heyya. so anyway, i was just putting on my slippers to go downstairs and study when my fone beeped. it was fana, who wanted to meet at around 1-plus at tampines to study. of cos i sed ok. i mean, i know i study better alone and everything, but itz always nice to meet a friend instead, and try to study. thatz what i think anyway.
so we were at bk, and fana was telling me about her dream, and then she mentioned deedee, and i suddenly felt this compelling need to turn around and look outside, and i was like, eh, is tt deedee? and i looked closer and it was!!! so i told fana and we started like, waving our arms about and mildly screaming, "dee! deedee!" or smthg dumb liddat. due to her blindness, we did that for some time before she finally waved back and came to join us inside. wow it was a whole 410 reunion or smthg to me.. so we talked and studied and all tt and it was really cool, i diden expect all this to happen on a boring old sunday.
on another upside, i finished a whole topic of econs today.. haha.. and did an essay outline. was supposed to do two, but nevermind. decided to give myself a discount. and speaking of discounts, has anyone else seen the 13% price cuts at petrol stations? it is SO econs!!! and there are all these thingies tt totally remind me of econs.. i dunno if itz just me, or maybe everyone else jumped on the economic theory bandwagon too..
well.. i shd go now.. tata!

evening, all! today was a terrific day. really. but itz gonna be a looooong entry cos i'm gonna give a blow-by-blow account of it.. haha. btw i'm watching ali setan now. itz kinda cute and sweet ah, but itz not THAT great, ili!!! i mean, itz still very kekok at some parts.. at this point, do they like each other or not? rather, do they KNOW they like each other?
hm the day proceeded as usual for the morning part.. sat rite across the aisle from OM, who is still cute, and getting cuter. ha. then.. hm. i dun remember, so i guess tt means nothing much.. all the way up till... PE? hehe i watched OM floorball-passing for about 5-10 minutes.. then watched him walk out.. then we had floorball.. which wasn't as action-packed.. the amount of action is damn low now, and decreasing with every lesson. ohwell. at least i diden tire myself out? not sure if ttz a good thing or not. then decided to kill time by watching the class weekly game.. and i was just sitting there with gill when mondo-adorable OM came walking by, alone, with his equally adorable towel.. hehe. he was looking for his frens, who obviously weren't there. so he just ended up walking one big round, and *I* ended up watching him walk the big round. that was dumb. but fun!
anyway then met fana and went to bishan. bishan, where we discovered this pushcart selling hair rubberbands, cekaks in every colour imaginable [better and cooler than mine!], aaaaand... [this is the best, wait for it]...earstuds!!!! the colourful kinds that i wanted to get!!! and alphabets too, lyke i wanted to get!!! so i bought 3 letters and one flower stud. and then i got 4 hair rubberbands too. it cost.. erm.. 7.8 bucks. yes yes i know, wasting money again. i only have so many earholes rite? but i couldn't help it. the letters were too tempting.. haha. anyway then we decided to go bk far east.. and we met fadly awaludin there!!! he's sooo cute! haha. of cos, my fone cam came to the rescue again. wahahha. so anyway after eating we had to go home cos fana had ngaji or smthg ah. and i was supposed to be watching this i-can't-decide-if-itz-good-or-bad movie, so yah.
took the train home cos i was TOO tired. i think smthg is super-wrong with me. i get tired really easily these days. my leg was aching again, after just walking to bishan stadium and back. so yes, i took the train. acherli i wanted to train back to bishan and take 53, but the train was full so decided to go directly home. so.. took the train, got off at raffles place and changed. got a seat at the 2-people-corner when this man got off at city hall, and plopped my ass down without caring who came in. then i happened to look to my right [i was sitting with the glass pane to my right] and i saw this familiar mambo bag with a red wiffle ball hanging on it from a carabina, and i was like, WOH! and scrambled to have a look at his face. [i knew it was HL guy's bag.] malangnya, there was a stupid man leaning on the pane and i couldn't see the guyz face, only the bag. and then the train slowly cleared, and there was a little space where i cld see him. but his back was to me, so ttz all i cld see.. and his hair was very unHL-guy.. then a couple of stops later, i turned to look at him again, and he just turned to look at me at the same time! aaahhh! and it was him! he looked even cuter than i last remembered.. and i almost fainted and buried my face in the new paper again. but i kept on glancing, i couldn't help it! he also cut his hair, and it looks neat and adorable. itz no longer as mangkuk-ky, but itz still floppy, thank God. people continued clearing the train, and HL guy continued to glance at me, while talking to his completely-obscured-by-the-stupid-man friend. then we reached eunos and the train really cleared. the man got lost, and i saw adam emerge from behind him. i almost fainted [again]. and adam sed bye to HL guy and got off. then HL guy leaned on the pane [!!!!] and listened to his discman or watever.. and kept fidgeting about his position.. so kiiiuuuttt!!! he was wearing berms and a tshirt and shoes.. think he went out with adam today. wowz.. adam was wearing glasses, ttz all i rem.. anyway HL guy got off at tanah merah [hello! now WHY did i move from there again?!?!?].. and i think he and adam think i lyke adam.. but not him.. haiz. i mean, everyone lykes adam. but i'm sure not alotta ppl like HL guy! you know, like chu bang in jj.. haiz. takpe. i'm just feeling really wowed tt i got to see adam and HL guy in the most unlikely place, at the most unlikely time..
and now itz raining. thunderingly too! thunder rumbles, lightning streaks for miles--unknowingly, i begin to smile. goodnight babes. love y'all!

harloez! on the laptop again, meaning no clippie, of cos.. i just wasted one good hour collaging my new test pad. haha. itz now my favourite colour--pinkpurpleorange. veh veh nice, if i do say so myself. but seriously, itz nice. pity the white glue keduts the cardboard. wish i cld find a better way to preserve the glossiness of the collage. ohwell. anyway, itz really nice, check it out k? itz even better than the red-themed one. haha. and acherli the pink on it is abit too much, but i realised tt women's magazines feature alot, and i mean ALOT, of pink stuff.
ok that was just some mindless info, time for more. decided not to pon next wed, itz too leceh arh. i mean, i need to produce another parent's letter? no thanks. too much trouble for me. hm. ohyah today was like, the worst day of my life or something. i thot i'd be all well-rested after a nice children's day but nooo! OM wasn't here. ex-fren wasn't here. SYA'S FREN wasn't here. like, helLO! that is just too too mean. seriously. so i was grumpy the whole day ah. i mean, it is really painful to see lumut bouncing around [with tt really cool 3d bag] and knowing that ex-fren's eeky voice is NOT gonna reach your ears after tt. or seeing setan strolling around skl and hating his toiletbrush hair even more cos OM's not around. aiyah. it was just bullshit ah. even decaf wasn't around. who was? latte, acherli. haha. but latte doesn't work alone. he has to be taken with others, i just realised today. so like when econs lec came i acherli screamed in shocked surprise. sigh.
you know what? i hate the train. i hate people who try to squeeze in, insisting tt us big-bagged ppl should move to the centre of the carriage. itz like, relek ah! take the next train, why don't you? make life easier for all of us. sheesh. i just want a mode of transport with elbow room for me and my bag. i don't care how low the frequency is, as long as i can move around freely without my stupid bag on my lap. sheesh. whatever, man.
today during impromptu/spontaneous/lastmin mac's lunch we were talking about the sweater theory. hahah. i really think itz a great theory. will be even greater in practice. and the ain's twin brother theory. thatz even cooler. i kan just take any of his sweaters. or steal one of his friends' [who will be my friends anyway]. sadly, these theories will never be put into practice, although not by our choice.
oh but guess what? remember i sed my brother was a skater, and is now gonna be a biker? i think he cld possibly be a breaker too! i was just passing my COMP just now [which he was using], and i just happened to glance at the screen, and i saw this heeeuuge picture [obviously from a digicam] of a guy in a breakdancing pose. so my eyes did a little zoom-in, and it was my brother!!! i almost fainted there. but i just pretended it diden affect me at all. but it did, it did! it was one of those cool gravity-defying poses, see. so like yah! maybe he is a breaker too! alrite! keep it up, bro! [see, if you went to RI as you wanted to, you'd definitely not be this cool. {no offence, but you don't hear of RI breakers, bikers, or skaters rite? haha.}]
well enuff crapping. i'm gonna do ringkasan now, followed by some surfing around. haha. yes i know, stop procrastinating, rite?
later.

assalamu'alaikum. i am shitass sleepy man! i dun get it! i woke up at *ahem* nine and everything! i watched kelly's dream club, which was really cute [and i love chelsie]. and i just rested alot, basically.
anyway i was at the bp store outside jj and paying for my stuff when the cashier asked me, "any petrol?" i was really dazed then, acherli, cos i was soopa hungry. but when i came to my senses, i was kwite flattered. haha. i look old enough to drive? i look well-off enough to own a car? amazing! really lifted my spirits there. haha.
also found out that fana n diana know the jj guy i keep seeing at buona vista. he was just sitting there, like 4 metres away. completely distracting. but you know what? the more i go to jj, the more convinced i am that itz a really great school. there were just tons of wooden benches-and-tables around, EMPTY, i might add, with lots of wind and stuff. the school was empty. the benches were clean. sigh. rj cld never be like that. thatz why i've never studied in skl. tell me why you like to study in skl, sya's fren. [and while you're at it, tell me if you dyed your hair. what colour is it?] also saw chu bang, finally. he is really cute. as in cute cute. tall with rosy cheeks and very baik face. i lurve rosy cheeks. damn cute.
haha. unfortunately, all i have to show for today are 2 completed chem exercises. damn.

ohman! just read ili's blog! i'm so sorry babe! and to denise and all! to the other 8 people who turned up! did not know my pw group was THAT slack!

hey y'all! having a happy children's day?
i just had THE most unsettling dream ever. and i woke up with a horrible cramp in my left leg. it still hurts now. anyway the dream was about ex-fren, so i just HAD to write it down somewhere.
i think we were in school or somewhere school-like. there was a bunch of us in a ts-like place, having a lesson or a briefing or smthg. all the friends were there, including toot and non-. and they were sitting in the front row while we sat in the back. acherli it was basically a select combination of both our classes. anyway then ex-fren got up and went out ah. and i was like, "waddehell where did he go?" and then sya's fren turned round to us and told us that ex-fren had a performance in another ts. so i like, dashed out, with everyone's eyes on me, and barged into the said ts. and he was like, 25% through his performance ah. and everyone stared at me, but i eksyened bodoh and sat down to watch. and he was singing AND playing. alone. solo. he was totally absorbed so he diden see me until it was over. and get this. he sounded really nice. he had a really nice, on-pitch voice, which sounded totally unlike his normal speaking voice. [kinda like ziana zain rite?] anyway then he was done and he looked up and smiled at me. and he sat down next to me, and then *I* had to sing!!! it was a nightmare! [a nightmare within a dream? haha.] but he was like, smiling all the way. and when it was over, he congratulated me and shouted something as i walked out the door. dunno wat, then later i was walking with a classmate of theirs, and then we met him, and he started like, praising me or sum shit.
arrghh. yes what a stupid dream.

hi. i'm feeling really weird now. and today. all the things that happened today--they were so different from the norm! the book. the non-ex-friend. the no-bio, which i still haven't gotten used to yet. the lunch at tm. stuff like that. [ohyah on the laptop now, will put the clippie later.]
my mummy is reading qiraati book 1 now. itz really cute. i never thot 40-something-year-olds could still be cute. haiz. sometimes i just feel like crying. she's always trying so hard. working so hard. and look at me, i'm blogging!!! when there's actual work for me to do! please let me grow up to be like her. that stupid celebrity gp passage, itz totally untrue. here's an extension of my application question: in my household, i do not idolise any celebrity. no celebrity, local, foreign or international [you can be foreign by being restricted to the foreign market only, therefore not international], forms the only, or even a part of, the yardstick that i use to measure happiness/success/whatever. similarly, no celebrity shapes my identity. this is due to the presence of religion, ethics, principles and personal role models in my life.
so anyway, i bought 8.2 bucks of hair stuff today. haha. i totally blew away all my money man.. haha the dodo ad sounds like some pseudo eksyen-hindi song. or mebbe itz just me. ohwell. sorry for sounding disjointed, i'm watching tv acherli.. but tmr i'm having a nice children's day i hope.. airport, then jj to c chu bang. i doubt his cuteness though. but to each his own.
ohyah. i just HAVE to say this. i'm so happy for him!!! he looked so grumpy when i finally caught up with him. and totally misinterpreted my [noble and sincere and non-seductive] intentions. and after telling him to do what he was supposed to do, i kinda got skared that he'd like, reject the gift or smthg. but luckily he diden.. he was damn appreciative, apparently. and after that he totally brightened up and was restless or smthg. ttz so cool! and sweet! wish i was there to see it. sigh. if someone bothers to make you as happy as that, isn't it indicative of how much they like you? so shouldn't you then open your eyes abit bigger? maybe then you'll see what you disallowed yourself to see, and then maybe it'll make more sense for you to overcome natural inhibitions [e.g. shyness, skaredness, etc]. is that vague or what?
not in the mood to blog properly. received a huge shock today. still haven't recovered yet. bye all. have a great day tmr, and hope i will too.

suddenly i feel so off..
anyway, these days i realised that i feel as if i'm back in primary school!!!!!!!!! i'm not sure if thatz a good thing or the opposite. ok. i'll explain.
in primary school i was pretty much like i am now, crazy and crushing on lotsa guys. with less emphasis on the crazy. there was aermy in pri1, allif from pri 4-early pri 6, fathrul in pri 6, something like that. and the thing about pri skl is once you tell someone, ANYONE, about liking someone else, it kinda gets round the whole school by the next day. so the next day i'd find myself walking around to herizal teasing me or smthg liddat ah. haha. i still remember when allif used to take the bus home with me. that was really cool. and nice. and sweet. plus he was really cute too. in primary skl i already loved to read. especially sunday comics. and they used to be alot more, with little puzzles and a ripley's believe it or not section.
so you can imagine how i felt today when i opened lifestyle [shabnam melwani reis is sooooooooooooooooooo pretty!!! i wanna be her!] from the back and saw all these cool little puzzles, just like they used to have when i was in primary skl!!! and the comics stretched out over 3 pages, in colour! i took out a pen and started doing all the puzzles.. and it just felt sooooooo comforting. at least in primary skl, i knew who i was, or at least, diden care much if i diden know. sigh.
how i wish i could go on the playground again too.

hm. well. i've been a complete lazybones today can anyone tell me how i won't end up lyke this yellow pufferfish here? woke up at 8.30. now THATZ ironic. mandied. ate. watched tv. read. slept. ate. went to loyang point, picked up the pics. ate. went home. read. slept. and so on. hello?!?!? what is wrong with me? i just felt so rotten today i guess.
but anyway i realised where i get my kegilaan from. itz acherli my dad. he used to like, crack jokes, and i used to REALLY want to laugh at them but refuse to. and he'd taunt me until i finally laughed out loud. just now we were at mac's and this little girl asked her grandmother, "where's daddy?" and her granma replied, "sheng siong..!" except it came out as "sing song!" and so my dad was like, imitating her, and the three of us [incl my brother, who is, btw, a biker. or going to be one.] burst out laughing. and thatz when i realised, the laugher is in the genes.
ohyah forgot to write about my first latte nightmare. i was sitting in the canteen or somewhere with a bunch of people including him. but the two of us were talking to each other ah, within the group. and we were on our way to becoming friends. then in the middle of our conversation, i guess i got an sms or smthg, so i checked my fone, replied or smthg, and put it on the table after the phonelight went off. and latte was like, "hey, let me see." and snatched the fone off the table. i was abit too slow to get it back, and he pressed a button, and when he saw the screen, his face totally changed and he stared at me in disbelief. then he stood up and started screaming at me. "what's this? is this my face? what the hell is my face doing on your fone? when did you take my picture? are you nuts? how can my face be on your fone?" and it went on and on. and i was like crying and trying to explain and all. anyway it was really scary, and i guess i should change it soon, but.. i dunno. malas ah. that had to be a sign rite? wow it was just such a real dream, when i woke up, i expected him to continue screaming at me.
well. itz over now.

In the course of a lifetime, what does it matter?--Sharon Creech
i love that quote. it really helps to put some things in perspective. listening to michael buble now. he rocks! wow. muz burn a new cd soon. anyway, just finished another sharon creech today. acherli both books seem to follow the same pattern, and they share ALOT of common elements. but anyway, i like this one better. but both have nice quotes and thots so i don't regret reading them anyway. hm. dun think i've acherli regretted reading anything yet.. except for this horrible one called loving april. it was just full of nonsense, and thinly-disguised childish porn. whatever man.
hm today went well. no, wait, it didn't. i wouldn't call wanting to strangle her with that offbeat scarf a day that went well. it started out nice, tho. i like my new earfones, so i was enjoying them this morning, then fana called, so i was enjoying my newly-acquired ringtone, then we were talking, which i lurve to do anyway, so i was enjoying THAT. and of cos i enjoyed the rest of the journey to school, for obvious reasons. OM looks even cuter with that hair. whee~
ohyah on to the bad part. no not yet. some normal parts. btw can i just complain that lamlam is a freak and he keeps popping up every 20 minutes or so into my line of vision? is this an elaborate plot to unhinge me? there's no need for further unhinging, so you can stop now. ok anyway econs was horrible, refer to strangling line above. i was just feeling SO down during the whole hour! really, really rotten. luckily ili, with her super eyes [which we only discovered like, what, last week?] spotted latte and i got a nice but short gazing session before going back to draw a couple of stupid diagrams. then i raced off to my locker, for reasons which i was acherli unclear of until about 15 minutes later. i should have just told sya and ili, but i diden want them to think i was obsessing over ex-friend. [am i?] anyway then i got to see latte again, which helped heal the econs wounds, and then finally ili and sya got a clue and i kinda sprinted out of skl again. [this is the transition part, btw.] so yes, the stalking was lovely. and mac's was pretty empty as usual. and today's lunch was reallyreally nice somehow. i just started out feeling good and it got better and better.. and itz like every other minute was laughter. i really like that.
ooh then pe rocked! played lacrosse. we kinda spent the first 15 minutes of the game laughing at ourselves and each other. but it was so fun!!! sorry, as i sed, i'm a horrible keeper [or mebbe i diden say that here].. that was a baaaaaad goal i let in. darn. if i were fat, it wouldn't have gone in, i bet. ohman and i hit manda with the ball! right in the chest! she had to go off to the side and all! i really hope i diden kill her. and after tt the class played pseudo netball. diden join in, went surau and home instead. nice alternative, the way it turned out. and i went home feeling neutral instead of down. yes, i know i was endorphinny during friday lunch and pe, but like i sed, itz just a friday thing, for me to feel down at the end of the whole day, bio or not, ex-friend or not, etc.
okay okay walk two moons pearls of wisdom!
1. don't judge a man until you've walked two moons in his moccasins.
2. "well, this ain't our marriage bed, but it will do."
3. you can't keep the birds of sadness from flying over your head, but you can keep them from nesting in your hair.
4. "this is what i like about [name]. she is smart, but doesn't act like she knows everything. she is cute. she smells good. she is cute. she makes me laugh. she is cute."
5. "i decided that bravery is looking Pandora's box full in the eye as best you can, then turning to the other box, the one with the smoothbeautiful folds inside.."
6. "roses are red,
dirt is brown,
please be my valentine,
or else i'll frown."
7. "dry is the desert,
wet is the rain,
your love for me
is not in vain."

in school now. first time sey! and the chair's abit the damn low. tak ergonomic! so anyway, just now pw sucked ass. really. itz beginning to suck more and more everyday. every week. whatever. itz just totally unproductive. some people are just real pemalases, or it seems tt way, at least. i know i'm a lazy asshole too, but at least i do SOME stuff. now we hafta do ppt presentation and we haven't even started. i just know i'm in trouble for this..
but like in every shitty day, there are nice wonderful thingies to spice it up. i was taking a toilet stroll with sya b4 pw started, [and bb was crying or smthg, and 2 nice gerls were comforting her, and i was complaining "how can people adjust their bras in public?"] and then sya's fren came along. with latte. that was fun. of cos sya sed hi while i had zero time to recover, and after tt latte appeared to be beating sya's fren up. that was cool. and i mean REALLY cool.
stuff ain hates:
-people adjusting bras in public
-people berasmaradanaing/bermesra-ing in public, otherwise known as PDA
-ugly people who eksyen lawar
-people asking stupid questions, thereby wasting precious time [however, people asking stupid questions in a CUTE way are excluded from this list]
-one girl surrounded by 5249737 guys, or vice versa
-being spied on
-time being wasted cos of idiots stalling, and other stupid reasons
-MC and her high opinion of herself
-derivatives of MC
-and the like

hehe. sorry. i was just inspired to do that today. ok letz do a counter-list or this will be an extremely negative entry.

stuff ain loves:
+comelcuteadorablefunnylawarhunky
+sitting peacefully watching a burst of activity
+aircon
+natural breezes
+53
+food
+sleep
+ex-friend!!!!
+listening to a working discman
+looking at lawar people's faces/features
+observing cute people
+taking pictures
+being in pictures
+those lovely ice-cream-filled chocolate-topped eclairs from anugerah mendaki. -mmmmmmm-
+and the like
+STILL ex-friend!

all 4 one's i can love you like that. say shava shava. ashanti's happy and rescue. aankhein khuli. alicia keys' fallin'.
just figured out a cool new way to have fun with my mp3s. when my brother isn't spoiling the effect by blasting linkin park, that is.
anyway. won't talk much [i think]. today was really nice. i'm not sure why. but i'm willing to bet that freedom was part of it. itz really peaceful, sitting in the bamboo garden with my screwed-up headphones and doing gp/copying econs notes. and once again i wish i'd done this earlier. but itz okay. i guess i'll enjoy it next year too. insya-allah.
acherli i think today's theme was peaceful or smthg. i was like, freezing my fringe off in lt3 today--i really wonder why she bothers to get the lt for us, i mean, at least SHARE it with another class ah, so we can generate more body heat to offset the sub-zero temp!--so i sprinted through my compre and escaped to "go to the toilet". i didn't know where i was planning to go when i stumbled out of the lt, icicles and all, but i just walked where my feet led me ah. and that was my locker, unsurprisingly. but i could see part of the field while i was walking and i saw guys playing soccer, so something clicked inside me. and i bypassed my locker and stood outside the band room looking out at the field. there was really no one around, i mean, hello, 3.30 p.m.?!?!?! so i went to sit down on one of the brown bench-and-table-thingies. and i just sat there, watching ex-friend, and looking for sya's fren, but not finding him. it was really cool. and extremely peaceful. what a great way to thaw. sitting half-submerged in the sun watching people NOT being cold. and i felt lost at first--i was foneless, walletless, source-of-time-less, etc. but luckily no one was there to watch me being stupid. so i think i spent about 5-10 minutes just sitting there watching. should have stayed longer. ohwell. it was nice while it lasted.
now, back to pw.

hey babes.. just checked out the promos timetable.. .. would it be too eksyen if i say that it looks pretty okay? i mean, besides friday the tenth, it looks like i have either totally empty days or one-paper days.. so yeah, i think thatz pretty amazing. may God grace me by letting me do really really well also.
aargh still kan't stop thinking bout him. stoppit, ain. stoppit. ohno now i'm singing along to soni soni.. nutso!!!
okay letz try and up the stress factor [what stress factor?] before i do maths. friday the 10th, gp papers and econs paper 2. monday the 13th is free. study at bishan? tuesday the 14th is econs at 3pm.. study at bk? mm deelish. wednesday the 15th, chem in the morning. thurs the 16th is maths. friday the 17th is malay, and monday the 20th is econs for 40 minutes!!! wahoo!
er. well tt diden work out the way i wanted it to. ohwell.

i remember admiring abang boy for being so close to mama, like 3-4 years ago.. he was like, in poly? ns? and he was like hugging and kissing mama in public! while MY adik refused to let my mom even come to his [primary] school.. and i remember totally scorning my adik and wishing all guys could be like abang boy.. sweet and loving and manja with their mothers.. hell, *I* wanted to be close to my mummy too! anyway i thot abang boy was the only one of his kind who existed.
until sya told me the "anecdote". hello, itz not even an anecdote! itz like.. a.. fairytale or something.. really! i mean, wow. i almost died when i heard it. i thot you were perfect. and that it doesn't get any more perfect than that. but how, how, HOW could you go a level higher to uber perfection? ohmigod. sorry. excuse me while i melt.
[on a lighter note, i went through a whole day without even clicking my camera! *snaps for ain* finally dropped bio, and as i sed to filza just now, "i feel so liberated!" God knows why i diden do this earlier. would have simplified things some. *more snaps for ain* and i lurve my impostor waterbottle! yeah! also, formulated another set of plans to follow through on last day of skl, next year. do remind me.]
now, back to my melting.

this is how i feel now. and i would love to be like this too, but my dad is around and i duwanna freak him out.
today was mendaki awards. ever since i got 7 points in prelims i've wanted to get anugerah mendaki for o's. thank you, God, for making my wish come true. and making it come true ten times better than i ever imagined it to be.
who thinks i wasn't as crazy as normal [oxymoron?] today? -raises hand- sorry, but i really believe i could have been nuttier. i could have screamed or gasped whenever ex-fren made any movement or anything, but i diden. i could have cheered and woohooed for ex-fren, but i diden. i could have sed yes, but i diden. i don't regret it though. i dunnolarh. i guess itz just that everything ex-fren did today kinda threw me off. how can someone be so incredibly nice to another? itz just not humanly possible! but seriously. acherli he's been doing weird things since yesterday. at least, *I* think they're weird. and it kinda made me wanna be cautious ah.. just in case he was acherli sindiring me or smthg. i will NOT let myself be sindired. what an insult. and i've been thinking and thinking the whole way home.. but it hasn't helped much. i'm still confused. like fana. but how can i samakan this with fana lyking/not lyking eeeskey? i can't. itz not possible. itz not.
anyway letz move on to other topics. saw yas again today. it was really great to see her again.. and i diden know she was at the wiz! but i should have expected it, i mean, she's in tsd and all.. but of cos i diden know tt then, and i only met huanling and tt was already a beeg surprise. ohwell. i'll look out harder next time.
ivan was telling me bout the whole networking thing. it was pretty funny.
i have an impostor waterbottle! i rock! itz a sign!
okay and lastly, i was listening to my discman just now and practically cried when this song came on. cos it seems to fit, somehow.
i could lose my heart tonight if you don't turn and walk away, cause the way i feel, i might lose control and let you stay. cause i could take you in my arms and never let you go. i could fall in love with you.. i can only wonder how touching you would make me feel. but if i take that chance right now, tomorrow will you want me still? so i should keep this to myself and never let you know. i could fall in love with you.. and i know itz not right, and i guess i should try to do what i should do. but i could fall in love, fall in love, with you..

hi. itz been pretty long. i attribute tt to my sebok brother and his seboker projects. but nevermind, i'm here now.
letz see.. something that was totally bothering me today--ex-friend. firstly, the bus stop thing. secondly, i practically sprinted to mac's when filza msged me tt bit of useful info [see? you need to know how to sift through the fakes.], and when i came in, i bumped off her bag to sit so i cld see him. and then toot fren saw me [i think] and sed smthg to ex-fren and then ex-fren turned around and i paid full attention to the mirror instead. aaaaaarrrrrrggggghhh! am i giler? i am rite? i am! and then later, for 30 minutes or so after tt, i kept melataring "ex-fren".. i was trying to talk about sya's fren and i said ex-fren!!! i'm sorry, but to me, that is just.... a sign of obsession which is NOT good.
physical exertion. played floorball. or rather, WATCHED people play floorball. it was fun. i felt very.. invincible.. but of cos, itz because of ili, who never stopped playing defence. as i said about a million times just now, "GO ILI!" for the whole first half the stupid ball diden even graze my fingers. yah. but i believe i was spectacular [for want of a better word] in the second half. yay! go ain! then after tt the class [at least 80%] played screwed-up netball at the bball court. i swear, if ivy singh-lim watched our game, she'd probably faint or smthg. but it was fun!
just now i was in 53, tired, pissed, etc. and then iskandar got in the bus! and for the first 2 seconds i thot he was omar, so i practically fainted.. and then i realised it was him, which made me still wanna faint.. and then of cos i composed myself in time to take a pic for fana. once again, go ain!
has everyone read the script on my foolscap? itz damn cool! tt'll be my short film, preceding the movie.. heh. i have beeg plans for myself. which should not be screwed up by having to take bio unneccessarily! okay? so there!
i cut my hair! it looks.. interesting now. at least it has some kinda character. even if itz abit off, well, at least itz not nothing. and i AM off, rite ex-friend? ohno him again. sorry.
does everyone like the clippie today? i think itz my best so far. you should see the original. i am a born PI. and this one is like, worthy of an exhibition, i swear. wow new idea: exhibition of pics taken by ain's fone. woohoo.
well sorry this is just a lot of disjointed shits. i'm going now. bye. oh wait another brainwave i had in wed [-muntah-] econs: when general conversation is going on, take the opportunity to spout out stuff you'd never normally say in public, e.g. "OM OM OM OM OM OM OM!", "latte rox latte rox.."
ta!

the infrared on my comp is screwing up so i can't upload the latest photos.. but i diden take such nice ones anyway. not too many cute guys roaming around, besides, when they do, they walk by doubly fast so they're like, in malaysia before i think to take out my fone. but don't worry, reflexes are conditioned over time. and samit? jangan harap. he's like, dead to me. physically only, of cos. i will always pray for his good health and happiness. ok what am i talking about? i'm not sure. anyway this morning i took a not-bad one of this geylang methodist guy. heh. oh and i cleaned out my locker just now so i took a pic of it. it looks amazing!!! always operate by this locker PLATINUM rule: make your locker look like what you want your room to look like. i mean, i've always wanted my room to be unmessy but homely and comfy and very ME with pictures all over. of cos, i can't exactly put latte pinups all over right? so the locker is a manifestasi of my ideal room. don't worry. visit me when i'm 21, and you'll get the real deal.
i'm crapping again. sorry. i'm supposed to be doing the malay production proposal. but nevermind. today was acherli cool. apparently sya's fren JUST got his glasses over the hols or smthg. wow. now he is no longer blind. i never knew he was literally blind these past 3/4 years.. now i can forgive him completely. so. you're forgiven, sya's fren! erm. and impostor has a gf!!!!! in his ex-skl! -heartbroken- -not anymore- who cares. adam also has wat.
speaking of whom, i totally tailed [it sounds waaaaaaay better than "stalked"] him to the mrt station. i was eating at mac's and he was already there. then he decided to leave, 80% through my meal. [btw they abolished my spicy CMC! NOW i'm heartbroken. how DARE you, mac's!] so i quickly gobbled down the other 20% and rushed after him. i thot i lost him for a good 10 minutes, until i saw him walking alone at the carpark, holding the new paper, just like beribu2 months ago, the last time i tailed him. wow. it was so cool, i tell you. he is too lawar for words. he IS the cutest guy in the west-district-schools, i promise you. anyway. I HAVE NOT GOBBLED DOWN FOOD since i knew the value of it [circa sec 3?]!!! and it feels so.. urgh. never again. unless adam/impostor/other listees present me with the opportunity, of cos.
oh and yest i took this natural gas for cleaner air 105.. and saw omar!!! and this extremely, and i mean UBER, hot vik. not lying! someone toss the cj yearbook to me! he is so. l.a.w.a.r. anyway itz quite a nice bus, and it hammered in the fact tt mac's is running a potentially successful ad campaign.
hm letz see what else happened. how about.. i failed my bio. i got 30%. i'm not upset. but it did leave a numb feeling. and just now on the way home i talked to filza about it.. and she sed something, i'm not exactly sure wat, that really clinched the decision for me. i just hope it does the same for those-that-matter.
oooh embarrassing incident!!! i was walking with ili to chem and we passed this grp of ppl, including the guy with my op bag. and i was grumbling under my breath to ili about it. and we passed them. then 2-3 metres later, his fren screamed, "hey same bag!" and we all stopped in our tracks [i'm serious] and stared at each other.. and i said something feeble like haha-yah.. and we walked away. i was sooooo embarrassed!!! i dunno why, but i was. itz like ever since i admitted i was "malu" and "takut" and all that [and since i discovered that i DO blush visibly], such malu-takut-blushing incidents are becoming more and more frequent.
OM is so cute, must do a graffiti for him soon. during maths lec, of cos.
okay everyone, this is an open invitation to visit my locker!!!! i'm too proud of it to leave it anonymous forever..
ermm.. wat else.. i kinda forgot.. ok nevermind. will remember and write some other time. nite.
ohyah i'll just cite how stupid i was last night, for general knowledge. i got home. got pissed at my bro for using MY comp. went into my room, punched holes in postcards. slept. woke up at 8.30. slept somemore. phone woke me up at 9. slept somemore. woke up at 5. slept somemore. woke up at 5.05 [yes, it IS possible to sleep for 5 minutes!]. my mom bisinged about how i slept so long already, y cannot wake up? realisation hit. raba�ed in my eye. confirmation: contacts were still in!!! from 6 a.m. to 5.15 a.m. wow. thatz 45 minutes short of a 24 hour cycle. pandai eh? ain, ain.
and all i gained from that eternal eye-damaging sleep was this stupid dream. i was somehow pulled into this musical at the last minute, cos the regular performers were tied up in something or other. sum of my other frens were in it too ah. it was sum dance item. and a whole mess of people were onstage, like, 20-plus ah. and my dance partner was... OM!!!! and during the dance, he was like, poking at my ass with this long galah-type stick.. he was like grinning lyke siao and we were ALL apparently really happy, riang, whatever. and i'm still not sure if that was a nightmare or just a dream.

hi. today was just filled with stuff. lots and lots of it. in other words, it was your typical bishan day. or MY typical bishan day. so let's do this chronologically. or as chronological as it is possible to be when you're dealing with my mind.
woke up. or rather, did a bad imitation of waking up. my head [or the setans in it] screamed at me to just go bak to sleep and wake up later, since i was gonna meet fana only at, oh, i dunno, 1? and it was, oh, maybe 6 a.m. then? so anyway we all know how that turned out. there was no one at bishan ah.. so i just sat down and ate and did more maths. then the cat high vik walked in with his friend plus a skateboard and i just died. really. i like, gasped. that was so off rite? but i dunno. i guess i was half-hoping he'd turn up but half-kicking myself for hoping that. of cos i couldn't stop staring at him again. that ahmad-azhari guy kept walking around with coffee/tea refills. i wanted to kill him, he looked so funny and i couldn't laugh to myself rite?
anyway at around 10-plus i looked up to see baba walking towards me and grinning. i feigned a heart attack, faked a [silent] scream. but the shock was real. and i just couldn't believe she was there. sitting in front of me as if we'd already arranged to meet beforehand. and i remembered wondering how i'd act around her since itz been so many months. but all that slipped away so easily. and it was as if those months of never seeing or talking to each other never existed. we just picked up where we left off. so easily. how come, i wonder? and you know how she greeted me? "i had a feeling you'd be here!" i thot she was kidding. i thot fana told her i'd be there. and i asked her larh. but she sed no, she just had a feeling and decided to come. and it was when i was in 156 alone later that i wondered, "did YOU do this, God?"
oh and guess what else? mc was baba's econs tutor in SA! now, WHY did she not STAY there?!?!?!? ooh and baba also has a bb-like classmate, from the same sec skl too! are they all like that then?
ooh and today wei ming came again. he looked really amused to see me lar.. and he is really really cute now! and yes, he IS in bball.. in zhonghua.. and guess wat else? muksin came! with his gf! at first he just walked in, and glanced in our direction, and back.. then he looked at us again and his eyes terbeliaked. i'm serious. i'm NOT kidding. he was also wearing some uniform so i assume he's in ite or an institute.. sum blue shirt ah. anyway since he already recognised us, i just waved at him, even tho he's not the waving type. haha. and his gf looked at us, so i had to look down and laugh with baba. why were we laughing? i'm not sure. must have been the expression on his face.
also, the deprived gatal girl i mentioned yest yest came too.. and my sk8er boi [heh] decided to leave so i took that pic as he was leaving. i KNOW itz a bad pic, but i was just too skared!!! he seems so confident and everything!!! btw he was studying amaths today. i want to ask his name! or number! or take a real picture! [dreams that will never come true.]
anyway then later i met fana and we went to orchard, where we met a whole load of ppl celebrating nita's birthday [how could i forget? sept 11!].. anushka, who greeted us with, "hey how are you?" which i thot was really cool but surprised me too cos it sounded so casual, as if she expected to meet us there or smthg. oh and sadaf, who was studying at bk liat towers/wheelock.. there's a cute vik working there. go look! he reminds me of frappe, except he's taller and a little thinner. but he's got the frappe style.
also watched legally blonde 2 at lido. it was hilarious. i liked the whole gay dog thing. but i still prefer the first one. ohwell. i think emmet is so cute and sweet!!! and the whole wedding-plans thingy is damn cool!!!
ohyah. did i mention that azhari talked to me and baba? he's so cute! as in funny-cute. his voice is hilarious. anyone who thinks ex-fren's voice is funny will appreciate azhari's voice. haha. but anyway he's really nice.. asked us if we were studying for 'A's.. and asked something about bahas and how he lost to us [who's us? i'm not sure, it cld be rj or tj or sa.].. anyway yah. he's damn nice.. oops i already said that. but i really like nice ppl so yah..
ermmm.. i shouldn't have anything more to say, i think.. acherli i haf lotsa comments on all the stuff baba told me today, but nevermind. malas ah. tataz! and wish me a similarly great day tmr!

anyway hi. yest was cooler than i expected it to be. reached bishan mac's a couple of minutes before 8. so i got my 5 cups just fine. there was this cute vik [i initially dismissed him as "poser" when he walked in, all headphonny and sauntery] who was apparently from cat high.. studying physics with another fren.. hez really cute! as in, cute cute, not cute-looking. and then once i looked up to see that he pulled up the hood on his jacket. and of cos, that was when i melted. wahaha. his voice is nice too. he came up to his other fren who was studying at the table next to me and he was asking if he wanted to go for lunch.
yes so that was guy number one. the number 2 came in after fana lar.. with his gf.. he looks like an older firdaus or something, it was really hard for me not to die there, on the spot.
with respect to familiar people, i saw wei ming and that st. nick's gerl [whose name i still do not know] and i sed hi really gaily to them.. i really miss seeing them around and stuff. and wei ming looked soopa amused ah.. hez so cute now.. hah. he was always cute. oh and johnny, who dyed his hair back. ha. cos he's back in school now, apparently. acherli i dun understand these ppl. they shd just make lepaking an occupation and leave school space for those who really wanna go.
anyway there was this incident: this gerl who resembled a lion walked in ah.. she was wearing an orange tshirt. anyway, she made one big round, during which *I* made a few comments to fana, and then she came and sat at the table next to us.. as in, there was already a guy there [also in orange] and she joined him. anyway they sat facing each other at first, then she moved next to him and he taught her maths or something. fana was saying tt mebbe they're like, irc friends, and that was their first meeting ah, so they had to wear the same colour and stuff. it was really weird sitting next to them and observing her act around him.. seriously.. anyway shez in sec 4 and he's in uni.. so that kinda made it weirder too. aiyah it sounds veh innocent and all here but it was definitely much weirder being there.. she just seemed veh.. gatal.. at one point she was all like, "can i ask you a favour?" and then she practically whispered something while the three of us strained to hear what she was saying. and sorry, no, i diden catch what she sed.
then at nite we went for dinner at jon's salon, where we discovered that mada also dyed his hair back. and there was this cute vik/mim who walked past ah. so we both hissed, "comel!" and i guess he heard, cos he looked at me and smiled. haha. that was cool. ooh and there was this other vik sitting on the suspended chain near the road and swinging on it as he smoked. cute sey. not the smoking part of cos. i just think little things liddat are cute. anyway i had the most real laughter yest, it was just alot of fun..
the script is, well, on itz way i guess. itz halfway there. by next year, i promise. end of next year.
ooh did everyone hear my "action plan" yet? inspired by fana, once again. fana who keeps saying how adam is her ex and cb is now and mugant is for uni onwards, of cos.. so.. my action plan is cooler, and more packed. but acherli.. i dun think i shd put it here.. summary: OM, impostor, latte, ex-fren, olive-green guy. btw olive-green guy is only there cos i can't think of any of mugant's friends. so i'll find a better replacement lar..
sigh.. just rewatched 66.7% of mohabbatein.. and died.. hello, the opening scene is wow enough. the rest of the movie can only get wower rite? so yeah.. i especially love the part where jimmy shergill comes in wearing sum traditional baju AND the skl vest. it looks sooooooooooooo good! ahhhh!!! really!!! really!!!! and last time i cldn't decide who i liked best.. but now i know.. i lyke ishika and karan.. she's so funky and he's so.. mature plus sweet plus fun! haha. then my mom decided she wanted to watch tv so i had to stop. ohwell.
oh just now had tarian which appeared fruitful.. even tho spy was there and OM wasn't. adam was, tho, looking handsomer than ever.. and HL guy, studying in the library, i suppose.
well lotsa work to do. taz!~

itz really veh early to be blogging now.. but anyway.
i was watching as told by ginger just now.. it was her graduation from lucky jr high. and she made this speech.. which was like, really really cool.. something about when they first got into the skl, they walked funny, looked funny, all that.. and they made frens and lost frens.. and yah. then she was telling of some native american legend that if you make your wish to a butterfly, it'll fly up to the heavens and grant your wish. so, as she said, "wish away, butterflies!" it was really cool. and extremely sad. and her mom wished for her not to get too far away. sigh. i dunno. all these farewell-themed thingies really make me.. not exactly sad, but kinda lost yet knowing where i am.
anyway just now sya n i went to tm.. mac's.. and there was this REALLY funny guy called selvam who took my order and he was just so funny. "hello! good morning!" 'hi.. can i haf this [points to the new fish thingy meal]?' "the meal? coffee or tea?" 'tea' "[sets down the tea] tea.. [sets down hashbrown] hashbrown!" '[laughing]' "relek ah, wait awhile for your fish.." well it went something like tt but it was just super funny just now.. cos he was all chirpy and happy and singsongy.. and yah.
anyway on top is adam's car.. or rather, the car he's in love with.. and has been in love with since.. feb, i think.. or mebbe march.. so i couldn't resist taking a [acherli 2] pics of it.
ok bye..