? like i sed, the last time i went home early [as in before 10] was like, on the 7th.. haha. and today i got home at around 7 ah.. it feels so good to have the luxury of baring2ing on my bed and watching actual good tv programs before going to sleep. haha. like so jakun liddat. but itz truelah. i really forgot wat itz lyke to get home early. early for me, anyway.
well today was fun. this whole week's been fun, if yu try and forget the whole mati-stealing-our-discmans incident. which is kinda impossible, but at times itz possible to forget it. like when i was dancing just now. haha. basically, i was just focusing on the neverending mistakes i made.. haha. seriously. i'm such a shite. sikit gitu pon boleh luper. takper. jgn stres. itz over anyhow. haha. and plus, at least OM wasn't there to c me look stupid and extra.. hm.. took lotsa lotsa pics.. veh fun.. and i was sitting there in the lt with my camera and remembering how it was last year.. with like, cup of coffee sitting there commanding my attention, and wanting to take a picture of him, but getting takot eventually.. haha. and this year it was sumone else, of cos. someone who looks totally different but doesn't command any less attention from me. wahaha. aper yg aku merepek ni.. yah so pendek kata, i got what i wanted today, except for the picture with OM. haiz. penat2 aku memilih baju to like change into if i was gonna take photo with him!!! takper. takper. my nose is acting up again anyhow. then after tt sya filza n i hung out at specs gall discussing gpa and artsfeste. tomorrow afternoon i'll restart the script lar. but i muz be allowed to wake up late!
a stroke of good luck caused kak ati to turn off her fone [both of them], so we went straight to orchard to meet ili. we also met the commonwealth gerl, who's in cross country, and whose name is isti or however yu spell it. haha. and well, she eluded detection so far juz cos she doesn't look malay. haha. it was funny when she suddenly asked sya, "are yu guys in malay society?" den.. we went to eat at anatolia, my first time ever. it was nice. the bynk rambut waiter was, of cos, a source of laughs for all. and of cos, meeting anushka there was really cool too. i thot the bob was a cool hairstyle for her.. she seems to talk different now.. yah.. but other than tt shez still the same.. hm.. i never thot she'd ever cut her hair short. always thot she loved it.. ohwell. i guess some things do change. well itz a nice change. den we went to livia, cos ili wanted her new scrunchie. and guess what i found?!?!?!?! my peenk jelly bracelets!!!!!!!!!!!!!! heh. acherli they look like they're discolouring now, but if they do then too bad. i'll just wear the orange ones. haha. then when we were going down the escalator to the surau, this group of lumpurs coming up started flexing their arms in and out at us, for sum inexplicable reason. hm.
oh and thanks to the wonderful power of w@p, we managed to catch the 3.35 peter pan at cine, without having to trudge into lido first.. wow. can i juz like die now? yes rite? cos jeremy sumpter is like how adorable ah. not hot. adorable. cute. still droolable. oohable. aahable. i-really-love-you-pls-dun-look-sad-able.. all tt ah.. i juz lurve it when he smiles. without showing his teeth. it has to be like the cutest face ever! i think all babies pon kalah.. so yah sya and i were just drooling, ooohing, aahing, and i-love-you-ing.. dunno about ili and filza.. haha. prolly not ah.. they're so much more level-headed than me. and i diden cry, all the way up till the parents part. ohhhh.. tink really sux. shez such a horrible character. she shd juz go n die. which she did, of cos, but unfortunately, tt diden last long, did it? anyway whatever effects they used, they were great. neverland looks soooooooooo beeyootifull.. and i like tt itz set long long ago, with all those grand party gowns and top hats and nightgowns and nightshirts n stuff. it makes everything so much more lawar and real, cos there's so much actual life in it.. no torchlights.. no stupid machines cluttering up space meant for human contact and human interactions.. well ttz juz what i think. all the bricks used to make one house.. and nana the cute nurse dog. basically, what i'm trying to say here is watch peter pan. cos we acherli wanted to watch it again. cumer we were all broke by then, so mebbe another day.
ili missed the tapered mats who passed us just now, so when they passed us again, i pointed them out.. and then we happened to be walking really near them.. and she was juz talking loudly about how shez never seen such mats before.. and stuff liddat. and they were juz there ah! for once, it was ili who was embarrassed and not me! haha. sorry. i'm not taking pleasure in another's misery. just feeling amused at the one-time role-reversal. but hey hazwani, dun worry.. ur not gonna see them again wat.. never ever again.. so no need to be embarrassed. anyway at least we managed to escape them thanks to meeting dee2 at the traffic light. haha.
well yah ttz abt all i have to say for today. no more one-side stuff, i think. since there'll b no more late-night tarian. ohwell. freedom of sleep comes at a high price. nitez!

eh? i'm blogging at about the same time i did last night. i bet yu MR is lyke sleeping now ah. which juz goes to show how warped the world is, how cld a tarianer get home later than a.. well a sports cca person or councillor or whatever..? neway, got home at 11.15 ah.. wow yu shd have seen the hordes of ns guys! i wanted to like hang out and check them out, manerlah tahu, boleh nampak si mugant or clemmy-memmy.. but sya's dad was already coming so we pretty much rushed past them. hm. i did see one cute vik though. and he was alone [i.e. takder gf picking him up], so heheh. ok watever. i haven't really had a chance to let out the tension of the weeks that have flown past since skl reopened. technically ttz just 2.5 weeks. but the tension building up is how great. why am i so freaking sibuk anyway? sheesh.
hm. today was like a mirror image of yesterday. extremely similar but with sum marked differences. there was OM. [by default, acherli. i was waiting for sya, cos i wanted to report the bags with her, so i let the bus go.. sudahlah exfren, nak senyom2 kat sini.. yah so OM happened to come after tt. heh.] smiled at OM summore, before chem lec.. skipped chem lec and sat at the gall enjoying the breeze and contemplating wat happened to the bags and mobilising the west-jcs bag-searchparty.. seeing the op-man and wondering why mati [suicide guy] was smirking at us.
econs tutorial and hana msging us to say tt slrdlm found our bags. tt they were at the same place as yest. well i ran down to check but takde ah. then econs lec ended and hana called and sed she found them. for the record, they were at the stairwell next to room 1-10. i couldn't stop hugging hana, and then i opened my bag, and my discman was gone. i dunno why it hurt. of cos they took my discman rite.. why wouldn't they? it was the only thing of universal value in that bag. sorry guys, shoulda left my wallet there too rite? AND my nice new camera fone. itz obvious they did it in a hurry, both the buckles on the left side were open. and while i was crumpled on the ground crying, si MC nak cam, menyebok-nyebok! hello!!!!!!!!!!! i did NOT invite her to share my pain! sheesh. anyway she got lost somewhere in the middle of my crying. oh and later before maths lec i spotted our hero, slrdlm. so i ran up to him and tapped his shoulder and sed, "you found our bags rite? thank you soooo much!" and he was like, "oh no, i just saw them.. filza told me.." i was thinking, huh? but i sed, "well thank you!" and left.. wow. filza told him about it like this morning ah! and he saw them.. tt means he found them rite? sheesh. modest. another hero quality. wahaha. slrdlm, our new hero. letz all stand up and hail him!
on another note, pe sux. dun get me wrong, i really like udu. she's really nice. and funny and all. shez just tough, and ttz basically why i feel like dying for the, oh, 1 and a half hours of pe? it was 3 rounds at supersonic speed, giler conditioning with around-our-height poles, and intervals or whatever yu kall them. for like, 4 rounds. well. when it comes to exercise rite, i hate the process but i love the results. i felt soooo soooo soooo hebat after tt. sooooo bloodrush.. [nak ckp bloody, but it would have come out the wrong way.] then it was auditions, where some of the people really awed me with their suitability as the characters. espesh hadri. or however yu spell it. he rawks. he definitely adds character to haikel. woohoo. then it was tarian. oh we got scolded by cikgu, cos of like late pracs and getting abang ram without telling her. basically it was juz cos we diden tell her anything ah. anyway then after tt, when she was done, jau sed to sya and me, "relax ah, dun take it too hard.." or smthg along those lines. i was just like, woh-ed by how perceptive he was. hebat man..
tarian wasn't bad, it definitely looks neater now. thanks to abang ram, of cos. hm. remember i mentioned pe just now? yah it caused my legs to feel like jelly halfway thru the dance. so i sat down on the floor during improvisasi. heh. sorry. sumtimes yu just gotta do what yu gotta do.
and the night rounded off beautifully with more one-side interactions. hebat sey! -grins takleh berhenti- but like i sed, no details here. skali ppl figure it out. i'm dead.
ohYAH. speaking of ppl figuring things out, after pe i was strolling alone to the lockers. then at the lt i lalued si lumut n exfren. pas tu si exfren sed hi, which i answered, and lumut sed hi, which i also responded to. then as they walked past me, exfren sed "nice earrings!" and i continued walking while the duer ekors continued their conversation. then after 2 seconds lapsed, i realised what he prolly meant by that, so i screamed, "shut up lar!" yah. i haf no idea what they reacted, if they even did. sorry. i think was juz too spaced out. too much exercise endorphins can make yu stoned as well as drugs do, i suppose. hey, does tt mean tt fidodido told him? and therefore, the rest of the "mats"? shit lar! i am so freakin dead! it cld only be tt. why? cos exfren doesn't come close enough to me to see my earrings. AAARRRRGGGGHHH. buat malu je! i swear, if fidodido was the one who told him, i am SO gonna like, break into the PA system and broadcast the three audioclips of his merdu-bagaikan-buluh-perindu singing.
ohyah. back to the bag part. if slrdlm sed it was at the same place it was yest, tt means he saw it yest!!! hm.. that really really means tt he IS the original hero who found our bags! terima kasih once again, sluardalam. love ya foreva. semangat pasir ris! whoo!
okay i think tt means itz time to turn in. nite.

i remember sumtime last year, or the year before that, i said tt everything happens to me and i was wondering why, basically. well yah. once again, i wonder, why does everything have to happen to me?
hm how did today begin? it was fine. i wore the vans shoes again. nice. the nicest thing about them is tt yu kan't slip and fall. haha. then.. yah. OM was there, which was kwite a nice start to the day, and all tt. i forgot tt when i have a nice start to the day, everything will start to go crazy from there. but i think i was on a plateau then ah. while walking to the assembly ground, OM passed and i juz gave this stupid smile. really. it was horrible and stupid. but he smiled back, so takpelah. i was like fainting on amir after tt. saw OM alot of times throughout the day too. heh. had lunch at mac's. it was an adventure getting back, cos it was basically raining like siao. nasib baik baru 3 of us ah.. then.. sya n i went in for econs lec late.. mona never noticed tt... and i just sat there fooling around and watching OM sleep. lepas tu was auditions. pretty alright, i'd say. the most interesting part has to be the one where i cried after watching yus and iylia act out a leila-and-mikh scene. while they were acting i was just gaping, but with one hand covering my mouth. then.. when they left i juz buried my head in my hands and started laughing, which soon turned into crying. it was how weird. and i couldn't stop. and i'm not sure why i cried. mebbe cos it was exactly how i pictured it to be. when i wrote that scene, the way they acted it out was the exact way i pictured it in my mind, in my heart, everywhere in me. and everyone knows i'm like in love with mikh's character rite? how lame is that? falling in love with someone you created. aper saje entah..
then it was tarian. but i skived around in the canteen for like, 45 mins or so.. with like shaf and yus and ili and tt st nick's gerl and tt pl gerl. btw, i must rem to ask their names. it'd make things easier. we were just exchanging code names and stuff. really cool, really fun.. haha. hm den.. we finally went for tarian. there was alot of people-staggering-in-and-out. so in the end, i dun really think we got very much done besides juz hammering the steps further into their heads.
and not forgetting the fact tt i lost my bag!!! and sya did too! i swear, whatever sins i've committed since i was born, nothing, and i mean nothing, equals the magnitude of what the giler-babi-setan thief has done to me and sya. after making stupid jokes about the situation, sya and i started laughing, which evolved into me crying. why was i crying? oh, i dunno.. maybe cos i lost my discman? my dad bought it for me! it was purple! i lost 4 of my burnt cds.. my kampung-mat/glamour-babe foto was in there. the script. the brainstorming. the bear fana gave me for a birthday. the nametags--my name, acgs, and lima jenises i think. not to mention the tasmanian devil from my mom and tt the bag is my matching bag with baba! and, as an afterthought, the tutorials tt i JUST did just now. tell me, what else can i feel now but despair?
apparently there's elation too. one-side is still cute. how can i resist senyuman dier yang secomel itu? itz juz sooooo blardee innocent and playful and.. aaaarrrggghhh. i'm juz basically having a heeeuuuugggee crush. unfortunately, i kan't divulge details here, skali sumer orang tahu.. buat malu je..
ohyah. the merepek zaman sec2/3 poem tt shafia reminded me of:
mat sesat bersiul-siul
entah apesal, giler aku bet
agaknya dorang sudah biul
kau pulak orrait, set!
wow ain, kau sudah berdarah sasterawan sejak muda-muda lagi. wahahah. ok nites.

i am soooooooo tired!!!! does anyone realise tt with the exception of one wednesday, i haven't been home early since the year began? and here i was thinking tt a no-S, 3-subber, ccaless person like me wld be soopa free. but nooooooooooo!!! tarian decides to occupy my every waking moment. and sum sleeping moments too. and other teeny weeny moments are occupied by OM worrieswishesnhopes and artsfeste ilham-finding.
so today i went to SA in the morning. halim wears ALOT of deodorant/perfume. haha. i was totally reminded of adzfar. well, itz better than stinking. or smelling of flowers or smthg totally inappropriate. ok digressing. erm. ohyah. so i taught them the 3rd n 4th chapters.. and yah. left the fifth one je.. i saw stewart/stuart/whatever. com. reminiscent of nick. heheh. as in nick tiup. it was a productive tarian, i'd say.. although only 2 of the guys were there.. and i was also wondering if OM went for the combined skls tryouts.
OM, who looked soopa handsome and hot and meltifying today. the whole filling-up-the-doorway thing--kan i like, die? it took all my self-control, and then some, not to run up to him and ask to take the gambar today. and he juz kept turning up at the wrong moments, like when i was going thru the steps with rudy. sheesh. wad is his problem? bad timing betul sey! [although i'm not really complaining here. bad timing is better than none.] the rehearsal was fine, i suppose. i just felt bad tt rudy had to feel bad abt not remembering the steps. haiz.. so yah we had tarian remedial.. which pretty much completely took my mind off OM. haha.
some people juz gotta be so cute huh? i couldn't help but notice lar! and cair, rite? sheesh. you shd haf seen me cairing. everyone else did. yaaarrgh. anyway, after tt i had a really fun time at specs gall quarter-watching soccer and discussing artsfeste with ili, sya, filza and shaf. it was fun. really fun. and productive too, i'd say. lepas tu kiter gi sembahyang and makan, then we climbed back in and continued the discussion while listening to udu keeping fit.. and taking gambars.. and sya suaning me bout OM.. and me suaning her rite back abt MisteR. and me scoring a hat-trick. haha. not the sports kind, of cos. haha. oh and not forgetting what was prolly the best part of the day/night--the gang initiation. haha. had lotsa fun man!!! had no idea lepaking in skl could be funner than hanging out sumwhere outside.. yah so as a result, it was about 10pm when we left.
and here i am. at home. and itz like almost 1230. sheesh ain. what is wrong with yu. gi tidolah.
ooh tadi kat pasir ris a whole group of tapered-pants mats were there. haha. so i had fun researching stuff for GodMat. their gait, their colourful n patterned shirts, their shoes, the aforenamed tapered pants, the stiff and unmovable rambot.. they were all bagless, sebenarnye. but nemind. they kan still bawak tt gross checked bag. kool.

ohnooo! i haven't blogged since monday!!! horrible withdrawal symptoms, PLUS now this entry will be sum sort of a thesis on 4 days of my life or smthg. aarrrgghhh. i hate long entries. they really piss me off reading them. well anyway. i'll start now. since i basically forgot everything, i'll go backwards.

today was skl, and ohyah. i brought baba's hockey stick to skl. and thank God i was sleepy, so i managed to not feel embarrassed by sleeping deeply until redhill or smthg. haha. and even if i terbanguned, i refused to open my eyes. haha. but kaoz.. it was a horrible experience for my neck. i might just break it someday. from sleeping in the train. haha. i was praying and praying tt OM wouldn't be there to see, but he was there. and yah. eeee buat malu. i basically tried to avoid looking at him for the rest of the day. haha. oh we were eating at mac's tadi while talking about gpa [of course, i had more of my mini-arguments with nizam. haha.] and yus and ili and 2 of ili's tk frens came to talk to us, and one of them's from loyang!!! alrite! shez in sa.. ohyah forgot to tell baba. takpe besok also kan. ohyes. renji was at mac's too and he told us tt innocent ol' ME is in the friggin soccer video la!!!!!!!!!!!!! buat malu sia! i mean, at first i was juz whatever, but baba put a new spin on it juz now. since we were being portrayed as his fan club, he'll prolly get suaned by the rest of the world and he'll hate us ah for tt!!! argh. bodoh sey. y kan't frens support their frens? sheesh! and i mean actual frens. not frens frens. okay only certain ppl will get what i meant by tt. had tarian at sa. i "choreographed" another chapter. woohoo! go ain! haha. well it was mostly stolen from previous and current tarians, of cos. no one to see there today, unfortunately. but this time i finally met hirman again, and i think his specs r so cool. lyke harry potter. but in tortoiseshell. haha.
and no, i still dun believe OM was looking at me. maner tau, dier tgh fikir2 ke..
ohyah.. i was checking out the jau-teaching-the-guys tarian. haha. half the time they were juz fooling ard. but i had no energy to bising2. i was more like thinking, "my brother kan break better.." cos they were trying to break, basically. haha. klakar sey. all these efforts to be mat. one-side was being really adorable!!! argh! if i continue to watch him be himself, i'm juz gonna totally totally crush him ah!!! ttz crazy! but hez sooooooooooooooooooooo comelllllllllllll!
which reminds me. i haf a totally cool new hand gesture. inspired by ili, who was trying to "remind" me, the non-physics-past-present-and-future, of the right-hand rule. haha.

yest there was econs lec. OM looked frickin cute when he was sleeping. whee! haha. and taking pictures/filming was a blast! hahaha. hilarious and all tt jazz. then we had more tarian, at which jau was the only guy. well he seemed to perfect the dance so takpe. den when jau was gone, fairuz pulak datang. well takpe. the gerls taught him. shafia appeared to get a kick out of nagging him. haha. ohyah. sorry but i'm still amazed tt sya's happy fren knows me. and do i haf a happy fren? nolah takde. ermm.. ohyah then baba came. we were looking for the subject of our fan club, but takder. and we spent like 15 minutes at bv mrt trying to convince each other tt i shd/shd not bring home her stick. haha. the woman in the control station kept staring at us. i really think tt she thot we were gonna bomb the place or trash it or smthg. wahaha. oh and ivan gave me a huge fright yest when he apparently had smthg serious to talk to me abt. sheesh. as in, it WAS serious. but totally not what i was expecting. and i wouldn't have expected him to notice either. him, of all people? well i hope we kan solve this problem then.

wednesday was cool. after a short meeting at the concourse, i went to sa. i juz couldn't seem to wake up in the bus. haiz. well anyway, only irwan was there for tarian. and so i juz hung out watching. but there were billions of cute guys! u turn one way, ader 2 or 3. yu turn the other way, ader lagie! haha. i thot thinesh was cute. i was sitting with the rest at the hockey table and he walked up and stared at me, so i smiled at him, and he was like, "crasher!" and baba was like, "nolah shez in j2! rj!" haha. but peter was even cuter. woohoo! hez in cricket, baba sed. he's really lawar man. perfectly round face, without being tembam. anyway he juz rox. i was really melting there. then sum of us went for dinner kat adam road food court. haha i met jasmine there.. anyway it was juz really fun cos i've never been out with a whole MIXED group of malays like tt.. fun.. yup.. laughed alot. and of cos i got to carry baba's stick and feel spiritually connected. and in 53 home, i was sleeping and when i woke up it was raining.. wow.. nighttime, raining outside, aircon inside the bus, jacket keeping me warm.. i kinda felt like i was in rgs again and simply going home after a 5-7plus tarian with abang ram. it was cool. plus of cos i got to use my beautiful pink umbrella. heh.

tuesday we had a soopa looooong tarian. but since OM was partially around, who kares rite? haha. i think we left at 9-plus.. reached mrt at 945.. yah. i juz lurve climbing. itz so... unconventional. heh. and yah i spent alot of time getting pissed at certain individuals who haf become more gatal n playful since entering rj, and melting at cute individuals with adorable smiles and endearing determination to dance..
okay and before i cair now on the bed i'll juz leave.
ohyah one of the days, i was walking behind green fren, and i was like, complaining abt smthg, so i was like wailing, "green fren!!!!!!!!!!" and he turned around!!!! eeps. too close for comfort, tt was.

today wasn't really a great start to the week. but there was tarian, and i had fun watching sya teach rudy. haha. sorry. i wasn't feeling very teach-y then. haha. and it was hilarious when suraj hua maddham was playing and gaya did a double take and came to sit down and listen. haha. we shd do tt more often, i think. and then after tarian sya and i hung back and watched hockey trials for abit. interesting turnout. at least ttz what i think.
sigh. why do some people haf to be soooooo cute?

Hitam manis, hitam manis
Yang hitam manis
Pandang tak jemu, pandang tak jemu
Yang hitam manis, pandang tak jemu

Hitam manis, hitam manis
Yang hitam manis
Parasmu cantik, buah hatiku
Siang dan malam selalu ku rindu

Di waktu bulan terang cuaca
Ku pejam mata tapi tak lena
Yang hitam manis datang menjelma
Yang hitam manis datang menjelma
Kenangan yang menggoda
Aku teringat pandang pertama
Aku teringat pandang pertama

Hitam manis, hitam manis
Yang hitam manis
Pandang tak jemu, pandang tak jemu
Yang hitam manis, pandang tak jemu--a really cool old song called Hitam Manis

dunno if the d/l link will work but whoever's interested, try and read my unfinished script here.

i'm so tired. but i finally paid off my sleep debt to mr. sandman just now, after i came back frm geylang.. that also means tt i diden do any hw.. haha. alah. nanti ah. and plus, i diden pick up the chem practs!!! so yah.. i dunno what we're gonna do tmr la..
yest was how interesting. for the first time in my life, i was involved in a 14-people tarian.. at some points we were just lying around and stoning, and i wanted to cry cos i juz never thot i'd see so many people willing to dance!!! amazing how one year makes such a difference in people's attitudes. adzfar still dances the same way. haha. sorry. seeing him makes me laugh. oh and we shared our sluardalam story with anuja and halima.. and baba came over and i am also officially a choreographer! hebattt!!! haha. and then we watched the soccer match, screaming our support for raihan as usual.. haha. he diden play in the third quarter, and you could hear the deafening silence from us.. haha bodoh.. well i dunno why, we juz like to scream for him ah.. there was this reeeeaaaalllllyyyy short st. gabe's boy.. haha. how can i call him a guy, when it looks to me like he's still in nursery skl? so yah we were kalling him nursery.. anyway yah it was pretty fun but they were acherli filming the game so i juz hope our voices weren't caught on tape.. haha.
more tarian tmr.. for the hockey guys.. and the day after.. warh i juz wanna die now.. and guess what, itz only the second week!!!

i'm gonna sleep now. but i dun really want to. cos i'm skared i'll dream of OM.
no, i really AM skared of tt. i dunno why. i don't really understand how my own mind works when it comes to OM. how i'm paralysed and i refuse to like, senyom kat dier when he's around. how i'd rather die slowly. apeeee je rite? but i'm juz finding my mind an unsolvable mystery in tt aspect.

well basically, i know i won't be able to wake up tmr. so i shd juz stop now and sleep rite? but i know i won't be able to sleep if i dun relate the day's experiences. and somehow, today feels sooooo long. itz like so many things happened tt i dun think it all fits into one day. and my earlier elation is ebbing away. alot of things basically pissing me off rite now. including myself. acherli itz mostly myself. why kan't i juz be a normal person who doesn't like anyone? wouldn't life be so much better then? why kan't i be like.. i dunno, hana? SHE doesn't like people.. and it juz makes life a whole lot less complicated and a hell of a lot less embarrassing.
juz now was o-night. it was nice. i had lotsa fun watching the jaxoras idol thingy. but it got pretty un-funny and therefore un-fun towards the end. nonis was excellent though. reeaaaallllyyyy funny. really. deserved to be the jaxoras idol. and of cos, simon cowell. it was such a perfect opportunity to bising2 kat dia for all he's sinned towards us. so yah i joined in the booing with all my heart in it. alot of breezes, and the three of us had first-class seats sia.. right in the centre, with an overturned bucket infront of me so i cld rest my pretty feet with the orange toe. then we had first-class seats to the campfire, right there in the gallery, lotsa leg room, elevation, no smoke, no heat, plenty of nyaman breeze.. i thot the ivan music video was hilarious, they shd like make copies and sell, mesti ader profit.. and like i sed just now, i'll never look at those red flowers the same way again.
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i had this like, OM dream last night. i think it was a combination of night tarian and the beautiful missed opportunity mentioned in ili's blog yest. i dunno. i know i kan't really remember my dreams, but i can usually have at least the vaguest idea of what it was by the feeling i get when i wake up. there was this dream i had about syurga. and i woke up feeling really good, and believing tt it really happened. once there was this dream where this guy was bullying me [verbally only] and i woke up crying. yah liddat ah. so when i woke up frm the OM dream, i was sad/angry. which is acherli how i feel today so i dunno whether tt was a premonition or the determinant ah.
took the right train this time. sya even got a seat next to me. raihan's present is VERY NICE! the gang of 5 was there. and i wanted to like, run away. cos yest night i promised myself/sya that i'd seize the next opportunity tt arises. before i could take my next breath, the bus arrived ah. i dunno why, or maybe i do and i juz duwan to say, but sya and i melambat2kaned our steps. so we ended up masuking with the gang. pas tu OM was just there. and fido dido looked at me and indicated OM's presence. and grinned. ah buat malu!!! den OM sat down kat depan so kiter were at the back. and i assume i was tensioning, cos i kept laughing for absolutely noooooo reason ah. then bus berhenti. den orang2 turon. den sya n i nak turon last skali, as in really last, so kiter boleh juz tgk the ones tt kiter nak tgk without being tgked ourselves. and i was already singing as i got out cos i really believed bahawa kiter laz ah! but it turns out we landed in an air pocket, right infront of the ones. and somehow, sya's fren like, smoothly appeared next to her, so they started talking and guess who was left behind with me?
it was really horrible trying to contain ourselves after that. we screamed and died and died somemore. i dunno. itz like everything fell into place. like someone outside of the situation engineered it so tt the things happened at the precise moment they were supposed to. lepas tu it was like kiter asyik jumper dier je. kat assembly. kat mac's. kat tempat yang dim tu. and me melataring "oh mak terperanjat" cos i WAS. lepas tu kat luar class tu when we were going out [again]. and yes, bare feet looks so sexy on some ppl.
i don't understand why itz so important for me not to embarrass him. but it is.

on another note, there was a reaaaaaallllllllyyyyyy cute mim guy at starbucks just now. heheh. and i got a slightly prolonged encounter cos he was having trouble unwrapping the 5-cent coins. heheh. he was, as baba would put it, a "true blue lelaki comel". as in, the instant reaction is "wow cute!" not acquired taste. or anything. yah.
remember the "first official cute j1" i mentioned on monday? haha. he's in my junior class! woohoo! keep it up man! i will not put his name here to protect his privacy. and mine. haha. but i kall him espresso.

okay i know i'm supposed to be like, starting the script. haha. in a while.. yest was tarian. not bad, anuja and halima joined us and they're doing pretty well.. OM was nowhere to be found. today i think i got the right train, but once again, OM remained lost. took a lovely scenic route home today. 196 went thru chinatown and those funny rivers which i dunno the name of, and stuff liddat. it was a soopa bumpy ride, i really thot we might topple over sumtime. den i got down somewhere along the route and took 12 home. yes it was a long journey. but i got alot of sun.. espesh at the number 12 bus stop.. so yes, next wednesday i'll do this again. only i'll make time to put on my tanning lotion next time. haha.
i juz watched merlin on hallmark. itz cool. i was never familiar with the stories of camelot.. so it was definitely interesting.. the witch is damn cool.. hoarse voice and all.. haha.
okay i'll get started on the script now. i think. ohyah. got this in a forward. itz cool.
As you got up this morning, I watched you, and hoped you would talk to me, even if it was just a few words, asking my opinion or thanking me for something good that happened in your life yesterday. But I noticed you were too busy, trying to find the right outfit to wear. When you ran around the house getting ready, I knew there would be a few minutes for you to stop and say hello, but you were too busy. At one point you had to wait, fifteen minutes with nothing to do except sit in a chair. Then I saw you spring to your feet. I thought you wanted to talk to me, but you ran to the phone and called a friend to get the latest gossip instead. I watched patiently all day long. With all your activities I guess you were too busy to say anything to me.

I noticed that before lunch you looked around, may be you felt embarrassed to talk to me, that is why you didn't bow your head. You glanced three or four tables o! ver and you noticed some of your friends talking to me briefly before they ate, but you didn't. That's okay. There is still more time left, and I hope that you will talk to me yet. You went home and it seems as if you had lots of things to do. After a few of them were done, you turned on the TV. I don't know if you like TV or not, just about anything goes there and you spend lot of time each day in front of it not thinking about anything, just enjoying the show. I waited patiently again as you watched the TV and ate your meal, but again you didn't talk to me.

Bedtime I guess you felt too tired. After you said good night to your family you popped into bed and fell asleep in no time. That's okay because you may not realize that I am always there for you. I've got patience, more than you will ever know. I even want to teach you how to be patient with others as well.

I love you so much that I wait everyday for a nod, prayer or thought or a thankful part of your heart. It is hard to have a one-sided conversation. Well, you are getting up once again. And once again I will wait, with nothing but love for you. Hoping that today you will give me some time. Have a nice day!

Your friend, ALLAH

ohyah forgot.. juz listened to geniring party.. am proud to state tt i remember the tarian!!! woohoo! exciting sia!!! i lurve dancing.. can't wait.. and i juz d/led i wanna hold your hand... heheh.. totally reminded me of the ktving... and ili's fren, of cos.. haha.
Oh yeah, I�ll tell you something
I think you'll understand
When I say that something
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand

Oh, please, say to me
You'll let me be your man
and please, say to me

You'll let me hold your hand
Now let me hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand

And when I touch you i feel happy, inside
It's such a feeling
That my love
I can't hide
I can't hide
I can't hide

well. today was.. not as bad as i expected it to be? on the academic front, maths was damn slack and chem was.. also slack. although he realised i didn't do the work.. ohwell. nth new huh..
wad was new? hmm. well not having bio was new. as in, i dunno. bio breaks juz feel more luxuriously longer this year. the library, as i commented, had a grand total of 8 people when i was there. haha. nice. juz sitting there knowing i was doing work.. and stuff. and i had sum sustenance at the upsized mac's. hehe. kesian kedai soyabean tu. wonder where THEY went. hm.. ohyah econs lec. it seemed longer. also cos it was colder ah. cos i din bring any warm stuff. and mc called on like beribu people, konon showing off tt she knows the whole lt.. and i had a shot of ambivalence when she called on OM. i mean, hello, why spotlight him? but then again, how nice to watch him answer and mebbe hear his voice. and she must have sed his name like a billion times in the 2 minutes she took to ask him qns.. like i asked fana, does she mebbe crush him too?!?! argh. den she called on me!!! and pronounced it wrongly!!! and sum asshole waay infront was suaning sya's fren! and non-fren snickered at tt! sorry to make such a big deal of it, itz juz tt i thot it was over. loooong over. but at least i've found one of the culprits la.. hm wad else was interesting. ohyes. was watching the 6pm storyline, or trying to.. and i found the first official cute j1!!! official as in, i diden know he existed before. hahaha. yes he's a vik. and yes he's poser. but hez so hot!!! haha. also, HL guy came back to watch storyline too! and he dyed his hair fire-brown and itz in sparse spikes.. so it looks like a calvin hairstyle [as in calvin & hobbes]. hehe. so cute.
yeah and tt shd be all.

today was the most horrible day of my life. killed my butt sitting here trying to do hw. almost went bald trying to do chem. maths was slightly better but power series isn't so reassuring to my hair either. i'm really pissed. i'm not sure whether with myself for not doing this last year or with syllabus-setters for giving such shitass problems.
i watched pretty woman again. i juz love the shopping scene. the one where she gets her back. also watched this ted bundy movie. itz reaaaalllly interesting.. for example, the term serial killer didn't exist until after ted bundy. wow. he started it all huh..
well ttz all for today. i'm really drained.

wahhh penat giler seyyy.. tapi acherli dari tadi aku cumer dudok kat sini je ah, type pegi type balek.. haha. ohyar. tadi lepas tgk si A2DC aku cam inspired sey. so yang aku type pegi type balek tu sebenarnye aku tgh carik the puisis yang dorang cakap2 dlm crite tu ah. hehe. dan... aku dah jumpe ketige-tigenye!! alrite man! lepas tu i finally gi buat si calendar bodoh tu ah. buat penat je sey. sebab in the end si bodoh nyer yahoo tu down ke apelah, takleh login. apeeee jeee.. den buat panic also ah. cam busy giler sey. pas tu aku blom blajar for sats lagie. nak mampoz gaknye. buang duit je sign up kan.. haiz.. oh Tuhan, dengarlah rayuan insan ini.. aku tanak dapat a horrible score plzzzz...
ohyah tadi yang aku gi carik2 tu.. aku jumpe beribu gambar nicholas saputra. so aku gi letak satu kat fone aku. woohoo! maaf, orang minyak.. kau terpakse take a break buat seketika. oh 'ah'ah. yang si anakmelayu.com, dier nyer word-of-the-day iz "wak lu" ah. abeh dier nyer sentence is cam "wak lu ah! muker macam orang minyak kau cakap hensem?" hahahahah. klakar giler eh? of cos, aku tak setuju langsong dengan sentence tak betol tu. aku nyer orang minyak hensem giler k, trim ban ban..
haiz. terpakse aku blah skarang. kene carik calculator ngan perm&comb tutorial/lec notes. konon cam hukuman ah, sebab niari aku tak buat sekentil homework pon.
oklah. jumpe besok.

hey. am watching ada apa dengan cinta again.. atau aku harus lari ke hutan, belok ke pantai.. trying to get sum inspiration to write the stupid sajak.. haha.. ok itz not stupid, itz just tt it will be if i'm the one writing it. also trying to avoid doing hw. alah. besok je buat eh.. haha. hm i'm still looking for cinta's shoes.. and ili's still looking for cinta's bag.. hahah. and of cos, i'm still looking for a nicholas saputra. heheh.
as we all know, yest was the first day of skl. it was the most slack skl day i've ever known. lotsa free periods, and no pe, and it all ended at 1230. ooh there was this interesting-looking ac guy, with longish blond-brown hair and a cekak. cute. heheh. tall too. den.. ohyah the tom yam instant noodles is not bad yar.. next time i'll bring my own cutlery. haha. den when i got home i made tom yam maggi and pandai2 taruk 3 chillies and makan with chopsticks. haha. i bought tanning lotion yest. yes another one. haha. the one i had didn't really seem to be working, so i got impatient. my last resort will be to find a bronzer. woohoo.
and to continue the spate of weird dreams involving guys, i dreamt abt isky laz night. now tt iz juz freaky.

had such a horrible nightmare last night. saw sya's fren kissing his masseuse. aarrghh. and i got all worked up and i wanted to kall sumone, haha..
went for lunch at airport terminal one swensen's with baba. i haven't had icecream cake for, i dunno, 7 years? or more.. and we shared fries and baked rice.. mm.. den we went to tampines.. some of the socks there were juz too irresistible.. haha. met sya in ice lemon tee and exchanged news.. haha. and met shafia too.. but i forgot to ask who else is going to rj.. and we met kak nadi also.
wow this is such an abridged entry. i'm juz kinda feeling low cos skl starts tmr.. doesn't seem too bad, though. civics and chem and pe and NO MALAY and gp i think. so not much lar.. but still. i haven't done an OUNCE of homework. and now i have to dig ard for my chem tutorial first so i kan acherli do it. but hey. maybe i could watch mona lisa smile tmr instead of monday.