i can't believe itz been 20 days since i last blogged properly. it was SO painful, i can tell you. and it's kinda a little hard getting back into the game. i'm still mad at her for making me give up blogging for so long. and if she finds this one, i'll kill her. i swear i will.. i'll get beer to kill her. and her friends, to boot. how dare she continue to bother me.
anyway, i was at the bus stop this morning.. feeling kinda sad cos hichael was nowhere in sight. anyway then 198 came and i was looking out for frappe, but only his sidekick stepped out. darn. then mag came.. and then hichael walked past.. then i turned around and frappe was there with sidekick! i was simply dying. haha. silver headfones and all... wow... and hichael looked just as good.. so nice to see him.. he looks good even from 100 metres away, and even better 1 metre away.. hahah.. well.. bye... don't worry, i'll get my flair for blogging back soon..

You still scared, I'll be scared too, it's cool though just holla back aight.

(Verse 1)
All alone I'm not feeling wanted
Try to wait but my body's calling
You're the one so why don't you come and, rescue me
I'll be here while you're on your way
Counting down till I see your face
Hurry up cos i love the way you rescue me
Now you're here come on out the rain
Soaking wet body's glistening
Finally we can do something, so rescue me
Can't believe how it's going down
I'm, so obsessed with this love I found
It got my head spinning round and round, just rescue me

(chorus)
All night long take me away to another place
Rescue me, save me, save me, save me
All night long take me away to another place
Rescue me, save me, save me, save me

(verse 2)
I come alive when i feel your touch
And i could drown in this pool of love
You could get what i'm thinking of, come rescue me
What you think couldn't be replaced
If you was gone i would find a way
To get you back cause i love the way you rescue me
Laying here with you in the dark
I always knew that you could shift my heart
When I'm with you i don't wanna stop, so rescue me
Only you can fufill my needs
Take me away from this agony
I wanna live out my fantasy, just rescue me

(chorus 4x)
All night long take me away to another place
Rescue me, save me, save me, save me
All night long take me away to another place
Rescue me, save me, save me, save me
damn pro song.. "rescue", by ashanti..

A long time ago, before the world was created and humans set foot on it for the first time, virtues and
vices floated around and were bored, not knowing what to do.

One day, all the vices and virtues were gathered together and were more bored than ever. Suddenly, Ingenious came up with an idea: "Let's play hide and seek!" All of them liked the idea and immediately Madness shouted: "I want to count, I want to count!"

And since nobody was crazy enough to want to seek Madness, all the others agreed. Madness leaned against a tree and started to count: "One, two, three..."

As Madness counted the vices and virtues went hiding. Tenderness hung itself on the horn of the moon, Treason hid in a pile of garbage. Fondness curled up between the clouds and Passion went to the centre of the earth. Lie said that it would hide uder a stone,
but hid at the bottom of the lake, whilst Avarice entered a sack that he ended up breaking. And Madness continued to count: ". .seventy nine, eighty, eighty one..."

By this time, all the vices and virtues were already hidden - except Love. For undecided as Love is, he could not decide where to hide. And this should not surprise us, because we all know how difficult it is to hide Love. Madness: "...ninety five, ninety six, ninety seven..."

Just when Madness got to one hundred, Love jumped into a rose bush where he hid. And Madness turned around and shouted: "I'm coming I'm coming!" As Madness turned around, Laziness was the first to be found, because Laziness had no energy to hide. Then he spotted Tenderness in the horn of the moon, Lie at the bottom of the lake and Passion at the centre of the earth. One by one, Madness found them all - except Love. Madness was getting desperate, unable to find Love. Envious of Love, Envy whispered to Madness: "You only need to find Love, and Love is hiding in the rose bush."

Madness grabbed a wooden pitch fork and stabbed wildly at the rose bush. Madness stabbed and stabbed until a heartbreaking cry made him stop. Love appeared from the rose bush, covering his face with his hands. Between his fingers ran two trickles of blood from his eyes. Madness, so anxious to find Love, had stabbed out Love's eyes with a pitch fork. "What have I done! What have I done!" Madness shouted. "I have left you blind! How can I repair it?"

And Love answered: "You cannot repair my eyes. But if you want to do something for me, you can be my guide." And so it came about that from that day on, Love is blind and is always accompanied by Madness.

i had a lovely time at school today. it wasn't what i was dreading.. and since it WAS wednesday today, all the klasses were more or less relaxed. anyway, yah so i had a bearable time in skl today.. and plus after skl, it already stopped raining.. so i walked to the mrt station with sya.. and like, from about 100 metres or so away, i saw this guy ah. and i thot he was latte.. then i asked sya. and then we decided he wasn't.. so we continued walking. and when we reached the nearest-to-mrt carpark, i saw the guy again with his friend.. same distance, but i realised whose grey sportsbag he was carrying. it was adam. then he walked towards this white 2-seater sports car with his friend.. and he stood there admiring the car for so long, we managed to catch up to him. sigh. i felt like buying the car then, just so he could have it.. he was really in love with the car.. even as he walked away, he kept turning back to look at the car.. wow.. i just felt so.. heartened for him.. sigh. anyway.. i was really running late then so i walked faster and overtook him and went to meet rachel who was waiting next to the today stand. and as we made the "transaction", i felt like we were doing some sort of drug deal, cos 2 of her friends were standing there with her while she sat on the ledge.. and sya was buying the new paper then [adam already bought it! presumably in ghim moh..].. and adam came walking up.. alone, this time.. i guess his friend takes the bus or smthg. and he was looking at us, making the transaction. at least, in our direction, so i like to believe he was.. sigh. he's really too hot for words. i realise he's acherli not good-LOOKING at all, but somehow.. he's just appealing.. haha. whatever rite? im just nuts. anyway i was in a great mood, basically.. except that i never figured out which train he took.. darn.. nvm.. i shall find out another time.. i have the rest of the year to find out..
anyway.. here i was, in a great mood for the first time in weeks cos i finally got my crumpler and a barrierless viewing of my biggest crush at this point of time [i've had bigger], THEN this nora person had to spoil it. first she called me. when i answered, she put down the fone. k, whatever rite? so many unidentified people, especially mimlims, somehow get hold of my number and try to "make frens" with me.. i know there's always an ulterior motive somewhere, but i usually can't see it at first.. so i just play along or ignore them.. anyway, this nora person msged me, asking "hi is this ain?" so i asked who that was and she sed i probably don't know her [damn right i didn't!] so i asked for her name and she told me.. den she told me that my ex is her ex too.. and that's when i went, -sigh-. i really don't understand why these people refuse to give me a break. i consider all that a huge mistake that should never really be part of my colourful history. and i've tried so hard to forget it. and i've succeeded, most of the time, and i'm leading a great life now, without having to remember that mistake of mine. then someone comes along and gives me a call or a message, therefore succeeding in bringing back that stupid mistake into my mind. it's not fair. i'm trying to be a good girl now, and they come and try to mess up my life. why do they have to do that? what's so special about me that someone physically one year younger and emotionally 5 years younger cannot forget OR get over me? i'm just so pissed. i'm getting on with my life so why can't these people get on with theirs? it's been 2 years. just forget it. and leave me alone.

the whole of yesterday and the bulk of today, i was online. but i wasn't chatting. i was updating my webbie. no, make that REVAMPING my webbie. i realised it was a real mess.. really ugly and noisy and basically gross, with all those hideous cloud buttons extraing around.. so i decided it was high time i got rid of the ugly old thing and make a nice new one. ok, the new one is not THAT nice, but it's definitely nicer. it's simpler. and easier to navigate. so. yah. i got rid of the stupid lyrics and poems pages too. i mean, WHO wants to read my poems? really! it's preposterous. haha. so now it's frames, which i've been wanting to do for a long time, and the links are to this blog and pictures. that's about all. i'm really proud of it. hee. especially the frames part. i typed in a search string and found a nice webbie that gave the code for frames.. so.. yah.. and my mousetrails stay.. i've always loved my mousetrails.. ooh and i made a new test! it's called "who's your vik?" and the viks are... well, if you've taken the test you should know at least 4 of them. haha.. yah and plus, today i updated my acgs webbie, which is, i think, my best one to date. it just looks so organised and sounds so professional. and it sounds mature too. i decided to throw away the silly school creed and school song.. it just looked and sounded so dumb.. and it's all in frames too! so.. yah i'm proud of my achievements.. but i won't link to the acgs webbie. it could incriminate me really badly. ha. bye.

sum guy from council.. the secretary.. forgot his name but his initials are wm.. haha.. anyway he called me just now.. told me my interview date and time and all.. and now im just so skared.. i mean, i dunno, with the unfortunate circumstances these couple of weeks i kinda fell into this reassurance tt i'd never have to go through the interview.. and stuff.. and that somehow when skl finally reopened, there wld be no such thing as council elections anymore.. now the realization has hit me.. and i just dunno how im gonna get through the interview.. and the campaigning.. and all that.. alone.. im too much of a coward to ask rachel or whoever if i can run with them.. so.. yah i'll be going through this alone. im really not sure why im doing this when i won't be voted in anyway.. but i have to get through it anyway, not because everyone in the council exco will hate me if i pull out now, but because i refuse to disappoint myself. like i sed, i've wanted to be in council since EVER, and i owe it to myself to just give it a try. if i die trying [you can die in many ways], at least i can say i tried. and then i'll know it wasn't me who disappointed myself. but im still very skared. and im not like, dying for skl to reopen now..
so im glad they decided to extend the closure by 2 days [for jcs, tt is].. it'll give me time to think in peace.. plus i have a few extra days to try and run and complete 2 more pages of econs essay..

it was such a long long loooooooonnng downpour.. and i was just chilling, pickling myself.. watching a horrible confused movie on rcti.. and reading.. reading.. reading.. i dunno i guess i realised how much i really love reading.. i've loved it since i KNEW how to read.. and i just forgot about that love until i finished my 4th novel of the holiday today.. and im so grateful for the break.. for making me realise my first inanimate love. ha.
oh ive been feeling extremely restless lately.. itz been such a nightmare trying to sleep. i went to bed at 12.05 yest.. and i was still tossing and turning at 2 am.. i have no idea when i acherli fell asleep, but im glad i finally did. but even in sleep i was restless.. i had this funny dream about being at sum skl where fana was watching 2 bball teams playing.. anyway it was a horrible dream.. there was a girl on the other team [i.e. the one we weren't supporting], she was playing opposite the guy fana liked [who, btw, was NOT cute!], and she wasn't wearing underwear!!! and she was wearing a netball skirt! or smthg! yarh.. and then i could hear mvp valentine songs playing.. sheesh.. stupid dream!

in case itz hard to read, itz
a Noticeably Obliging Romantic who Adores Incredible Niceness..
yah well.. im gonna go now..
oh wait. i discovered that victoriassecret.com really does have incredible stuff to ogle at!!! wow!

i discovered that one of the reader's digest condensed books contained a mary higgins clark: all around the town.. since i lurve mary higgins clark, i pounced on it and started reading.. and i kan tell ya, it was soooooooooo hard tearing myself away from the book.. especially at one point of time where i was like, dying of pee-ness, but i just HAD to finish the book.. well, peeing won in the end.. haha.. i love the way she just grips you from the beginning to the end.. itz sooooooo cool.. well.. ta!

One Last Cry--Brian McKnight
My shattered dreams and broken heart
Are mending on the shelf
I saw you holding hands
Standing close to someone else
Now I sit all alone
Wishing all my feeling was gone
I gave my best to you
Nothing for me to do
But have one last cry

Chorus:
One last cry
Before I leave it all behind
I've gotta put you out of my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I guess I'm down to my last cry

I was here, you were there
Guess we never could agree
While the sun shines on you
I need some love to rain on me
Still I sit all alone
Wishing all my feeling was gone
Gotta get over you
Nothing for me to do
But have one last cry

Chorus:
One last cry
Before I leave it all behind
I've gotta put you out of my mind this time
Stop living a lie

I know I gotta be strong
Cause round me life goes on and on and on and on

I'm gonna dry my eyes
Right after I end my one last cry

Chorus:
One last cry
Before I leave it all behind
I've gotta put you out of my mind for the very last time
Been living a lie
I guess I'm down
I guess I'm down
I guess I'm down...
to my last cry

itz really really worrying, and i've been praying for it not to hit myself or the people who r important to me.. yarh.. anyway.. actually therez really not much for me to ponder on publicly today.. seeing as i hardly did anything yesterday. apart from rotting, that is. ohyeah.. discovered a story i wrote in my organiser... will post it here.. wait arh..
Once upon a time there lived 2 girls. Girl 1's friend once liked this boy whose name was Heaven. But nothing came out of it. Girl 2 later got to know Heaven and both girls were happy as they both thought he was a nice boy. And so Girl 1 found out soon that Girl 2 liked Heaven. She set them up together, and since Heaven liked Girl 2, they were both happy together. But one day, Girl 2 started liking a boy called Fair and, forgetting she ever liked Heaven, broke up with the latter. Everyone was devastated, but Heaven soon found another girlfriend. That was when Girl 1 got upset. She could not, for the life of her, figure out why. Then, too late, she realised she liked Heaven. A great deal. But she did nothing about it. A year or so later, Heaven broke up with his girlfriend. And Girl 1 discovered that Girl 2 was trying to win Heaven back. Girl 1 knew she never ever wanted that to happen, and that she had to do something to prevent it from happening. She prayed for the best for the boy she really liked. But still she did nothing.
had a short chat with kamie just now that totally reminded me of this.. and itz getting more real, the threat. and other bigger threats are getting more real too. and i wonder, i just wonder, if we'll all survive these threats.

everything seems so unreal somehow.. like, what with SARS and new classmates and the stupid 410 thing that is wondering if itz gonna happen or not but anyway im not going since im sure they'll be drinking anyway.. and now i haven't talked to anyone besides family since firdaus.. and im probably not going to.. so.. here i am feeling scared i'll get SARS, or my family will get SARS, or other ppl i love will get it.. and im kinda isolated.. and wondering what my new classmates will be like.. and how we'll react to them as a class.. and i dunno.. suddenly the blissful feeling of yesterday is starting to wane.. and im feeling out of it again.. and God knows when i can come back to the real world, with real friends, and such..

do i really wanna go out tmr? nah i dun think so.. i don't particularly want to stay home either, but i'd rather not spend my time tmr with a bunch of friends whom i have never really talked to.. i mean, i love them.. but it all seems.. it all feels.. superficial, like. and i really dun feel like maintaining some superficial friendships tmr.. maybe next week.. but not tmr.. i dun feel like it. i feel like seeing a real fren.. or just myself would be fine too. bye.

"Josh and his new girlfriend are at that stage of their relationship where they want to share their happiness with the rest of the world. I don't understand why happy couples can't be happy in private. Why do they need the rest of us to validate their happiness? Is it that they don't really believe in what they have found? That they suspect it might be a mirage? Why can't they just fuck off and leave us alone?"--from tony parsons' one for my baby

i was SO upset when rachel msged and sed she forgot to bring the crumpler. n that she'd pass it to me another day. but i didn't scream or let it out or anything. i stayed calm and un-angry. it was quite easy to do that for once. maybe studying and rain does that. anyway. it was like, 2.06 then. or smthg. so i went to the toilet one last time.. and there i was thinking, hey, maybe i'll be going home with shock or smthg.. then i went back out and packed my things and left. and i was walking to the queue and then i saw a guy in the queue who looked extremely cute from the back. spikyish hair, white uniform.. yada yada. and the first thing that popped into my mind was, firdaus. and i was wondering how to confirm that in the shortest possible time, so i looked down at his shoes. yep, they were orange. so as i entered the queue, i paused for awhile next to him, and sed,"hi." and itz like.. i dunno... i just forgot wat it feels like to unexpectedly bump into someone nice.. and today i was reminded of that feeling again.. in spite of all the disappointment i've felt thus far.. i just can't believe it... and i just wanna thank God for blessing me.. as He always does. even though i haven't been the greatest Muslim ever..

O2 was the most boring thing i'd ever been to. half my eyecandy was in the hall common-testing, the other half slacking away in sum obscure corner of rj.. so.. not much excitement for me from the start.. so i guess i just diden try.. but i really din find anything cool and interesting n fun in the storyline.. and the not-trying part.. well i guess i just made it worse.. and plus it was so hot and muggy.. and i dunno, it just diden feel the same anymore.. the gym was too bright and dusty, the people too annoying [i.e. lloyd], and i was already in a crappy mood from the beginning of this week. so.. yah i guess the chemistry just wasn't right for O₂. [pun intended and all, i meant that..]
anyway i thot the day would get progressively worse.. but just now i went for dinner at beach road with my sister and her bf.. and now im full and much happier so.. yah..

some people are just mean. and some people are just emotionally weak and should not be meaned against in such a manner [me]. so yeah, i feel depressed and unhappy and generally negative. and i missed the class dinner cos im just too down to eat pizza or whatever it is people do during class dinner. esp 3D class dinner. somemore drama sucked ass. it ended at 6.40, for God's sake. why did i even come to skl? sheesh. what a bad day. what a bad day.

2 guys. one was in skl dis morning with his dad. a vik. handsome. tall.looks like a nice person. guess he was appealing. hope he gets in. and he was wearing MY fila shoes! it's fate, i know it. [ok, i know itz not. but itz just a cool coincidence.]
the other one was with his girlfriend frm fairfield methodist.. malay.. good-looking too. haha. den i was telling sya sum anecdote. and i was saying how i was laughing, and "everyone looked at me.." and then he looked straight at me and said,"oh really? that's sad.." or smthg liddat. infront of his girlfriend! if i were her, i would have kicked him. but.. whatever man.

today was cool. im damnnnn full now. had drama from 9 to 5.. had a nice lunch at mac's in btwn.. and a lim entered the toilet. haha. drama was ok... i learned the second part of the tarian rasuk.. ermm.. den after drama we went home.. and nizam sya n me went to the kampung changi restaurant place to eat.. im sooooooo full! had sum kinda nasi goreng which was nice, but really ALOT. i was dying. [i still am.] den we talked alot. and we went century square for awhile.. den we separated to our homes.. im soooooo drained and full and yet satisfied with life.. oohyeah i finally got the practs, i really appreciate the photocopy shop for being open during march hols. yeah. and thank god too.. oh my uniform is also done, alterations and cucians and all.. so.. yeah.. ready to wear.. but cannot wear yet, i suppose. hee.
bye.

got the idea of this photo summary thing from dusty.. yay.