i watched keeping the faith last night. it sure brought back memories, all of them pleasant. and feelings, sum of them unpleasant. yeah. acherli, the movie isn't that great. it's not excellent, it's not terrific, it's not THAT sweet. but i still watched it for a second time. why? cos im stupid, duh. but the one thing that really strikes me in the movie is not the fact that 2 guys can be in love with the same girl, and they still remain a happy threesome with a happy couple within.. the thing is, the 2 guys can still remain friends after realising that they both love the same girl, and that one of them has already gotten her while the other can NEVER get her. they can still remain friends! the BEST of friends! isn't that amazing? it really tugs at you. and it really made me wish i had that kind of friendship.
and i watched a walk to remember today. i would like to announce, for the record, that i diden cry. i loved it, though. [might watch it again, before i return it to kamie..] plus, shane west looks like marie in the locker scene.. wahahah..
bye now.

hey. i haf great news and worrying news.
great news: i got an a1 for english. a moderately high a1, if i do say so myself. 31/40 for orals, 55/60 for paper 1, comprising 38 marks for part one and 17 marks for part two, and 37/50 for paper 2. yeah. that makes about roughly 81.9%--my a1. my second a1. [the first was malay] at least i now haf 2 1s to bank on. that leaves room for more 3s, 4s and 5s.
worrying news: that was an exceptionally high mark for paper 1. memandangkan the fact that i diden really plan part 2.. and that i was really rushing part 1. as a result, i do not trust that i will get nearly as high in the o's. so yah the worrying news is what WILL i get then?
saw train lim this morning, and a spongy mimlim at the orchard bus stop. taz then.

ohnoo.. i forgot to put in my opendiary that donovan came in with a chinese fren!!! he just finished playing bball.. and i was soooo shocked and happy to see him that i called out donovan until he turned and i waved at him! haha. dumb of me, i know. but typically me as well.

im in a good mood now, world! so dun do anything to spoil it. ohyah forgot to add in my diary that i saw hirman! without glasses! hehe. interesting sight. and i saw pantai. yah. and i feel so "popular" cos about a thousand ppl sed bye to me as i left mac's jenow.. hehe. i love having frens. it's absolutely wonderful. and having many DIFFERENT kinds of friends.. that's even better.. like nuraini.. the kcpps boys.. donovan and frens.. the ij gerl.. stuff liddat.. fun rite?

heylo. happy birthday raudhah. [not that you come here to read this or anything.. it's just that redhuan told me just now..]
1. kcpps boys were there today.. sho cute!!! now i know all their names except the small one.. the kurap one is wei ming.. and dat one.. de dat one.. is guo liang.. haha..
2. to add to my happiness, donovan, muksin and gadafi also came.. and harry.. and...
3. no beer!!! heheh. fana kalls her burp, and im gonna recommend "big" for baba to kall her. yeah. but rambut was dere.. but no screw or anything.. and i had a great time at the playground, what with the "filming" of trauma and all.. haha
k then bye.

forgot to mention. watched coyote ugly yesterday. it's GREAT! piper perabo looks like a grown up olsen twin. seriously. ok bye.

hey! guess what? today that sec 2 ij girl came again ah, as usual.. she smiled at me.. and i smiled back.. and when she was leaving, she waved and sed bye! one more new friend to add to my list of bishan friends. haha.

today the greatest thing happened. no, really.
fana and i hung out at the bishan playground today.. then we went back inside a few times ah.. and discovered that marie was dere.. as in, outside ah.. and then wan sze came.. and yah.. all dat crap.. den beast came.. den tua.. anyway then fana and i went toilet and the 2 of them happened to go toilet also.. they diden whatever us, which was a good sign.. den when we went back out, they were at the playground. marie, wan sze, beast, tua and viknesh white cap. anyway, fine so we decided to go on the rockers on the other playground ah. then after sum time nuraini came up to me and stood there ah. and i looked at her. dun remember what she sed exactly, but she asked my name so i sed "norain" lah..
then she asked,"do you like my friend?"
and i was like,"huh?" cos i was damn shocked ah, that she acherli asked me. i assumed she meant marie, although later fana told me that she thought she was talking about aishah. so up till now i still dunno, but i have a strong feeling it's marie. den i continued,"um, no.." [hey it's the truth! i stopped sum time ago.. although i still retain a kind of loyalty ah..]
den nuraini was like,"oh.. cos my fren told me.." and right here i was thinking, what friend? did aishah tell her? anyway den she walked back to her friends ah..
i dunno why, but i called out to her,"sorry!" and she turned around. so i clarified,"for making you think that.." and she just smiled ah and walked away..
later when fana and i were inside, she came in to go toilet and i smiled at her. guess what? she smiled back. so i guess she's ok with us now. i hope so. i'd still like to be friends.

today was uneventful. but filled with people. but luckily fate decided to stagger their guest appearances or i would have been completely unhinged.
our kcpps friends were there.. all of them, i think. they're all really friendly and crazy.. and when i was left alone there, they all talked to me as if we were old friends.. and later.. the cutest one came in alone [they all went playground] and packed his stuff and got ready to leave ah.. then he sed bye to me, then he sed i dropped something, and he helped me pick it up. it was my nametag!! and he bothered to pick it up, even though i could have done it cos i was nearer to it!! so yah. he's really nice. plus, he was the only one studying just now.. ohyah and now they all know my name.. and baba's and fana's too.. haha..
beast, tua and mim were there too.. at first they sat inside.. at a table facing us.. but i wasn't too skared--i just smiled at nuraini, who smirked ah. i told fana she'd make a good lim, and im serious about that. tua was listening to her discman.. she happens to burn her songs on the same kind of cds as me. haha.. oh and she cut her hair. mim was being totally extra, and nuraini was, of cos, being herself.. afterwards they went and sat outside.. but they did come in individually alot.. to go toilet ah.. and white cap viknesh came in alot also.. which he normally doesn't do.. and once i happened to masuk toilet when tua was inside.. but she diden do anything, so i assume they're dormant or perhaps even extinct for now.
anyway it was like, 6-plus.. and i was doing bio.. and three of the kcpps boys were still there, being crazy and stuff.. and like, i saw this person ah, walking with a kcpss gerl along that aisle. i was like,"wow cute guy!" skali i realised it was marie. haha. no i diden go home with them. they took a long time in the toilet, and they disappeared somewhere, presumably to berasmara dana.. haha.
yeah. that's it. bye.

i had a nice day yesterday.
1. fila lim was on the bus!!
2. MRT and his fren came at 8-plus and 9-plus respectively.. and "sipei" came at 11-plus. and erm.. hm dunno who else lah. i did 2 chem prelim papers.. and for both paper 1s, i got 36 out of forty. not good enough, seeing i got 19.5 out of 30 for section b, paper 2. so yah. i muz get full marks for paper 1.
3. jack was dere too.. and besar's gang.. ee.. and sonia and cantik came.. umm.. yah.
so basically it was a great, relaxed day for me.
then.
i just HAD to watch the last episode of ally mcbeal. the series finale. the series finale.. everytime it went to an advertisement, they'd play the opening strains of "i want love" with those random shots from the show. and everytime that happened, my heart was slowly being ripped out. im not being melodramatic. it's true. it's like, ally has always been a part of my life. and cos she's so neurotic and stuff, i can identify with her alot. of course, life goes [or went] alot better for her, especially her love life. but that's the point, see. since my life can't go that way, i just content myself with seeing sumone i can identify with leading the kind of life i'd like to have. and yesterday was like the most painful episode. with lots and lots of billy and all. i think the scriptwriters are great. they never lose their focus. i mean, georgia has an anak, rite.. but that diden come in at all. and maddie simply played a pivotal role in the entire season, but she wasn't a key character or anything. and they diden focus on billy's death, but more like his omnipresence after his departure. AND [i only realised this after the show] they diden bring in ling at all yesterday. good choice, cos she would have spoiled the mood.
anyway, yesterday it was all good friends and old flame. it was cool how i knew she "summoned" billy to come back cos she needed to finally say goodbye to him too. all this time she's kept him inside her heart, refusing to say goodbye, but yesterday night, she summoned him and said goodbye to him, along with her other good friends. yesterday she dealt with things from her past. not her present [victor and maddie and stuff], and not her future. yesterday it was her past. only them was she able to move on. and i have to do that too. but there's a time for everything, and it's not the right time for me to deal with my past yet. i gotta wait slightly more than a month. then i can move on with my life too. i was sobbing and sobbing in the closing minutes of that episode. the last episode ripped a piece of my heart out.
and i can't forget that image of all her friends standing there as she walks away from them, all teary with a smile on their lips, but their faces showing intense sorrow. and billy at the end, smiling at her.

grr..
i WAS in a good mood, then i made the cardinal mistake of going to hirman's blog. he mentioned that he was gonna find out more about "shafiqah nadiah song xiuhua for ren cong". haha. now, why does that put me in a bad mood? well, firstly, this ren cong guy was the one who whatevered me that time about hirman. i was studying alone. ALONE. and defenceless. and what does he do? he bothers me. nothing better to do. see wad i mean about RI guys? these people really spoil their image for them. so, secondly, im dying to break this ren cong's heart by telling him that she already has a boyfriend. hah. so there.
anyway, i watched the replacements just now on hbo... for the first time.. it's really nice.. i like it..

im very angry with RI guys in general. not that they ALL suck or anything. in fact, i guess maybe 90% of them are fine and normal. im just angry with raihan's friends. on thursday, i was at mac's, going to study ah. and we were sitting next to this guy, shawn zhang [sorry im kwite kepo]. he was alone. and raihan's frens, minus raihan, were sitting near the toilet.. and they were like, "teasing" us about raihan.. when fana passed them, they were like,"eh, i dunno raihan man!" or sum shit ah. and assessing her looks. waddehell? and then they were gonna leave, so they got up to go ah. but before they left, they went to shawn to tok to him ah.. they were maybe about 5 or more of them. and only 2 of them, at the most, were the original guys i saw the first time i saw raihan at mac's. my back was facing them, but fana was facing them. anyway, they were totally blocking the way out.. so ok, fine. i was still angry with them, so i sed loudly,"hey, we come here to STUDY, rite? not to like, see people ah! yah, and we started coming here a long time ago.. like, in MARCH!" and fana was like,"yah, we dun kare about seeing people.." and i went on practically screaming,"yah, we don't care about people ah, cos we come here to STUDY only. for a LONG time already." and they heard, of cos.. and they like, muttered to each other, or at least that's how fana saw it. then they left ah.. but one of them like, lingered.. he's sum fatass ah. [sorry im really not this mean all the time--slightly less--but im really angry..] and he like, covered his mouth and muttered,"byebye raihan.." and left. !!! i died. i was probably the only one who heard it [cos fana diden], and he probably meant it that way, cos he covered his mouth and all. i was soooo shocked i diden know how to react. then i started laughing/crying.. real tears were streaming from my eyes.. so i made a big show of asking fana for tissue, and pointedly turned to my right [where shawn was sitting] and dabbed at my eyes, and made sniffing sounds. i hope he reports it to the raihan protection agency. hah. thing is, after tt i msged raihan to tell him to tell THEM that i dun LIKE him. and he sed he thinks they know. so if they know, can they not get their cheap thrills by upsetting me? thanks.
on a lighter note, that same day, clemmy was dere.. he was wearing my quiksilver china berms.. the exact ones! ain't that cool? he shares my taste! haha.

help.
i need help. sum.. person just kalled my handphone.. so i picked it up. and it was sum GERL. i swear, it could NOT be a guy. and she was like,"gerl?" so i was like,"saper ni?" and she refused to say.. she was like,"tengah buat aper, girl?" and i sed i was online, and she asked with who, and i sed no one, i was just d/ling songs.. then she was all like,"oh okay, goodnight girl!" den she hung up. erm. please tell me who that was. it's kinda freaky. kinda? it IS. it wasn't aishah. really diden sound like her. wasn't mai either. but y am i just naming lims? cos no gerl in her right mind will do what that ass just did to me. please help. i wanna noe who it is. and i also dunno how to react rite now. come to think of it, she sounded kinda like shafiqah.. but i KNOW shafq would never talk to me liddat.

no time, no time. i just wanna say how i lurve donovan.. today i went there alone.. and the entire fantastic four was there.. i grinned at him.. den i bought a drink.. and passed them.. and paused to tok to him.. and i ended up talking to all of them!!! but mostly him ah.. and then i asked kurus for his name.. it's muksin or muksit or smthg. yeah ok bye.

i juz played the coolest online game ever! it's a whole stolen painting mystery, with characters and sets from lego... it is sooo cool.. and the thing is, i won all the games i had to play in my pursuit for the stolen painting.. of cos, that's cos that's a kids' game, but that's okay.. i am only at that level anyway.. bubbye.. gonna kick a punching bag now.

im pissed. but that's okay. cos 30 minutes ago i was fuming. so of cos it's better to juz be pissed.
1. why can't my brother take kare of himself? no-balls coward. no, seriously. he's in pri 6. PLEASE screw up some courage. in pri 6 i cld stay home alone just FINE.
2. i dun like to see people puking. oh, plus. i feel dumped. i'd rather be dumped by 5 guys in a row than to haf that happen. but it did anyway.
3. wow. stupid asshole bala behind me in the bus just now. wad's his friggin problem? first he pounds the seat really loud. then he sits there, and kicks MY seat periodically the whole journey. gotohell.
yeah so u kan see why i was fuming. maybe u can't. but that's okay. i would just like to recommend boxing for all. helps relieve all sorts of tension. like mine. yeah. so. try it.

u noe mtv tripleplay? where they play three videos, and you try and figure out what all three videos have in common? i could never get it right, even when it was staring me in the face. anyway. today i had a movie marathon. it's a really great way to end an entire week of relentless studying.. and a really great way of making use of the vcds my parents recently acquired. i watched austin powers in goldmember, signs and lilo and stitch, in that order.. signs totally sucked, but im glad i watched it anyway. and goldmember was by far the best.. but i liked lilo and stitch alot.. cos it made me cry.. hehe.. but my point is, it was sorta a tripleplay. cos they all had something in common. can you guess what? they all involved outer space!!! i was thinking maybe they all involved aliens, but that's not so for goldmember, so i stretched it abit and.. yah.. wow i figured out the common thing! im so happy. haha. k then. im gonna go. bye.

sorry, there's something really essential that i forgot to add.. for the greater part of the morning, and some of the evening, i was lost in london.. in the literature of tony parsons.. it's called "man and boy".. it's really good.. so i would like to thank my sister for putting this book on my bed last night.. and there was this quote..
"You drift through the years and life seems tame, then a stranger appears and love is his name." --nancy sinatra

1. raihan [wad face should i make exactly? a happy one cos he's essentially a great guy? or a pissed one, cos he just refuses to acknowledge knowing us?] came in with 2 of his friends during breakfast time. and i woke up at 6 just to reach mac's at 8. haha. oh. he left shortly after 11 or 12, i guess..
2. gemuk=donovan
kurus=[sum name starting with M, sorry, but donovan mumbles and im pekak.]
cermin mata=gadafi
tinggi=najip
3. aishah came today. i diden noe she came on saturdays. she smiled at me, den she sat with me and talked to me while playing with my fone for awhile. she thought redhuan was my guy. "where's your guy?" she asked. so i told her,"he's not my guy." den she left after a while ah..

yeah so dat's it. i really think i had an awesome time today. hehe.

1. the entire fantastic four was there today.. like, early afternoon.. and i smiled and waved at gemuk.. and the rest of them reacted ah. damn. i hope they aren't wadevering gemuk cos of me..
2. beast was there today. with unidentified, never-before-seen aimees.. and aishah was there too.. do you know, when i first saw beast today, my entire body tingled?! i did not understand it.. even my teeth was tingling.. and i felt dizzy.. it was really bad.. i really dunno wat was wrong.. it was like the kinetic particle theory of solid objects.. except i could literally feel every particle of my body vibrating about their fixed positions.. eee.. and the tingling lasted for, oh, i dunno.. 10 minutes.. at least.. i was soooo i-dunno-watted.. the cat high guys next to us muz haf thot i was nuts.. but for the record, beast n gang diden bother us..
3. i know i've never really been in love before. and i know i've never had a boyfriend before. so i dunno wat it's like. i dunno wat it might be like, i dunno anything, in other words. but this is what i wish i could be like.
Your presence brings sunshine into my heart.
You don't touch me, but i feel the comfort of your arms;
You don't look at me, but i feel the warmth of your smile.
And your strength flows into me.
Kehadiranmu membawa mentari ke dalam hatiku.
Aku tidak kau sentuh, namun keselesaan pelukanmu dapat ku rasa.
Aku tidak kau pandang, namun kemesraan senyumanmu dapat ku sentuh.
Lalu kekuatanmu mengalir ke dalam diriku.
yes i know it sux, especially the malay version, but i thought in english.. and 25% of the malay one, i had to look up in the kamus dwibahasa.. haha.. [npcc guy, this one goes out to you!]

i remember once, very recently, i thought,"why does everything happen to me?" i meant everything bad ah.. i thot that after i was threatened by beast n gang.. and i was really upset.. and i was so confused as well... i mean, i didn't exactly do anything to them.. so i reasoned it was totally unfair for that to happen to me..
then today.. i met miss leong again.. talked to her.. wow it's been so long.. and she still remembers me! and everyone else! imagine that! plus.. i saw gemuk.. "talked" to him, somewhat.. i never realised i had the courage to make friends.. and u noe.. then in the bus i realised,"yeah, everything DOES happen to me--the bad AND the good.." so.. syukur alhamdulillah..

1. good morning.. it's been a good morning so far.. plus the fact that i had the most hilarious dream about the most screwed prefectorial head elections.. anyway..
2. im going to study at the airport in about an hour or so.. at least no bitches who carik pasal there, huh? but im still bringing my penknife.. just because i always carry it in my pencil case... =)
3. listening to destiny's child's "emotion" now.. it's so nice.. unfortunately, it kinda reminds me of those days.. sigh.. haha. dun worry, im over them now, really.. juz that... the memory of it irritates me sometimes..
well im gonna go now.. eat nasi lemak.. mm.. delish.. tata..

i created 2 dolls!!!! one is modified from one of dusty's dolls, another is created from someone's base.. thanks to both of them...