had dinner at fish&co T2 with my sis/mum/brother and ellna just now, and the bartender, imran, was really cute! haha. but yeah he's old, maybe around 27. but really cute! with goatee and everything, and slightly pillarish. very friendly too, in an awad salim kinda way. haha. i SO wanna go back there.
i was watching the weekly the nanny marathon this afternoon. it's SO funny. i love niles. he's so wittily amusing. and C.C. was telling him, "Niles, you're a butler! Butle!" hilarious.
i'm feeling mildly depressed right now. i'm not sure why, but i think it's a case of the back-to-school blues. plus quitting. ah that was just terrible. i still feel the pain. oh AND i had this horrible horrible nightmare about--ok takper i'm not posting it here for fear of discovery. haha.

wow was the weather great today or what? i could hardly wake up, let alone get out of bed, with the glorious rain pouring down and making my bed exponentially more comfortable than it normally is. i finally dragged myself out of bed at around 1, so i could be in time to meet shafa later.
we ate at jason's as usual, then guess who we bumped into at the fourth floor lift landing? nicholas! as in tiup! ahh he still looks the same, all lost and bewildered. and the best part is he finally remembers me, without prompting. haha. great.
anyway after that we launched into full-blown shopping. or at least, i did. i have a pretty good haul. a long skirt in shades of blue and green from levelone, and FOUR new tops from topshop. coolness! i LOVE shopping.
hm then we went mat-watching at our usual place, and we also managed to catch the fireworks again. fun. and there were a couple of guys there who were talking in sign language, which made me think they were bisu, but shafa claims she heard voices. so. hmm. haha.
finally, i dropped by my [ex-]workplace to hand in my resignation letter. i wanted to shrivel up and die when i saw the expression on abg amin's face. i felt SO bad. but then i caught sight of lion and ching ching, and my resolve strengthened. so. i'm a free woman now. yay.

so guess what happened yest after i was done blogging? ex-con, that's what. he came online and asked me to send him some song, and then we started talking, woohoo! ah he's as cute as ever, and he kept changing his display pic so i got an entire slideshow of his photos, effectively. i even saw a couple in which he actually had hair. very cute. he also said something like, "dah lame tak nampak awk", which made me realise that i haven't seen him in 4 freaking months! omg. that's SUCH a long time. and yet i still like him and all that shit. 4 months. wow.
i would love to go into details of what was said last night, but i don't want to obsess over him, so this is where it ends. haha.
welcome tea was nice. i wish i wore something more sitting-on-the-floor-friendly, though. but anyway, raihan was there, of course, looking even more adorable than the last time, with his specs and new haircut. ahhhhh cutenyer. i kept glancing at him, he's SO comel! -dies- and ohyah new guy! new guy! new guy! haha. amy, baba and i met him as we were making our sorry way down to MPSH to get our notebooks. he was walking to the UCC, with his new notebook, and, just as i was thinking he was cute, he smiled, which crushed me for some reason cos i thought he knew baba or smthg. anyway, he asked us if we were from/going to the welcome tea, and he said he was on his way there, and THEN he told us to prepare for a long wait at the notebook collection centre cos he'd been waiting since 11, and it was like, what, 4-plus then? so aper nak buat, after some moments of deliberation, baba and i made our sorry way back. hahaha. but no biggie, the food was great and everything, and atikk, di, baba and i were being totally anti. we were also taking our time sampling practically every single thing on the buffet table. yeah tt shd be it. raihan rocks, woohoo!
ohyah. i forgot to document my train journey. firstly, john eber was in the train! he was in the 2-person seat, and i was across the doors from him, in my usual corner seat. it WAS him, it was really him, i swear! he lives in pasir ris, like other little-known hot guys e.g. samit! i can't believe it! i couldn't believe it. anyway he STILL didn't get off when i got off at BV, so i'm assuming he was going to like NTU or smthg. wow. maybe we'll take the train together again. he'll be a.. second-generation samit, if you will. haha. ape je. padahal he's older than samit. oh and secondly, there was this 2-year-old chinese boy in a mclaren stroller with the cutest mangkuk hair and huge eyes, who, to put it matter-of-factly, had a crush on me. no, really! i was just sitting there, minding my own beeswax, when he came in with his parents, and he started staring at me with those huge eyes, so i just smiled lah. and then he just kept staring, albeit intermittently. i think his parents were pissed, cos he was supposed to be lying down drinking his orange juice, but he kept sitting up to look at me. he even started imitating me at around aljunied. i kept yawning, i was so sleepy, and he watched me and then he covered his mouth too. then i crossed my legs, and he did that too. it was SO cute, but really kind of weird. there was this schoolboy standing between us [he was opposite me], and he actually leaned forward in his stroller to look at me. i think his parents hated me for like, keeping him awake and active, but hey, i didn't do anything! all i did was smile at him. and then when i finally got off, he actually turned around in his stroller to watch me. weirdness. if not for him, i could have concentrated fully on john eber. hopefully we'll meet again. haha.

ohyah almost forgot, renji came by with his sispec friends. haha. and he's officially the last NS guy i'll ever meet at work.

i'm in a really bad mood.
1. at work just now, i was yo-yoing between my two options: quitting or sticking it out. cos i just got my fountain training stuff today, and i've been looking forward to it and all. and abg amin has been really nice and everything. PLUS bun will still be working. BUT. there's still the fact tt i don't like working as much as i used to. i haven't counted down the hours for months, and suddenly i'm looking forward to knock-off time all over again. there has to be some reason why i don't enjoy working anymore, but even though i can't pinpoint it exactly, why torture myself? i know that future jobs may be worse than this--fussier bosses, bigger crowd, etc--but maybe i just need this break. i've been living with myself for 18 years, and if there's anything i've learnt about myself, it's that i need my downtime. and i had loads of that in JC--all my bio breaks, my early days, my movie mondays.. and now that i'm starting uni, i can't exactly have my downtime if i'm working weekends right? so. this is the way it goes, i guess. i'm really sad about all this, cos God only knows how much i love working there, and how much i'll miss certain people. i was so confident that i'd be able to continue working, but really, recent events have convinced me otherwise. well. maybe one day i'll come crawling back, and maybe they'll want to take me back.
2. and this bidding shit is pissing me off. the bid range is like, 1-389 or smthg. heLLO! what the hell am i supposed to bid then? and who has so many points that they can afford to put 300+ points on ONE module? kalau aku taruk bynk, takut nanti next sem dah tak cukup points plak.. den kalau aku taruk sikit sangat, nanti tak dapat module, terpakse reshuffle every damn thing. and cos of the tea session tmr, i can't participate in the close bidding, unless i lug a notebook around with me all over campus lah. ARGH.
3. and i wanna do smthg fun before school starts!!!!!!

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. ain
2. no-rain
3. norain (obviously)

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. eyes
2. a**. haha.
3. pierced navel?

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. stomach (fat)
2. thighs (fat)
3. nose (flat)

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. javanese (a grandma)
2. indian (her husband)
3. chinese (half each of the other grandparental set)

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. ghosts
2. creepy crawlies
3. and yes the afterlife, and the torture and comes with it

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. anti-acne stuffs
2. moisturiser
3. yakult. it's good for ur digestion.

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. 102 class tee
2. black fbts
3. getah rambut? i dunno....

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS:
1. McFly!!! i love u, harry!
2. Rooney
3. Jennifer Lopez (i just think she's cool)

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS:
1. Istimewa - Indigo
2. Dream A Little Dream of Me - The Mamas and the Papas
3. She Left Me - McFly

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. love
2. affection
3. someone to send me home on a bike

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in no particular order):
1. i'm watching tv now
2. i'm gonna marry daniel carter
3. at the age of 22

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. bedek blonde hair
2. pillarish build
3. tanned/dark complexion

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. dancing
2. lepaking
3. reading

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. see him again
2. snuggle under the covers
3. go tanning (even though it's 1247am!!!)

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING/YOU'VE CONSIDERED:
1. runway model (DON'T laugh!)
2. flight attendant a.k.a. air stewardess
3. CSI (i SAID don't laugh!)

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. NZ
2. Goa, India
3. the beaches of Spain

THREE KID'S NAMES YOU LIKE:
1. ishmael
2. iman almira
3. ayesha

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. get married
2. have 2 beautiful kids
3. run my own business

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY:
1. my room is a pigsty
2. love to eat
3. i'm loud (and who can disagree?)

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL:
1. i love boys
2. i like skirts
3. i'm a hopeless romantic

THREE CELEB CRUSHES:
1. Harry Judd (McFly)
2. Joel Madden
3. Jesse Metcalfe (Desperate Housewives)

THREE PEOPLE THAT I WOULD LIKE TO SEE TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW:
uhh.. i dunno.. i don't really read the answers anyway, so takpelah.

heyheyheyyy..
why am i so chirpy? entah. anyway as i'd predicted, i zoomed through matriculation as best as i could yest. it wasn't by choice anyway, cos i desperately needed to pee. i met lots of ppl i knew, but none of them were matriculating with me, unfortunately, so i had to occupy myself by ter-dengaring conversations btwn a group of guy prcs and a bunch of manjen girls. the most interesting person i spotted was this malay guy with shaggy hair, biggish build, and.. oh i dunno, he just resembles one of those bronzed 20-something beach mats i see all the time. didn't catch his name though, since i'm pekak and all.
hm. met up with the PsMS today, and hung out in filza and hana's hostel room. it's nicer than raffles hall, that's for sure. and it has this IKEA vibe--mainly cos they bought out the entire IKEA when they were decorating. haha. NO cute guys spotted, btw. except for the cute ITE mat on the train. anyway i went to work after that, it wasn't as bad as i thought it would be, and now i'm having second thoughts about quitting, since everyone seems more bearable now. but takpelah. oh bun came by just now, cos he was meeting azhar [whose last day was today, incidentally], and after hanging out for awhile, they walked past the front, and nadirah nudged me. i looked up to see them, and in mock rage, i kicked nadirah. unfortunately, they caught that act of aggression and sniggered, and i was left standing there, blushing to the tips of my toes. AAAAAAAAAARGH.
of course, to top it off, my mom went to bed before i could ask her for permission to go KL this weekend. double argh. i need time to convince her, and it's not exactly on my side right now.

guess who was on las vegas tonight?!?!?! michael buble! ahhhh.. so cute.
today's a day of guess-whos, really, cos guess who boarded the bus just as i was fretting about being late to meet baba? haha. haven't seen him in awhile, and coincidentally, i was just thinking about him last night or smthg. it was nice talking to him and yes, he's as cute as ever.
sneaked into the arts/law matric fair today, it was really packed. panas nak mampos. and i signed up for everything i'd ever want to sign up for, so i'm just gonna express my way out of there tmr. as best as i can, anyway. and then i'm gonna sign up for the cool DBS NUS card. yays. i LOOOOOOVE cards. i've handled so many of them since becoming cashier--i especially love the oddly-shaped titanium card, this pretty flower-covered card, and the UOB visa and debit minis.. but i'm totally against credit cards, cos i don't want to turn into a Becky Bloomwood, so debit cards are just right. can't wait to receive it! i think i might just go out and celebrate with a mini-shopping spree or smthg. hahaha.
and i also selected my notebook. or rather, i thrust a sheaf of notebook pamphlets at my dad and waited for him to choose one. i'm getting the Fujitsu LifeBook S7020, btw. can't wait to receive this, too! and this time i'll celebrate by spending a whole day with it at home [cos i have starhub wireless broadband or whatever it's called].
after the whole matric fair thingy, baba and i took a break at the YIH canteen, then in her hostel room, then we waited for about 2649372 years for a 95 to come and allow us to board, THEN, out of desperation, we cabbed to clementi and took a train from there. and we bumped into kaks faridah and shahisdah, how cool! [there were also a couple of cute guys who made the over-delayed meal even more yummy.] then it turned out we all had the same idea of going for ice-cream at swensen's, so we went there next, and finally, senak nak mampos, we went home. and btw, kak faridah totally shot down ALL the guys i told her about [including raihan and jack]!!! i was just SO sad.. haha.

i was, as i told hannan, in a bad mood today. aderlah sebab2 tertentu. haha. anyway, i basically spent it bumming around the house, which i found extremely objectionable, cos i had so many plans at first. plans which fell apart one by one, unfortunately. but it wasn't all bad--a long-awaited sms finally came in, and i've been considerably less moody since.
but aaargh i had another of my ex-con dreams last night, HOW unsettling!

i reached home at around midnight to a bolted door, AGAIN. this is so fucking annoying. the door to my room was open, i was obviously not in it, so what is the deal here? did they suddenly forget that i exist? tak puas hati sey.
anyway other than that, i had quite a nice day. mat-watching with shafa, and then i joined the class at lido for some more bumming around. ohyes and i dropped by work before going to meet shafa, and hung out with them for awhile. was having a good time till ching ching decided to butt in. everyone else [i.e. everyone else from TCL] just ignored me, which is what she should have been doing. cow.
i was so lazy today, i watched bride & prejudice for the gazillionth time [but this time on dvd]. so sweet. i almost cried this time. anyway this was one of the songs. very nice.
Can you, can you, can you, can you

[chorus]
Can you touch my body
Make me feel like I never felt
Deliver it, make me shiver from head to toe
Move my waistline side to side
Come and push up on me
I'm feeling hot tonight [2x]

What I gotta do to get a little closer to you (to you)
I've been watchin' you, I really wanna get to know you (know you)
I'm kinda feelin' your vibe as I look in your eyes
And you're watchin' my thighs movin' left to right
So what you wanna do (wanna do)
You come to me and I'll come to you

[chorus 2x]

If I could be alone with you
This is what I would do (I would do)
I would grab you by the hand and begin to show you (show you)
How to make it real hot, never want it to stop
Take it up to the top, make my body rock
So what you gonna do (gonna do)
You come to me and I'll come to you

[chorus 2x]

Now can ya rock it up rock it up, don't stop
Just move ya waistline from side to side
Now watch ya push it up, push it up and do ya body right
Do ya body right, do ya body right
[2x]

[chorus 2x]

Can you, can you, can you, can you

i had a just-bearable 12-5 today. haha. nadirah was helping me count down the hours. ooh and the john-eber-lookalike walked past again, i've now come to the welcome conclusion that he lives in pasir ris. yay.
after work i ate at magic wok with shasha, then i went back down and waited for nores and jess, and hung out with them till 930. haha. takder kerje betul. but it wasn't a total loss. i got to watch bun working and stuff. i guess that no matter what i tell myself or other people, i can't just stop liking him so easily.

i actually had a terrific day at work today. surprise, surprise right? haha.
it started when i was walking from the bus stop, and i thought i saw eric from a distance, but i couldn't believe my eyes, and started rubbing them vigorously to make sure i wasn't mistaken. yet i couldn't stop a smile spreading itself across my face. and it really was him! and he was night MOD, i was SO happy like you wouldn't believe! haha.
and then, of course, bun arrived for work at 6, and the day just got that much brighter. without azhar around, he doesn't seem to feel the need to prove that he doesn't like me, so things were much easier. and nadirah was working too, so the three of us had loads of fun laughing at stella and stuff.
finally, guess who boarded my bus home? the cute-but-formerly-mop-haired security guard! he's friggin cool man. all tall and fair and bad-boy-ish. loves it!
and then i reached home to find that the door was bolted. what the hell rite? it wasn't even midnight. of course, since my sister is on one of her rare home visits, they conveniently forget that they have another daughter.

ah..
had a great day. admittedly, i spent practically all of it lepaking. but who cares? i was hanging out with nores, fidah, hannan and umar. [and jess and ah-ee for awhile.] sebenarnye we were at orchard, but jess wanted to meet us at WS, so we went all the way back. anyway takpe, we hung out at TM starbucks and ate and drank and talked and smoked [well, some of us smoked]. and i took the opportunity to people-watch too, it was great. we spent so much time and money there, that when kak nores went in to ask for plain water, they gave it to us in 2 starbucks mugs [while everyone else got the flimsy plastic cups]. haha. but hannan sed we have to find somewhere less ex than starbucks next time.
argh it's back to work tmr. can't wait to quit.

i need a new job. i spent most of the time at work tadie, counting down the hours till i could finally go home. and then abg rahim called. and i happened to be answering the phone. i wanted to cry.
i'm sorely kicking myself for not bringing a camera to camp. my only excuse is, they didn't put it down in the packlist!!! haha.
well. it's an off day tmr. yay.

so i finished harry potter and the half-blood prince. and i'm ever so sad about how things have turned out. ohyes warning: spoilers ahead. anyway, i must admit that i was kinda rushing through the part leading to dumbledore's murder, cos i was on my break then, and i was eating at the same time and everything. i. am. SO. sad! seriously. now dumbledore's dead, it's like nothing else matters anymore. it's like there's nothing to live for. it's like hope just died along with him. and i can't believe he died at the hands of snape, when voldemort himself is afraid of him. i never really believed that snape was on the good side, but i didn't think he'd actually stoop to killing dumbledore, when he's given him so many chances and believed in him so deeply. and speaking of snape, i was making a few guesses as to who the half-blood prince could be, but he never crossed my mind. weird. and by the way, who's scrimgeour? i know i've come across his name in one of the earlier books, but i can't remember the context. oh, and doesn't the part where harry breaks up with ginny remind you forcibly of the last scene in spider-man? haha. all the little love sub-plots are so annoying sometimes. i kept thinking, "just tell him/her you like him/her already!" it'd save us all the trouble. and i KNEW, i just KNEW, that ron and hermione liked each other. the chemistry between them just leaps out of the pages. oh but ugh, malfoy and pansy parkinson? gross. too bad there aren't any pretty slytherin girls for him to hook up with. and haha, i'd always thought blaise zabini was a girl. bodoh. eh, doesn't slytherin only take in pure-bloods? i know riddle got in cos he's slytherin's heir, but how about snape? maybe he's somehow descended from slytherin too..
anyway, sad as i am about dumbledore's untimely passing [yet, "death is but the next great adventure"], and as tak-puas-hati as i feel about this latest turn of events, i'm still gonna get the final book, cos i just HAVE to find out how it ends. and who the HELL is R.A.B?!?!?! omg. omg. OMG! i've just figured it out! right here, right now! it HAS to be Regulus Black! he even addresses the note to "the Dark Lord", and only death eaters refer to him as that. ok i've just checked book 5 and the stupid family tree states his name as "Regulus Black" je, so i dunno where the "A" came from, so it might not be him. darn. but it COULD be! oh and just wondering, how will the next book be written, if harry's not planning to return to hogwarts? i mean, so it'll just follow him all around england and the world, looking for the horcruxes? i hope ginny joins him, btw. i find her ever-changing hookups extremely annoying, but you know--at least she went back to the original.
okay that's enough of harry potter for now. i actually went to sleep at six-freaking-A.M. smalam cos i was too drawn into the book to tido. as a result, i woke up late [1100], so i had to rush and skip breakfast [!!!!!!] just so i could get to work 15 minutes late. but hey, it wasn't a total loss, cos i bumped into MDM outside the mrt station, and he smiled at me. ahhhhh..

haha. since amy recommended my blog as the one with the boy details, i shall add some more.
there was also atikk's bf, so named cos they were wearing the same thing on day 0. haha. he kept filming in our direction, how annoying! and then he even filmed our merepek newspaper headlines. buat malu sey. after a couple of days i finally conceded that he's quite cute la. haha.
atikk's bf was accompliced [is that a word?] by omar mubarak. haha. actually, that's his only claim to fame, so takpelah.
then there was hang jebat/johnny-depp-wannabe. haha. we were so annoyed by his actionness, funn-ay.
hm and tt concludes my camp snippets for today.
wow. yesterday's CCD was cute nak mampos. the best part was that i couldn't tell what race he was. he's either manjen or malay. and he was wearing a black polo with "mohawk" embossed on the front. at first he was just hovering around the entrance, and i was hovering around the hosting area, telling shasha how cute i thought he was. a few times he made as if to go in, tapi tak masuk2. finally he and his vik friend took the escalator upstairs, so i was like, "sigh, goodbye cute guy." imagine my utter amazement when he walked in about 15 minutes later! i was at the fountain area then, and when i saw him, i slumped weakly against the sink. haha. bodoh. according to umar, my face was all red too. anyway, i got to take his order and everything, and i was so oddly self-conscious, i felt like i was gonna trip over nothing and fall flat on my face, or drop my order pad into his ice-water or smthg! ah he's so cute, and all pillarish. i love pillars. tapi dier makan budget ah, calamari, SOD and a cookie summit with extra toppings. i wanted to give him a discount [just because he's so darn cute], but stupid MOD tak kasi. ape nak buat. anyway his vik fren blanjaed him, and then they tipped 50 cents. [which of course i kept, if only to remember him by.]
jessica's party yest was really fun. i finished work at 5, so i hung out at work with diana, until shasha came with her husband at ard 730. then we took a cab there, pasal malas nak naik bas and malas nak jalan. at first we thought we got the wrong room, cos it was manjens left and right. and then finally they got the idea and called, "shuxian!!!" so i added, "shuxian, ni de pengyou lai lo!" which made everyone laugh. bodoh. anyway, we hung out, ate abit, drank abit, cut the cake and took photos and stuff.. i must say, the otak-otak was first-class! haha. practically everyone was there, the kitchen staff including wenxing came [and brought their own beer, haha]!!! and then when the night-shift people came [azhar, farhan, hannan, stella], the real fun started. we went to an unoccupied room and hung out there, talking and playing cards. i was not too bad, considering my lack of practice. haha. farhan and azhar treated me like their personal dayang, asking me to refill their cups and get them food and shit. but you know me. tak pernah cakap no punye.. well, the relatives finally tapered out, so we went back to the original room, and just hung out there, enjoying kak nores' company. shasha and i were also checking out the cute mats walking past. and there were loads. cos there was some huge gathering going on at one of the nearby rooms. bes sey. i love mat-watching. anyway, it started getting late, so everyone left, one by one, until it was just jess, ah-ee, jessica's fren whose name i didn't catch, ah-boy, nores, me, hannan, azhar and farhan. i was really okay with leaving at any time, so when farhan finally decided to leave at around 4, we slowly pulled ourselves together, and shared a cab home. haha. i think the bun situation is improving--only ah-boy suans me about him now.
anyway, last night we were formulating plans to quit together and shit, cos WS is going to the dogs. so i wasn't looking forward to work today or anything. well, i arrived at work, on time as usual. and after punching my card and putting on my shoes, i joined shasha at table 44. then ching ching came out and said, "you free tak?" i was expecting her to ask me to do smthg merapek like sweeping the alfresco area or tidying up some other place, but then she asked me if i cld go to tampines. so guess what. i spent tadi's shift at tampines central instead of white sands. on the train i was just so freaked out, i had absolutely no emotional preparation for this, and i had to go into unchartered territory alone, with no fellow colleagues?!?!?! at that point i would have welcomed even azhar, or even stella, asalkan it's someone i know, but i wasn't that lucky. well for what it was worth, i had quite an okay time ah. i finally appreciate the real meaning of "busy", and in some ways it's kinda easier working at TCL than WS. for one, when you take an order, you just have to key it in. takyah kasi setting, takyah buat air, you're basically just free. so that was great. oh and the dishwashers are much nicer, and hands-on, so there's less of that shuttling back-and-forth with trays of annoying heavy plates. and there are so many malays, like wow man. so it's easy to talk to them. and then there was fairuz. haha. i had to suffer the mortal embarrassment of slipping and falling, hard, in front of him. luckily he was the only witness. or is that unluckily? he was all worried: "eh, okay tak? are u sure u're okay? tu jatuh serious tu.." and though i brushed it off for pride's sake, he was right. i now have this stupid scratch on my right forearm, from the sharp table corner. and then after that he kept laughing at me for my stupid comments: "ni mop air buang kat mana? kat longkang eh?" and every time he saw me after that, he couldn't stop himself from laughing. haha. but u know, he's nice. yay. so that was my first day at tampines. it's all good.

i was thinking about camp, and i remembered one DEFINITE downer. we were looking for the stupid dragonboat station, and we ended up at what i assume to be the secondary SDBA headquarters. it was completely devoid of people, even though the gates were wide open. so we thought we'd look around, just in case. we'd been looking around for 5 minutes when this heeeuuuge dog just bounded out of some kayaks, barking away. omg. i almost had a heart attack right there. [i didn't.] instead i just grabbed fazli's arm as we made our "jangan-lari-nanti-dier-kejar" walk out of that cursed place.
well. that was camp snippet of the day. haha. anyway i got to work today, in good spirits, and suddenly everything was different. skarang macam dah takde mood nak work sey. and i was so looking forward to this as a sort of permanent job. everyone's leaving or gone. it's like, where is my motivation?! and i'm not talking ex-con here. i'm talking about everyone else who's meant anything to me. kak nores, mr rahim, wenxing.. it's just so sad. and poor diana was so not into it today, she made a billion mistakes, macam dier nyer first day plak. all i can say is, naseb baik jeslyn was working today. or i wouldn't have survived.
it's jessica's party tmr. i wonder what it'll be like, with all this hanging over us.

fun fact of the day: throughout the 3-day-3-night camp i just came back from, i've had approximately 11 hours of sleep. max. so this'll be short, and the panjanger parts will come soon.
so yay it was a blast! quoting from my PPG notebook entry, "it definitely was not without its downs". but other than that, it was SO much fun.
highlights include the dinner function at marina promenade, winning best team (!!!) and the after-dinner at fong seng. [more accurately, the prata shop, where we were also joined by a couple of other facis AND jack. -cairs-] and of course, this wouldn't be an ain entry if i didn't mention the boys. hahaha.
anyway disclaimer here before i jump into anything. no real names when i'm gushing, of course. so for example, the guy i'm cairing over a few lines above is not really called jack. haha. so basically what i'm trying to say is, any names that sound familiar or shit, are purely coincidental.
okaylah since i already mentioned jack i shall start with him. he's SO universally handsome! big exotic-brown eyes and strong features, and kinda quietly-nice.
and speaking of quietly-nice, there was baik guy, who's just that! like, he just exudes baik vibes within a kilometre of wherever he is. such that whenever he's around, you'll [or more accurately, baba and i] feel like you're the biggest sinner on the planet. haha. but he's also very smart and he kept on dropping by my group, like contributing to our discussions or playing games with us.
then there's my personal favourite, raihan. his real name's actually very nice, but of course i can't document it here. so anyway, first time i saw him, i was like omg. he's so cool. he's all smiley and jovial and all pillarish with thick floppy hair and he looks like a combination of khairuddin samsudin and a friend of mine. and he's so friendly, i didn't get him as my i/c or faci or anything, but he still came by and talked to my group sometimes, and last night at marina promenade, when he came by my group and asked my name, i almost fainted. haha. okay fine so he was trying to teach me how black magic works, but he asked my name!!! totally unnecessary pe.. ah cute.
oh and then there was kashbir. kashbir is like, a muslim version of samit. the first time i saw him was on the second day [tuesday afternoon], and i did a double-take cos he was the spitting image of another friend of mine. i mati� thot it was him for awhile, before i rationalized that it couldn't possibly be him. haha. so yeah, he looks like samit plus that friend of mine, so basically it's like all samit's sharp features have been sandpapered down a little. and i love the way he talks, it's so deliberate. it's like everything about him is deliberate--the way he walks, talks, even prays. and how cool of him to wear long-sleeved stuffs on a hot afternoon. AND he prays regularly. excellent. haha. i suppose the only problem was that every time i got the chance to see him, i was in an ugly, flustered and basically unglamorous state. tak fair sey.
but then again, takpelah. the girl:guy ratio is atrocious. even if i were in some sort of "glamorous" state, nak katakan, why would they look twice at me kan? there were a billion more girls to look at pe.
dahlahdahlah aku nak tido.

ah. yest was better. even though shasha was working, they put me as cashier--for fear of a relapse, i suppose. so it was all good. oh and during briefing half of us were bawling away, cos we were marking kak nores' last day. sigh. i really have nothing to say about that. i'm gonna miss her so badly, and i'm not the only one of course. at first i wasn't crying, but i dunno, in the last 5 minutes of her speech i just dissolved. teruk sey. luckily my eyeliner didn't run. and on the other side, the guys--hannan, azhar and bun--were making stupid comments and jokes. boys will be boys.
well. look at the time. i still haven't packed OR mandied. see y'all in 4 days.

so i just had the worst day of my life.
okay, no, but for a moment there i really believed the world was out to get me.
see, i was having horrible cramps today. but other than that, everything seemed great cos everyone was working--me, hannan, liyana, diana, azhar, jeslyn, and of course bun. plus i was cashier. like i said a billion times before, LOVE being cashier. so i was all set for a good day at work. then the cramps started getting worse. the magnitude of which would have had me screaming and writhing in my bed at home. and that's not all! in the process of hammering a large block of dry ice, i pounded my own thumb instead. i had no idea the extent of the damage then, since it was still encased in the glove. but when i was done packing the cake, i pulled off the glove, expecting maybe a simple bruise but NO--it was bleeding. i was so shocked. and that's still not the end of the story. the cramps got dramatically worse. i got the chills, and my face was turned pale. so i escaped to the storeroom for a quick sit-down, but i felt SO cold and shivery inside, i had to come back out. then there was a cake to pack, and i was SO not receptive/friendly/whatever. i packed the cake in slow silence, and while i was counting the candles [thankfully just one], i started seeing double. that was really the last straw. the moment i was done with that cake, i asked to leave. collapsed for a few minutes in the storeroom, before the biting cold forced me to get myself together, and i took my pain outside. rafidah, nores and fizah were still there, so i just hung with them. by then i was in a cold sweat, and futilely punching my abdomen area in an effort to ease the pain. and ugh i caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror later, i was all yellow [i.e. pale]!!! it was horrible. i looked like the walking dead, in addition to feeling like one. anyway i sat with them awhile, talking my pain away, until finally i felt well enough to take the bus home. know what's the worst part? okay, the second worst part first. bun didn't even show an ounce of concern for me, even though i'd stumbled past him on my way out. he just deftly elaked. and the worst part was that my parents didn't even notice i was home from work early, didn't even ask me about it. wow. such parental concern. you know what they asked me about instead? they asked me, AGAIN, why i didn't go for the APC tests.
anyway sorry to spew all this here, but i had to unload it somewhere. it was really horrible. i've never felt such pain before. it's not like i have anything to show for it [i.e. battle scars].
anyway i got home and watched some of the pacifier and all of hide and seek, which i think sucks, but is in the vein of what lies beneath and God i hate those kinda movies! oh i also watched madagascar before work, it's really cute. david schwimmer is SO ross-ly funny.

ohyah forgot to add. we bumped into tommy starbucks outside tangs, on our way to far east. and moments before that i'd been considering dropping by starbucks to see him again, just cos i haven't seen him in a long time. he's DEFINITELY less cute than when i first saw him. he used to be all fresh and bright, but now he looks kinda drug-addictish. ohwell. i guess i was bound to grow out of that one sometime. too bad i spent so many brain cells crushing on him.

SO tired.
it was back to the beach again for me and sya today. we were pretty late, around 2pm or so, but it was quite deserted, being a school afternoon and all. we took the same bus in as shuhail, he's so cute but he doesn't sound like i expected him to. haha. anyway it was good tanning, strong sun, minimal clouds, and very very peaceful i.e. no yapping canines. i just love bumming at the beach, it's great. oh ugh there was this blonde-and-goateed malay guy at cool deck, who had the nerve to say "bye" to us while his gf was busy rummaging around in her bag. get. a. grip.
then we went to jason's for sustenance, where the guy remembered my usual order, STILL! haha. and then i went crazy, shopping around at mango, forever 21 and even popular. lotsa fun. very tiring. so it's off to bed for me. soon. haha.
i find that i'm not so excited about it anymore. why is that, i wonder? i'm not sure, but i just know that i'll be going with a masam face and really horrible expectations of what's to come. and wishing that i was at work instead. argh. maybe i should NEVER have started working.

so i watched fantastic four today with baba at causeway point. i love causeway point. it has practically everything--shops, cinema, young mats, ite mats and viks! haha. anyway, the movie was great! i love jessica alba, she's so pretty, and wow all the guys are cute. i've loved julian mcmahon since he made his appearance on charmed as cole/belthazor/the source [sorry, i'm a big charmed fan], and ALL the male members of fantastic four are SO cute! i mean, even ben grimm is cute, when he's not orange rocky road. haha. and i seriously can't decide if i like the sedately-suave reed richards, or wisecrackingly-hot johnny storm, better. haha. great GREAT movie, with the promise of a sequel. oh but you know, when i mean "great", it means that i liked it, and i like movies like honey, the stepford wives, and ella enchanted, so just be warned. but also be warned that johnny storm is hot in more ways than one!!! supernova!
i had this weird dream last night involving me transferring to tampines, along with like half the staff of WS, and hafizah stealing my shoes while i walked around barefoot. i also flirted with lucaz, baba's ex-colleague from J8. "weird" doesn't begin to describe that dream, really.
THEN i jolted myself awake, cos my arm was in this awkward dangling-off-my-bed position, pinned down by my bolster and comforter, and it was hurting me. i checked the time, it was only 4 a.m., which meant i'd been sleeping for maybe an hour!!! so i just lay there for a few minutes, stoning, and then my phone beeps! at 4-freaking-A.M.! but all is well, cos i know who that's from, and i've been expecting it, so isn't that cool? anyway my point here is that i found it amazing that i tersadar moments before i received an all-important message, and i hope it happens again. haha.
oh i just remembered this way-cool scene from the movie. so johnny is at this dirt bike competition, and the announcer coaxes him to do a way-cool, way-out trick. so he swings himself totally off the bike, loses control, and turns into his human torch form, and flies for the first time, and at the same time, the chorus of on fire booms out very cornily. but WAAAAAY cool.

...budak ite pon tak nak suke budak uni, ape nak buat?...

two things to talk about, generally.
1. the excellent customer service i provide. [provided i like you. haha.] there were these 2 caucasian guys who came in the other night. i pride myself on liking gelaper people, so it was much to my consternation that i actually found one of them cute. haha. anyway. that's not the point. the other guy [the one i DIDN'T find cute], directed that a $2.50 tip be passed to me. wow. and i was flattered and amazed, cos i didn't even take their order or anything, i just happened to serve their drinks and clear some of their dishes and refill their ice-water [they drink like fish]. so. WAY cool. and the great thing was, he came by again tadi!!! at first i didn't realise, cos he was with a different companion, but well, i kinda-sorta rem what he looks like. so i was like grinning in amusement--i mean, he had such an enjoyable time last night that he HAD to come back the next day? coolness.
2. the sad realisation that i mean less than nothing to bun. it's really. REALLY sad to watch him checking out some sweet-looking, fair-skinned, petite girl, or that butt-cleavage swank salesgirl, or basically, girls who'll never be classified under the same heading as me. i was thinking the other night, jealousy must be the most painful emotion. oh this is so annoying, and people keep insisting on suaning me about him, with him within earshot!!! fucking embarrassing. it was about the same with ex-con, actually, but AT LEAST ex-con didn't feel the need to avoid me like the fucking plague. like just now, bun was like, "ma'am, saya balik dulu eh.. bapak saya nak ambik ah.." rafidah asked him, "betul bapak kau amik?" and he laughed. whatever. takyah bohong ah. tak suka means tak suka, and i got it, man. and THEN, filza came by, so i went off early with her, and where was bun, who'd wanted to "balik dulu"? still sitting there, waiting for the rest. HOW is this fair, how?
oh one more thing. 5 july 2005, 0150hrs, SotB. just so i don't forget what all this shit has driven me to do.

oh forgot to mention. i dropped by hmv and got one of the things on my July budget: the PLP CD. i loved Blow so much, i just had to get it. [plus it's undownloadable, so i didn't really have a choice. haha.]
and i calculated my budget for this month, it's less than 400 bucks! so i can prolly have that shopping spree after all! yay.

the past 24 hours were so great for me, that i don't know how to fully express my gratitude to God and the cogs of fate.
firstly, after work yest we [wan ing, crystal, rafidah, diana, eric, nores and I!] arranged to go off for supper at the 24hrs coffeeshop/foodcourt/whatever-you-call-them-these-days. it was so cool. we closed in record time, and tapaued the ice-cream we made diana scoop for us. and ate it, while running, on the way to the int. and it was just so cool, we sat there, talking and laughing and exchanging accounts of our work-related nightmares, family issues and shit. and on the side, i opened my eyes to a phenomenon-of-sorts, which i've been pretty much blind to for the past 18 years. i know so-called muslims drink and all, but i never realised that they do it in bright lighting as well. there were tables and tables of all these malay guys with bloodshot eyes, with mugs and buckets of ice and bottles of tiger beer, carlsberg, or stout or whatever shit it is that they drink. and the saddest part? some of them are cute!!!!!!! -wails- haha. that's just like me, right? to wail about cute drinking guys.
so today was my off day, and i got to go out! yay! haha. went out with amir, we watched In My Father's Den, which is an unassuming movie, but very disturbing and great storyline which did NOT lose my attention for a second, not like those artsy movies they like to make these days. but banyak partial nudity sial. was it M18? i didn't really know. haha. and we watched it in the cool preview theatre at cine. nice.
anyway that was not the greatest part. the great part was.. okay i'll start from the beginning. i met amir at the top floor of the heeren, and we made our way down, level by level. and at the second floor, we were about to turun, when i saw this familiar figure who'd just reached the second floor from the opp escalator. and i was like, hey it's azhar. so i wanted to say hi ah. i thought he was alone at first, then i saw that there was another guy with him, so i gave the other guy another glance and yes, it WAS bun. haha. they didn't see me at first, just continued walking into Flash 'N' Splash, so i said, "yo!" and azhar turned and he was all shocked and said, "kau tak kerje?" it took a few more seconds before bun turned around and realised i was there. sigh. we didn't talk much, but.. it was nice seeing him, after a week, when i least expected to.
i met fana too, at far east. that was nice. i hadn't seen her since months ago, when we met for lunch at pizza hut, kamie's ex-workplace. haha. oh amir and i had lunch at jason's, and the guy [not jason] recognised me, and as i opened my mouth to order, he interjected, "nasi goreng kampung, tanak sayur?" isn't that cool? i'm an official regular now!!!
and when i finally reached pasir ris, i dropped by work, just to see bun again. i was talking to diana cos she was cashier. and azhar was doing fountain, and i THINK he gestured to bun to come to the fountain area, cos his face appeared and when he saw me, he was like, "alah kau lagi.." and i SWEAR he knows, cos azhar said something cryptic about seeing me again, and shouldn't bun do something about it? and if he didn't know, NOW he does, cos next, rafidah came in and said loudly, "kau datang carik [bun] eh?" and azhar was still standing there, plain as day. oh the range of colours my face flashed, it was better than a diorama any day. and THEN, to complicate matters further, fadhila turned up. [all the guys like her.] i would have laughed hysterically if i'd had the energy to. instead i rounded off the day by eating our takeaway ice-cream while walking home with her.