strangely, i'm not sleepy. haven't been since the middle of chem lec. mebbe my body's just used to it, after like, 3 days of late nights. i kan't believe the late nights are not even due to merayauing. but i HAVE lost my short-term memory. i can't remember, for the life of me, what happened on monday. besides going for econs lec and OM not being there as usual la. oh and an encounter with the ever-hot rempah. i think. then kya hu wa?
tuesday was tech again, with costumes. great costumes, guys. i lurve my GodMats' costumes. yes MY GodMats. my idea wat.. to have a mat as the "godmother", i mean. yah and solid has this amazing physical power over me. dahlah. will not elaborate. it makes people like sya puke and people like shaf laugh. [hehe tt rhymes.] so i guess itz not meant for the general public.
yest we went to order costumes and then we went to ritchie riche.. heh. where raven was waiting.. he also covered the cost of hana's drink. haha. well. filza n i will tell her this hari raya, dun worry. and basically, all the people there are full of crap except for the boss, whom we met on saturday. met suff n mus n 2 other sa ppl.. and hazrulnizam n his sister at tm.. and my loyang junior at spotlight.
ohyah juz remembered. went to jj on monday! saw this cute j1 soccer vik. haha. and i lurve ahmad's hoodie, but it kinda won't fit most people, so haha yah.
and speaking of jj, i also met fariq on the train on tues. he sat next to me, then when we reached bv, i got up, and turned to him, and he smiled at me and WAVED! i was juz dying. no doubt bout tt. hope to see him again soon, in better circumstances. i always feel like talking to him, but i'm juz too skared to. one day larh.
juz now was tarian. rempah told me all bout soccer next week. soccer season starts, nak katekan, next week. i really wanna watch. i mean reallyreallyreally. and filza suddenly asked, "ain, why do u want to pon econs lec to watch?" and yah. she hits at the right spots all the time. i don't get how she does it. i still rem, when i dropped bio, it was cos i finally felt ready after talking to her. wow.
yu know, after all the stuff tt rangga sed, esp the initial asking thingy, i really thot it would last longer than this. i diden think problems could crop up so fast. itz been like a month. max. so yah basically i dun get it. and it seems to bother her so much. and now it doesn't seem like itz gonna get better. but we kan always pray, i guess.
i think bayu is SO COOL for having the religion i'm learning about now! but ttz about it. haha. sorry sya n nadia, i dun agree with yu guys. juz like yu dun agree about solid. argh i mentioned him again!

_{i don't get it. when you talk to me itz like i'm the only one in the world. and somehow i feel so special. and then i start to blush. and i get flustered. and my judgement goes even more haywire than usual. the way you speak, the way you look, the way your eyes go here and stay there.. i just don't get how you do it! but you do.. and then i get all confused. and itz very hard to think logically. and the stuff you say! itz like exactly what i need to hear, without knowing it till i acherli hear it!}

okay time for bed yah?

haha i'm watching 40 days 40 nights.. kwite cute.. josh hartnett's character reminds me of jau, abit.. so funny..
went to komala's just now.. played are re are and jaane dil mein thanks to munz's one dollar. haha. next time muz go again. i'll bring 2 one-dollar coins.. and i kan play 4 songs! yay.. but we ate too much.. haha.. i'm still full now, so i kan't get to sleep. kan't do hw either cos i left it in the locker. tmr my bag'll be heavy. heavy AND big. darn. what a combi.
i spent so much time waiting to get out of the house, i watched charlie's angels: full throttle again. haha. takder kerje. with the stupid assignment 19 looming above me somemore.
isn't it funny? that the feringhees make such a big deal out of not having sex, while we're here in singapore saying tt we're not having enough. and there's also been no dispute on the difficulty of not having sex. they made a movie out of the difficulty of having sex!!! it muz form a huge part of their lives, for that to happen..
ooh my ass still hurts. help. i kan't lean back, itz too horrible..
was juz wondering what else to give my mortal. i found this actual cake of soap at levelone for him.. itz about 20-plus bucks, itz a cake of soap in the form of a slice of chocolate cake. itz cute, and it smells like chocolate and everything.. and i mean, although he kan't eat it, he kan like, use it after training.. rite? but i have no money yet.. so i need to get smthg else in the meantime..
laila. a story for the true romantic, written by a hopeless romantic.

Little surfer, little one
Made my heart come all undone.
Do you love me?
Do you surfer girl?
My little surfer girl.

I have watched you on the shore
Standing by the ocean's roar.
Do you love me?
Do you surfer girl?

We could ride the surf together
While our love would grow.
In my woody, I would take you
Everywhere I go.

So I say from me to you
I will make your dreams come true.
Do you love me?
Do you surfer girl?
My little surfer girl.
Little one.
Little one.

Yang mana satu
Idaman kalbu
Tidak tertahan
Menanggung rindu
Mungkinkah jauh
Berbatu-batu
Atau di balik
Awan yang biru

Kalaulah aku
Jadi temanmu
Masak-memasak
Serah padaku

Kalaulah aku
Jadi suami
Kain baju
Aku cuci

Hai tukang masak
Aku tak sudi
Hai tukang cuci
Menyakitkan hati
Aku mencari
Biar berpadan
Asal di hati
Dapat berkenan

Inilah dia
Yang dicari-carinya
Misai tebal
Ular sawa

Ini orangnya
Idaman dara
Lawa tiada
Manis ada

Oh sungguh susah
Cari pasangan
Tak mau yang gagah
Kurus pun bukan
Hati dah bosan
Tidak berkenan
Sebab perangai
Tidak siuman

Biarlah setan
Ataupun hantu
Cukup bulan
Makan batu

Biarlah hantu
Atau jembalang
Balik kampung
Tanam kacang

haha i'm watching labu & labi now, to research the song tt rudy is supposed to sing. funny. dah lamer tak tgk cerite p ramlee.
went for costume research with hana tadie.. the blond vik working at sponge is really lawar. i wanted to steal him away and make him act in our play. acherli alot of ppl were really lawar. including the cook at ritchie riche who asked hana out. haha. i told her she shd have kept him in reserve. oh n ritchie riche is really very nice, wish i'd discovered it earlier, since itz been ard since at least 1994..
i kept on wishing we had a thousand bucks.. i would have really gone to town, getting GodMat outfits. you kan seriously get a complete GodMat outfit at 77th street.. shirts, tshirts, visors, silver accessories, baggy jeans, bags, and even the boxers.. arrrgghh. ohyah speaking of "arrrgghh", the stussy OM figurine dah takder!!! i think sumone bought them up!!! they haf other figurines, but no more OM!!! -sad-
haha. tadie while waiting for hana, i saw bomba in the bus. i cld see his coloured contacts from outside. wahaha.

I had such a terrible dream this morng! It was btwn 8 n 845. Neway, it was abt solid. It was juz horribly real. N now i juz kan't get it out of my mind. Watched a really cool olsen twins movie tadi. Haha dahlah bye.

got this from baba's blog. the first part i dun agree with, but the second part is so apt.

i really didn't know what to say,
you came to talk to me
but i chose to walk away..

though we may not be the way we used to be,
the feelings still stand strong everyday.

ohyah and i met kwee yong!!! she was going home, of cos.. haha.

hey darlinks. if yu dunno yet, the drama survived!!! we officially haf a drama at 7pm on the 17th of this month. tix go at 6 bux. lt 1, rjc. buybuybuy!!! get from me at 98734192.. before wed.
haha. juz a fruitless attempt to get ppl to come and watch.
neway, yah. i was being really piss-prone today. so were most other ppl, i think. yah. den.. ermm.. ohyah sya n i were experimenting with the skateboard, itz kwite fun but i was mostly afraid of falling. i'll try to do the jump thing next time. problem is, the skateboard is kwite the guy magnet.. haha. we just put it there at the foyer and all these j1 guys started coming to try it out. it was kwite cool acherli, considering itz such an old and buruk board.
hm. i juz lurve the sound room! itz sooooo cool! i juz love pressing the buttons, adjusting the volume, this and that.. wow.. i seriously feel like one of those knob-adjusting people in a studio during song recordings. haha.
tarian was okay, cramped giler tho. and rudy forgot to dance! haha. klakar. and the final tarian was cool but the stupid guys were snickering away.
i think the godmats r doing so much better. but like, solid pisses me off sumtimes. and we got lotsa laffter from adzfar n fairuz during their scenes, so it shd be a good thing rite?
speaking of rempah, he was being so unbelievably rempahy today! like, smiling here, smiling there.. stare here, stare there. itz horrible. everytime i look at him and he looks back i feel like i got caught doing smthg i wasn't supposed to do. haha. apeee je. merepekism. well he seriously wants to dance. itz funny. thenn.. hmm..
sya n i were practising tarian in the sound room. how hilarious. it was like a half-metre by one metre space..
there was a millipede fight in the lt tadi. stupid boys. and stupid jus was chasing me with the stupid millipede. which totally reminded me of my dad.
i think nasi knows. or mebbe i'm juz being paranoid. itz just tt i kept seeing him and he kept seeing me today. before pe, i saw him a total of 3 separate times. as in, during the ten mins before pe. then after pe, i saw him again.. then before gp i saw him AGAIN. so yah. juz a thot. hm. sya mentioned lauk juz now. i'm not sure y.
i'm stressing over their costumes. itz a stressful job. shit lar. naseb baik we chose it to be a modern play. wat if it were set in victorian times etc? haf fun getting costumes, man..
2 ahmads are supposed to lend me extremely crucial stuff. they better come thru.
i'm so sleepy!!! tanak bangon sey besok!!!
yu know what, making rempah my in-house happy fren was such a great idea.. except i shd have juz done it earlier. now "happy fren" seems like a "happy t fren"-only concept. whenever i want to say happy fren i say happy T fren. well. juz a thot. once again, he has a cute way of sneezing. he bends all the way into an L. sho cute!
and speaking of cute, i thot i'd immortalise the whole "i-thot-bfg-was-cute" thing here: BFG was wearing glasses on thursday and was looked really cute!!! i almost got swayed, then i saw tt my hero OM was next to him. hah. too late, BFG! hehe.
ohyah. my hero, OM. he was in skl so late today! with burger. haha. and juz now siam walked past, and i was trying to cover sya's eyes but i ended up slapping her face. haha, and to make matters worse, siam saw me doing it! hilarious. but still. itz sad how frens can... well.. forget their friendship. after like 4 yrs. even tho it was juz an acquaintance.. i mean.. it shd mean smthg, rite? we all chatted and went out and all.. and itz juz sad lah.
new nickname! bayu, for nadia's latest crush. ahahaha.
wad an exciting end to the day tadie! it felt like a police chase or smthg. us being the criminals, of cos. or cowardly police running away from the criminals, if yu prefer.
did i forget any cool details? i ran like 5 or so rounds juz now. fun. i was listening to my mp3s.. so yah it was extremely bearable. and very good for my skin colour. jon chen was like, "did yu change race?" and started laughing. apeee je. the laughing part, i mean. well i'm his tanning idol. haha.
righthandside was extra cute today! i was making him throw away his stuff, and i had to like, beat him with my umbrella.. and he was also playing with it.. i haf a picture!!! haha.
ok dahlah. buang ruang je. hahha. it rhymes!

Hm. I survived pe.. N i had like, 2 helpgs of iced lemon tea. Whee! Oh n yest durg tarian spy n lauk were admirg our pro-ness.. Hehe. And tryg to dance too. I find tt so cute. Happy t fren was also tryg to dance our tarian in additn to his. Hehe. Nasi was totally uninterested. Takpe.. N rempah diden bring his scent so he had to use mine. Hehe. Hez hot. No arguments there. Oh n i still wanna work in d sound room. Oklah bye now.

Been a bz life. Sunday i was at airport w fana and WE SAW THE JAPAN SOCCER TEAM! Therez this cute botak guy. N yest i met fadhly in d train home. He has sideburns! N a chain! N hez going 4 ns tmr i think. Same as isky! I haf a new ghim moh crush to replace d lost ones. He looks un-manjen. Heh. N he caught me starg at him. Haha.

darlinkss!!!
the day started out extremely shittily, letz not discuss it. thanks soooo much sya, for accompanying me to the doctor.. yes and thanks to the doctor too. haha. the moment i got into the auditorium, omar was like, "ain yu're sooper late!" haha. well, at least it was a friendly face, or i prolly wouldn't have gone in at all. as everyone knows, we got last, with 26 points. takperlah, i know they tried their best and it wasn't a fair comp. we went to anatolia after that, the guys were devouring one dish after another. it was also nizam's and jau's first time trying out cinnamon buns. hehe. klakar. then hana came, and we watched scooby doo 2: monsters unleashed. i like daphne. what cool clothes, in my favourite colour summore! haha. and later we were at b1 of ps, and this guy was like staring at me, and i realised it was hichael!!! woohoo!!! the genuine, actual hichael! i seriously died. then i was like, "hana, turn now! now! the guy in blue polo shirt and khakis!" and she saw him! woohoo! another hichael-bandwagon-jumper.. haha. i got my purple eyeliner, so fun.. haha. and we went to heeren and i found a nice new bag to buy. wahaha. and we were also checking out clothes for mikhail. hahahaha. whee!
i was in 81 home and this guy got in, he had latte hair, but the bantalish part was dyed blonde!!! wahahaha. hilarious. cute, too. oh n of cos the 81 passed the pet shop, and i caught a glimpse of my chowchow [let's kall it gabe], he was sleeping. kiut!!!

cool. the title of aforementioned movie is a reference to a quote from Francis Bacon, who wrote abt crocodiles, which shed tears when they devour their prey. hence, crocodile tears! wow.
okay this movie is too psychological for me. time to sleep.
nadia thinks OM is cute in a mat kinda way. haha. ttz an interesting view, which i kan't validate objectively, though.

hi. i'm watching this cool jude law movie on star movies. haha. ohyah itz called the wisdom of crocodiles. altho i haf no idea what crocs haf to do with vampires.
neway. took bus to skl to reduce exposure to people. but there was this lumpur who sat behind me all the way, making me feel soopa stupid. ohwellz. best actor is not only best director but best stuntman!!! there was a lull during drama and so rudy put on the westlife cd and jau stood on the table and jiwanged, and rudy ran around with a mike serenading the other two, while best stuntman [also bests actor and director] tried to do skateboard stunts. haha. it was hilarious.
tarian was useless, i dunno why we bother. i also dunno why we think we kan join the comp with such HIGH levels of energy.
i am so brown, i need white clothes to show off!
i was looking and looking for OM, and i cldn't seem to find him, and i juz happened to think of him and then we were just walking and then i heard his name! and i knew he wasn't there, so i thot i was juz hallucinating, then i wondered if it was also another guy's name, cos there were other guys about, and then suddenly we stopped. then i turned and there he was. he was there all the while. wow. with caf. i suppose caf really doesn't stay in the east.
rempah. haha. we met him on the way home. he's weird. i really think hez weird. but more about that in another blog.
forgot to mention, wednesday at jon's salon this ri/rj guy walked past with his rgs sister and mother, and then he looked at me and smiled and waved! haha. no idea who he is.. but i smiled back.. haha cool.
my butt really hurts, itz seriously unbearable. help.
i have new solid graffiti on my script. whee!
update on bomba: sideburns gone, rems steps relatively well, dances well. heh. i'm kwite lucky, i realise. and so is shaf, with her sbf/mdp.
so i'll see yu all tmr.

Wad a FUCKING PISSIFYING day. Some days it juz doesn't pay to get up.

i know you, i walked with you once upon a dream.. i know you, the gleam in your eyes is so familiar a gleam.. and i know it's true, that visions are seldom what they seem.. but if i know you, i know what you'll do--you'll love me at once, the way you did once upon a dream.. --from sleeping beauty

wow. what a day. yah went to t2 for breakfast, sat there till like 1130.. maths paper was not too bad, i think. of cos i diden know the formula for volume of solid of revolution so i kinda got stuck there. horrible. and penat2 i learned the y-squared and whatever graphs, but it diden come out.. and it was even hotter today! i was positively dying.
then we went to far east.. met shafa.. i wasn't really surprised, seeing as jon's salon is her central perk.. haha.. hm.. ohyah sponge and fluid are related rite, ttz so cute!! we kept on checking out earrings and shoes and clothes until i finally realised it was 620.. haha.. den had dinner at fish n co.. [argh ronel, jasmine's brother, is cute!] and then dropped by orchard again, where they had this bottle of johnson&johnson's bedtime lotion, for free trial. i took 2 helpings.. now i smell divine!!! haha.
dear sun, pls stay out tmr. thanks.
somehow there's not much to say tonight. ohwell. takpe. the less the better. ohyah. i know! OM rocks. hez juz incredibly handsome and cute. haha. juz now sya n i had a little debate on whether OM is happier than happy T fren. opinions? all are welcome. haha. [as long as they're in favour of OM.]
dahlah. there's much to do tmr. bye.

Haha i'm tryg to decide whether to get a second breakfast or not.. There was a really cute st pat's guy in 53. He had rangga hair n brown eyes! Woh. N pillarish build. I had another righthandside dream. Kan't rem wat tho. D t2 bk is too open n bright for my taste. Well. Cya.

some people are just SO weird. give me the fictional mikhail any day.
watching my siblings play bubble bobble on playstation. i was so totally reminded of playing playstation during class chalet! that was the ultimate fun man! oh and the laptop is acherli on my lap. i think i'm gonna get roasted lap after this. haha.
i'm bored. tmr is maths. i dunno what to do till then. it involves going to the t2 bk and relaxing on the armchairs, but i dunno how that'll be. wake up at 8? wake up at 9? i dunno. maybe juz a simple wake up at 7.. then i need to decide what book to bring. cos i kan't just relax there and stare into space, can i?
today was really kwite nice after all. bk was sooooo empty.. and OM looked incredibly good today, espesh when he was playing hula hoops. hehe. ooh and espesh ESPESH when he changed shirt!!! wahlau.. i was dying. i swear. yu shd have seen me melt next to the vending machine.
yah the only glitch was prolly the econs test. it was so hot and muggy! i tied my hair up highhigh, bunned it, and drove the cekak right into my head to avoid stupid fringe annoying my face. and rolled up my sleeves and stuck my skirt high up. sorry, but i was sweating, it was tt hot! and i guess the good thing abt it being a hard paper [for me] was that i diden have lotsa free time during the paper to stress abt how badly i was doing. haha. how off. after checking my mcq twice, i retied my hair, and then time was up. darn. should have tried to sneak a look at OM. but then again, he was HOW FAR AWAY. unlike stupid [juz kidding] happy T fren, who was like, a metre or so away. i think sya iz eternally grateful to the gerl who diden turn up. haha. [this laptop is starting to roast my lap.]
i walked into the lt expecting the worst, but they were doing the wedding scene! i walked in juz as laila was walking away, and i looked up and saw best actor sitting up there watching it, and offering his suggestions. i seriously died. apparently the guys were pretty serious about the rehearsal.. i'm so touched, seriously! wow. and they told me tt he demoed alot of roles for them.. wow. looks like best actor is best director too. i think if i had my way, i'd make him president. haha. he really is great.. after the guys left, we fooled around alot.. i mean, how many times can you do makcik and bimbo scenes rite? we did the confrontation scene twice.. and aisyah makes a great firdaus.. she did it so well, yu'd never know she had trouble as rita.. yah it was fun.. hope to get the godmats next time.
okay i'll just relate my horrible nightmare now. there was this forest, and there was this big hill in the forest.. and i was at the foot of the hill with righthandside. we were sitting on this huge log. then i turned and saw batu at the top of the hill. burger was there too. she put her arms around him from behind and hugged him tightly. and i got all disgusted or smthg and i squealed to righthandside, "righthandside, look! make her stop!" and he was like, "aiyah juz forget it lah.. dun bother with her.." so i turned back to him ah. i could hear their voices, i could hear them talking, even though they were right at the top and we were right at the bottom and it was a big hill. then she moved to stand infront of him and they hugged, and they swayed from side to side, then they rolled down the hill! i could see her grinning. anyway then i just threw all caution to the wind and grabbed righthandside's arm and screamed for him to make it stop. and all he could do was try to calm me down. oh what a nightmare.
that shd be it. byebye.

pita bread is my new favourite food! woohoo!

today was really kwite a nice day, considering.
woke up fine, got dressed fine, saw fariq.. heheh.. tak sempat senyum tho.. cos dee2 came in too with kitfei so i was talking to them.. haha. i kan't believe tt annoying ac guy is in her jr class.
only burger was at the bus stop, talking to sum man.. i thot he was gonna miss the bus.. yah and basically, NO ONE was there! bo-ring.
chem was not too bad. i was complaining about the distinct lack of ionic equilibria. haha. there was a grand total of 3 qns, 2 of them in mcq. as usual i diden get to finish the paper, but i did most of it so i'm fine. did mcq for 10 mins [stopped at qn 9], then decided to move on, and went back to mcq in the last 10 mins. mostly my ass was hurting. yu know what? i think itz from sitting for 12 hrs at bk. sheesh.
i diden see too many people.. hm. whytee.. alot of siam.. and i mean ALOT. spy.. non-fren.. green fren.. sluardalam.. bomba.. sum righthandside and sum rempah.. ohyah and sum air [like i kare!]. and not forgetting OM, WHOM FILZA STOLE FROM ME DURING THE CHEM TEST!!!
went to airport after skl. nice. it was devoid of studying ppl. hehe. seriously. i dun think my butt can stand another 4 hrs of hard plastic bk seat! mebbe i shd go to the t2 one tmr..
i want purple eyeliner. remind me to get.
oh. and solid has nice music taste!

[in a marah tone] hei OM!
[OM turns]
[lying thru teeth] OM, i dun like you!
--
OM, are you listening, i don't like you!

an alternative:
[isky starts walking away]
[in the same marah tone as above] hey isky!
[isky turns]
isky, i like you.
--
isky, are yu listening? i like you! [run away for dear life]

i was supposed to add a disclaimer: me not going to do vol of solid of revolution DOES NOT mean itz not gonna come out, it juz means i've given up on it.
well anyway i'm watching romeo now. and i cld juz die, hez too hot! he has the sexiest voice on the planet, he juz looks soooooooooo good, and he raps and skates and plays bball, and bikes, and EVERYTHING! so yah. my new favourite celebrity. romeo.

woke up at 6, decided not to, and woke up again at ten.. haha. then i lazed around till 11-plus.. until fana saved the day by msging me to meet at the airport.. haha. so i got there ard 230.. and did lotsa chem mcqs.. haha.. and sum structured.. saw ziwei.. but no one else interesting ah..
my mom is on that you-haf-a-bf kick again. waddehell. i have no idea why she thinks up such ridiculousness. what kan i possibly do to convince her of the stark truth?
need to study summore tmr. but where and when? hm. will play it by ear as usual. the mp3 player is screwing up already. i dun geddit. issit juz me?
wat flattering article came out abt julie? 2 ppl haf asked me abt her already.. haha.

ooh i forgot to add. smalam i had this freaky and horrible dream. i was in my balcony [2nd floor], and suddenly dee2's face popped up outside the window. hello! second floor! yah she was with asilah and another gerl. and she was like, "hey ain!" and i sed hey back.. and then she asked, "hey yu with nasi rite?" and i was like -WHAAT?- and she just grinned and sed, "yah i heard it from [someone].. how come yu din tell me?" and then asilah sed, "oh yu're his messenger rite?" and then there was sum weird confused argument, and i woke up as quickly as i cld.

just watched rugrats: all grown up.. tommy is really cute now! haha. chuckie wears braces. phil has gross long hair and wears a cap. haha.
anyway. biaser ah, niari woke up at 6.. but had more time to lounge around.. so i ate second and third helpings of breakie, wrapped the present [only to reach skl later and find out that i get to keep the sweater after all. haha.], etc. i found a new cute mim guy. ac. same age. heh. yah i'm really happy for everyone who gets to stay, most of all, my mortal.. and no i haven't thought of anything nice enuff to give him..
drama was fine.. and now i know why solid was so pissed. aiyah.. so sad. and to think he was so happy smalam. haiz. righthandside was being his normal cute self, he's improving, it shows! tarian was okay. what is WITH bomba's hair? -dies- and rempah. sheesh. tanak masuk tarian cakap jelah. tembak..
shall i be honest? i dun think we'll make it by the thirtieth. itz not just the acting, itz everything else! the props, the tarianS, and everything! this is sad. well, i know we're all trying our best here. [except for exceptions, of course.]
haha. just now OM descended the stairs and i ran figure of 8s around shaf and sya. it was fun, but sya got dizzy and broke formation. sheesh. well OM, i wish you just weren't as lawar. but i guess yu kan't be.
watching happy T fren dance the lenggang step was really hilarious! he looked sooooo cute!!! haha. hm wonder if we cld kick out rempah and take him instead? heh. how adorable tt wld look. him with his cheeks and elastics [or whatever they're called].
wat annoying lumpurs, in the train. hmph. the only reason i was standing there was cos it was bekas yellow guy with big eyes, and the fariq lookalike.. haha. who got off at tanah merah, btw. it cld possibly be his brother, i swear! haha.
was wondering if ms norhuda musa was in any way related to rempah's dad, since both are related to shafia. shaf?
had my deeelish caramel creme pie again! whee! sorry sya, i guess not everyone likes it. but how cldn't they? it rawks! pointed out solid's hse to sya on the way home.. haha. sorry i think i'm annoying everyone with my current solid obsession. juz tell me if yu get irritated. oh and i diden get sesat during the walk home. in fact, itz kinda nice. i shall try it again next time. =D
well this seems really disjointed. maafans. oh hey, kan i choreograph the yus-jau dance? hehe.

i'm gonna chicken out. i just know it. itz juz too skary lar..
too many short entries yest. well. sorry, i was juz feeling stupid, and i was trying to distract myself. anyway i got a ticket, zoomed into the theatre, and zoomed out after it ended. for some reason, there were lotsa kids. apee je. i wldn't bring my kids to watch tt show. tengoklah sum cartoon or whatever. ANYWAY. no couples surrounded me! woohoo! i was acherli flanked by 2 groups of girl friends.. haha. so yah tt was kinda why it went fine. also, random acts of kindness rock. it makes yu feel so good inside! you'll juz be glowing with the knowledge of what yu did.. -sigh- yah i took 518 home cos i cldn't handle the train ride back. it was freezing tho. at the end of the ride, everything i touched seemed to be water. but it wasn't, it was juz.. cold.
ohyah and i really enjoyed the "freeze" thing. haha. it was hilarious. i mean, *moof*? haha. i was seriously roaring with laffter.
solid was really happy today. smiling here, smiling there. twirling and dancing around. singing his cute mat song. and he seriously blossomed at our suggestion! he got all excited and stuff, and i was just dying there to see him so happy. and he acherli joined us for our discussion after that, instead of antisocialising. it was almost unreal. sorry, am i too solid-oriented? haha. he still has tt weird power lar..
anyway we walked to the malay cupboard after tt, and saw OM studying at the batu table. hrm. i juz scratched sum of it off this morning. wonder if they noticed. and maybe i'm paranoid [okay, i probably am], but decaf looked up and nudged him. yargh. well, at least i got to see him.
apparently the heart cushion on my bag is the exact one izzat has. hm. is tt suspicious? i dun even remember who gave it to me. went to heeren, but i dun think the shop was open, half of them were closed!!! apeee je. so i went to the post office, chickened out, and got sum gold paper from popular. but i swear i'll chicken out tmr too! neway. rushed to the padang, thinking i was gonna be late.. i think i managed to catch like the last quarter or the last half of the guys' game. why does NJ wear shorts? cam cacat gitu. it doesn't help tt most of them are short, effectively making them look like sec skl kids. [kids? haha. who do i think i am?] they could juz wear those slacks things in red.. and i din think the game was boring at all, altho i diden always understand it. i kinda thot it ended too soon. haha. ili's coach is really funny: "second strikeout of 2004!" haha.
i din study at all today. sorry, i was really really sleepy! do yu realise that i haven't been able to wake up early for the entire week? that includes tmr and sunday. puh-leeze. you dare to call this a holiday? and if i'm not sleeping, i'm too into white oleander. kan't say i like the storyline, but it juz draws me in. after tt will be animal husbandry, which the reallyreally cool someone like you was based on.
my voice seems a wee bit different. yeah! mebbe i'm getting a sore throat! okay. now, back to my book. i will study tmr. 8 a.m. i promise. but i won't promise not to chicken out.

D movie was reallyreallyreally nice. 2 of d boys r damn cute. And d gerl is cute too! But wad a sad endg.. :'(

Oh good news, there'll only b one couple. On my left. Haha.

Yoyoyo wassup.. Haha. My first time watchg movie alone so i feel kinda weird n stupid.. And i'm gonna be flanked by 2 couples.. Darn.. The perk is tt i get a nice seat in row M. Haha. Well i'll check back in later..

Imagine me and you, I do
I think about you day and night
It's only right
To think about the girl you love
And hold her tight
So happy together
If I should call you up
Invest a dime
And you say you belong to me
And ease my mind
Imagine how the world could be
So very fine
So happy together

{Refrain}
I can't see me loving nobody but you
For all my life
When you're with me
Baby the skies will be blue
For all my life

Me and you
And you and me
No matter how they toss the dice
It had to be
The only one for me is you
And you for me
So happy together--Turtles

ah i'm bored. and pissed with myself. went to study.. but halfway thru i realised that i diden bring my amides!!! arghs. so i had to plow through the REST, which was still alot. i wanted to die. it was juz horrible, and i kept forgetting stuff. i tell yu, it wasn't so bad last year..
and i hate couples. yes i do. there was only one yest. today there were three! and one of them HAD to sit at the next table! and bising2 all the way. sheesh. thank god i had earfones.
there was this guy.. he was the SPITTING IMAGE of my mortal! i was juz dying. but he diden linger, unfortunately.. and no, he wasn't my mortal, prolly a couple of years older, and he was speaking malay so yah. hm i acherli love these viks who r acherli mims. i mean, yu get viks, without the language barrier.
so anyway, tmr is chem and econs.. and i haven't really done shit. darn. and to top it off, i'm like, broke. 12 hrs studying outside with only 5 bucks? i had to break into my earnings to keep alive. okay i'm exaggerating, but not abt the 5 bucks thing.

Open your eyes and take in everything that you see
Look at all the colors, red, yellow, blue, & green
We can take an airplane and fly across the globe
Look down upon the colors, everyone come on, let's go
Because

Love, love, love, la la love
La la love makes the world go 'round
Love, love, love, la la love
La la love makes the world go 'round

Open your ears and listen what the world has to say
Hear the birds & bells and you will have a brighter day
Everyone has a special song deep inside their heart
If you want, you could sing with us, it's the perfect place to start

Love, love, love, la la love
La la love makes the world go 'round
You can't hurt me with the things that you do
I'll pick up dandelions and I'll give them to you
Puppy dogs, kitty cats swimming through love

Love, love, love, la la love
La la love makes the world go 'round
Love, love, love, la la love
La la love makes the world go 'round
Main vocals: Bubbles
Backup vocals: Blossom & Buttercup
Guitar: Blossom & Buttercup
Drums: Bubbles

this morning i forgot what time i usually go to the airport, so i kinda hung out at home and wasted abt half an hour. haiya. ohwell. nemind. today was useful in that i figured out what to avoid in the common test.. namely volume of solid of revolution, p&c and.. ok i forgot, but itz written on my foolscap.
btw ppl shd juz NOT stare at me. i dun look THAT weird/interesting/whatever.
i thot the perfume [female, i think itz kalled] was kwite nice.. unfortunately i was broke, having spent my bucks on my stomach and eyes and ears.
the new mp3 player is great, i juz hate earphones, as everyone knows.. it hurts..
juz discovered tt the song irwan was singing, "semua tak sama/tak pernah sama/dulu kau ada rambut/skarang kau takda rambut", iz padi's semua tak sama. haha. itz nice..
haha when i reached the airport juz now, there were juz glops of viks all over the arrival hall, in all shapes and sizes! i was simply dying. haha. and later i saw ac guys.. apparently sum skl trip.. kool sia.. i wanted to like hop on the plane with them.. ohwell..
noisy kinderland kids were there too. yu shd have seen the heads of the studying ppl snap to look at them, and then not knowing whether to laugh or cry. haha.
and juz now when the perfume woman approached me, i had to hold in my laffter, cos i was juz remembering what shafia sed abt perfume ppl.. haha.

Dalam benakku lama tertanam
sejuta bayangan dirimu
Redup terasa cahaya hati
Mengingat apa yang telah engkau berikan

Waktu berjalan lambat mengiring
dalam titian takdir hidupku
Cukup sudah aku tertahan
dalam persimpangan masa silamku

Coba tuk melawan getir yang terus kukecap
Meresap ke dalam relung sukmaku
Coba tuk singkirkan aroma nafas tubuhmu
Mengalir mengisi laju darahku

Semua tak sama .. tak pernah sama
Apa yang kusentuh apa yang kukecup
Sehangat pelukmu .. selembut belaimu
Tak ada satupun yang mampu menjadi sepertimu

Apalah arti hidupku ini memapahku dalam ketiadaan
Segalanya luruh lemah tak bertumpu
Hanya bersandar pada dirimu
Ku tak bisa, sungguh tak bisa
mengganti dirimu dengan dirinya

Sampai kapan kau terus bertahan
Sampai kapan kau tetap tenggelam
Sampai kapan kau mesti terlepas
Buka mata dan hatimu relakan semua ..

My Mormon name is Normalene Cassinda!
What's yours?

i am bored. i am dying. i am supposed to be doing work, but what haf i been doing since i got home just now? well, basically, i bummed around watching ada apa dengan cinta. [again.] then i bummed around in my room reading. i am currently bumming around watching pretty woman. [again.] and i realise i only have 2 days of burger king left. sheesh. how utterly shittifying. well. whatever. at least today wasn't a total waste.
ohyeah there's a new hottie on my fone! heh. check it out whenever.. and the best part is, he's only 3 years younger! haha.
yu know what, i think i terlajaked to the airport today cos it juz wanted to remind me to go there tmr. and the day after. well it looks like i kan stay there all day now. yeah.
chem with OM on thursday. i kan hardly wait. not.

My ass is dying. Kyu? Cos i terlajaked my stop, ttz y. Too freakin sleepy i guess. Well swimmg was great, sun abit d shy but i got a tan! It started pourg juz after 12 tho, bad luck. Well, back to my book to keep awake. Btw 'msg in a bottle' sux. Horrible endg.

i juz watched legally blonde for like, the billionth time. yest i acherli watched you've got mail as well. haha. meybe if i'm in the mood i'll watch another one tonight. haha. since my brother's juz coming back from camp tonight..
sigh. woke up late today. what horrible cramps. anyway yah i woke up at like 2 so it was too late to mandi and get out of the house. sheesh. damn off. i really wanted to watch. ohwellz. i caught humraaz instead. hehe. it was.. cool.. but waaaay too long as usual.
hana has a picture of solid!!! i diden know!!! haha. i want!!!
ohyah and whoever has nickelodeon, there's this show called romeo, featuring whats-his-name, of cos.. and his cute liddle brother, that adorable angel in honey.. itz sundays at 4.. and i lurve romeo hez so hot!

harloeharloeharloe!!!! did i have a great day or what??
firstly i woke up at 7, decided it was impossible, and cancelled plans to go to nus open house. went back to sleep and bummed around the house, went to skl at 2.. met hafie, maly, nurul n shaheda at bv.. haha. the first thing hafie sed was, "hey i rem that bag!" well i'll cut to the chase.. met sya at city hall, late as usual.. saw dani.. and went to catch ili playing. unfortunately, we missed her, so we just went to the tent and started watching rugby 7s.. burger.. nasi.. lauk.. hehehe.. damn cool sia.. but they lost to ac.. but they trashed cj, if i rem correctly.. ili's family was there. so cool!!! and we were like sitting on garbage bins at the side of a lumpur passageway. damn fun. we even saw the swinging mats lounging round on the memorial and being confronted by police.. like woh.. ohyah saw halim.. but diden see my happy fren.. ohwellz.. yu kan't get everything yu want right? also, the suaners were there.. yu know.. suaner original, big suaner, spy n non-fren.. stefanie smokes. gross. i think perut really rox. hez excellent! haha.
after watching alot of stuff, we decided to leave.. then we saw happy T fren, and then we went to eat at komala's.. damn nice.. as usual.. did more of those "when i'm with OM.." thingies.. and i thot the "journalist" was kinda cute.. hehe. then sya left, then ili had to go so we left.. and it was raining outside, so we walked on the inside.. then filza, who was walking infront of me, grabbed my hand, so i looked up. and i saw sum nondescript vik.. whom i'd never look at twice.. and next to him.. DECAF. and i juz like, froze there and stared at him. hahaha. off. also met ivan tan and MAG at city hall. haha. ooh and i saw this frappe/OM/sluardalam hybrid with a diamante stud in his ear. nice!
watching coyote ugly now. lurve it. haha. juz got it at gramophone juz now.. every time i walk into a vcd place i go nuts. i still have 2 more vcds to watch. i swear, i'm crazy. so i promise the next one i'm getting will be honey. i promise. no more frivolous vcd buys. ooh and i'm currently reading message in a bottle.. itz lovely.. sighh..

i hate rempah!!!!!!!!!!!!
okay acherli i dun. itz juz.. hez so weird, you know? we were going home juz now and rempah was there too and at first he sat with us den he decided to stand and he was juz standing there, in front of me, and i was bored and i had nothing to do so i just looked around ah, at all of them. and i mean ALL OF THEM. and maybe itz juz tt my eyes lingered slightly longer on rempah or maybe he juz happened to notice every time i glanced at him. ANYWAY, he juz kept on perasantaning about it!!! and i was juz dying!!! seriously!!! i was dying! i was embarrassed! i bent down to my bag for the longest time, cos i was juz too embarrassed. argh. he is weird. there's no other word for it.
best actor's joke of the day. oh i know who's Fairy GodMat's mother! --who? --Fairy GodMak! he is so funny. i feel bad tt he got home late tho.. oh and he was like imitating Po from teletubbies.. haha. tt is like ancient, but it was juz hilarious! i still find it odd tt he looks so serious but iz the exact opposite of that.
hm. it was cultural exchange day today. best actor was explaining solat principles to 2 vik frens of them. and we were explaining guy-gerl adabs to nita..
argh i got a C for my maths. itz really sad. and i'm even sadder about the fact tt i'm sad, cos as far as i know, i've never been affected by abysmal results before.. this is disturbing.. look what you've done to me, J2 life! well. it was the first lecture test of the term, so i forgive myself. wish i wldn't be so sad tho.
i found KC's locker!!! heheh. and.. i haf righthandside's skl schedule! woohoo! congrats to me!
alrite i better go. ohyah i borrowed a nicholas sparks and a MHC from the library juz now. kan't wait to finish them! yay! oh and thank God for hockey camp next week, i'm gonna study at the airport.. bk, here i come!!!!!!!!!!

my body is aching madly. to put it accurately, i feel as if i've been kayaking the whole day. really. i was pondering it while eating just now. haha.
my mortal thinks i'm madly nice. so do i, acherli. i juz hope he never finds out the degree of madness. hez so cute!
this morning i was really really tired. i haf no idea why. i guess it was like the long day yest plus drama plus tarian. which i've been having for 2 weeks already so i really dun get why i'm only tired NOW. anyway, so i went to sleep in the train, despite fears of the drooling incident repeating itself. then i groggily woke up at lavender or bugis or smthg, and promptly went back to sleep. then i started to dream of batu, then someone poked me roughly awake. it was ili. with her trademark kejut-orang efforts, so reminiscent of my mom when SHE's trying to wake me up in the mornings. anyway then shaf stood infront of me and talked to me lyke normal, and in the middle of our conversation i noticed tt there was a jj person nx to me. i thot it was a gerl at first, so anyway i juz turned to look. and it was like fariq!!!!!!!!!! sitting right next to me! i acherli did a double take. yeeks. buat malu je. he was listening to his discman n smsing. no i did not read his smses. then at bv i got up and turned around and we smiled again. haha. yay. that kept me smiling till i reached skl.. haha.
and maybe the fact tt OM diden do the alternate thing again helped.
gp sucked tho. i was dying to sleep during the second paper, but i cuden!!!! it was too too horrible to finish with sleeping time to spare. i finished my summary proudly and looked at the clock to realise tt i had half n hour left! sheesh.
hm. we were going to mac's juz now. for some reason we used the traffic light and had to walk past the stupid hawker centre, where i spotted ex-fren first. then i watched as he joined a table with OM sitting there. and i heard them call his name as we walked the 2 metres away from them. shit. this suaning will never end as long as i am me.
and guess what? i made this guy fall larh! like flat out on the floor! because of OM! i was walking to the spiral stairs from the lockers and i saw OM with BFG, but i diden follow them, i just went to the foyer really quickly. then while walking in the foyer i quickly looked for OM, just to watch him finish walking to the canteen. and i was just walking n watching, and then this ac guy and this girl comes spinning into my line of walking, and since i'm busy staring at OM, i bump into the guy. hard. hard for him, anyway. i diden feel a thing. and he just went spinning around and fell!!!! in the foyer! in front of everybody! i felt mortified. i apologised to both of them. i juz kept on apologising. they sed it was ok. but i felt soooooooooooo bad! i felt like one of those gone-case stalkers who don't give 2 shits abt what goes on around them. am i that far gone?
on another note, dialogue session was okay. i guess. bearable. green fren was there. haha. juz had to say tt. bye.

Watched honey yest. Damn nice sia. I'm in love w lil romeo. Haha. N honey's bf. And hiphop. N hoodies. Tt was d highlight of my day. D lowlight of my day? Falling down d ghim moh stairs. Yowch. Bruises everywhere. Luckily no witnesses. Well, remind me to watch tad hamilton! Topher grace rox.

5 mins b4 gp n i'm blogging. Keep bumpg into my mortal. But muz control myself. Will not shove my sweater into his arms. Acacia laz nite was kinda borg. Mebbe cos d boy iz so cute. Tiny droplets of rain glisteng on my sweater lyke pieces of glitter. I smell maggi. Lookg forward to my movie later. At least i dun have to keep closg my eyes. Oh btw. I will not open anymore rajiv msgs. Eeps soopa loud thunderboom. Bye.

haha. today was such a cool day. drama prac, as i mentioned. and then we went to orchard cos we wanted to check out the cheerleading. do you KNOW how many hot ruggers were there? wow. there was this cute lumut-looking one, from sum ite.. and suresh IS cute, but somehow, i think OM looks better. haha. sorry fana. tt irritating white badak guy was there too. with his stupid silver cekak, no less! what is his PROBLEM? well the cheerleading was okay. sum ppl should smile more/properly. for example, ivan. i guess he was skared. everytime he's skared he doesn't smile. but lumut is good at smiling. and they weren't extremely confident, yu cld tell. stole steps from bring it on, i saw.. but i like the little dance thing.. nice.. and my biggest complaint is tt it was too short. ohwellz. ooh sya, happy T fren was there! diden see nasi again tho. darn.
thenn.. ohyah we went to lido, ate, then to paragon marketplace.. wow. itz such a high-end supermarket. therez this whole section of shelves with organic/low fat/gluten-free/low sodium foodstuffs. it was called "food 4 life". i'm serious!!! there was like, instant nasi and cute stuff liddat. and hard-as-stone rice cakes. i found sunless tanning lotion, and--wait for it--the ice tea deodorant! all 4 bottles of it!!! haha. but i diden haf the funds so i juz bought the deodorant. haha. well since i haf like 2 types of tanning products sitting in my room, i thot the sunless one cld wait. and we tried to find smthg for my mortal, but cldn't find anything that was EXACTLY right. then we hung out at the mag rack and read about kaks shahidah aziz, nydia, adila h. and mars.. and realised what a pathetic batch WE are.
then we realised it was late so we rushed out of there, but not before i spotted frappe n his gf at starbucks. hehe. well he smiled at me, woohoo! but they looked kinda unhappy so i diden linger. anyway we rushed all the way to royal plaza hotel.. and met ammar on the overhead bridge!!! hez still hot. haha. i was like, "ammar! hello!" and continued rushing. then after maghrib we went to mccafe, decided not to get anything, then went to wisma.. met adammmm!!!! [and his gf..] he was botak!!! he looked funny! at the tangs/lido underpass! haha. i was juz dying. he looks kinda like jon now. as in my obs instructor. hehe. but dun worry adam, i still like you. ohyah and i saw hasan n muslim at the surau. haha when i told filza their names she started laughing.
i bought my darling mortal 360g of some of my favourite things in the world. and itz so valuable, i'm gonna ask shaf to pass it to him instead of risking things by putting it in the class tray. sheesh. so much crime going on in rj now.. anyway i hope he likes it.. i'm pretty sure it was made with love. not mine, but passable anyway yah?
hehe we were having a picnic during drama juz now.. filza's nachos-in-a-biscuit, and oreos.. i think jau iz extremely observant. he looked at me, and he was like, "wow you're wearing fir! i'm so touched!" haha.
i read something juz now.. and i haf to say, he sounds really sad.. but at least i know hez human, and that there's a good side to him after all. so i dun haf to feel so bad abt liking him.
isky got BCC. well i hope he does well, whatever he does..
oh and Q&A of the day! what's primadonna? --before madonna. courtesy of jus and best actor. wahaha. full of crap man..

Wad a relaxg drama prac. N nasi was ard for my viewg pleasure! (There was also lauk. N rempah.) And righthandside! Being his normal cute self. N i think axe iz acherli kinda sexy. Cldn't stop starg. Darn.

filza's not replying!!! argh. does tt mean tt there's no drama tmr? i feel stupid and irresponsible. okay mebbe shez sleeping, but still. confirmlah dulu kalau yepun. okay i'll juz wake up at 8 tmr to check my fone, then go back to sleep. k? okay.
i feel terrible. din noe itz been liddat for him.. and if he'd only just TOLD us what was wrong, i would have begged to let him leave! i swear! yargh. i feel terrible. i feel mean. i'm so sorry yah.. i am!!!
and i'm still confused about wat i'm gonna do with regard to my [extremely adorable and lawar] mortal. [ohyah juz now during extra chem i was sleeping ah.. haha.. and i kept having dream snippets of various guys.. including abovementioned mortal! hmm..] neway, these days i keep on thinking of the first time i noticed him. haha. i'm reading the entry now. 5 jan, 10.38pm. "was watching the 6pm storyline, or trying to.. and i found the first official cute j1!!! official as in, i diden know he existed before. hahaha. yes he's a vik. and yes he's poser. but hez so hot!!!" haha. that's so funny. it really is! haha. sorry. and i also rem watching him having his training while we met our junior class, and then later, that night, seeing him and hearing shaf talk to him.. and barely hearing the words as she sed he was in her class. we were outside lt 1 then. the little path to the canteen. and it was like night-time. and i remember screaming and jumping around and stuff, as the night breeze blew. sigh.. hard to believe more than a month has passed since then. and tt he might possibly be gone. i'm praying for yu, my mortal.. the "first official cute j1".. please stay..

hm.. juz thot of sumting.. fana muz be sunk in depression or smthg.. since her darling got BCD.. sigh.. feel better, fana!

lotsa little surprises today. this cute ns guy kalled dev in the train. haha. tilani's cuter but dev juz reminded me of latte. haha. and i was staring at him and thinking, "this is what latte will looks like when hez older.." hehe. i'm so sleepy! okay, i'll continue first. pe was great, i finally saw the strategy in frisbee.. and after tt i did a very slow 30 min run.. which included like 10 minutes of incline! i was seriously dying. haha. next week mebbe i'll up it. then when i walked out, nasi was rite there, juz outside the weights room! i was seriously dying [again].
i got an a2 for malay. i almost kan't believe it. really. but i AM glad, at least my year of taking malay when i really diden have to AFTER ALL wasn't a waste. and i got an a for chem test. 75%. haha. that was a pleasant surprise too.
and after skl juz now we were praying at the surau, and taufik was sitting outside after tt. so i decided to juz say hello. i was juz surprised, cos hez really friendly but it was like the first time we talked. neway, remember the time i ponned a wednesday and i went out with fana, and saw nasi? and i was wearing tk uniform and i went to eat at jon's salon and he was there with his police friends and they were discussing why i was wearing tt uniform. well neway, it turns out he thot i was my sister, cos it cldn't be me cos i was in rj. haha. well itz juz funny.
wahaha. ili braked when she saw lumut! ..okay sorry, i juz agree with what sya sed last year, about how you can never really stop liking someone once yu start.
swimming was great, there's now a visible tan! one gripe tho--no cute guys! haha. takpe. we had fun discussing ppl and stuffz.. and now i feel extremely moisturised, etc. why am i crapping? i shd stop.

jasmine is lawar. solid is sad. filza and i were feeling so sad and helpless. kiter tanyer pon dier tanak bilang. sigh. never seen him liddat before.. writing jiwang lyrics on the board, arguing with hadri.. it was skary.. wonder whatz wrong. and my mortal! i got the letter from him today. the last sentence made me cry, itz so.. nice.. and now i'm juz thinking of a way to like, give him the thing if he does leave. but i really hope it doesn't come to that, not because i don't want to give it to him, but because i'll juz be sad if he leaves. juz like i'll be sad if rempah leaves. or anyone lar, acherli. haiz. apaper lah eh. what kan i do, besides pray for the best..
what a sweet voice she has! jasmine, i mean. yu know what, i wanted to say alot more juz now, but i kinda forgot.. how sad. i really had alot to say.
ohyah. heard ex-fren talking in malay juz now. hilarious. in my initial words, it provided me with "pleasure". haha. i realised later tt i meant "amusement". hehe. and sya sed it was cos of our "legacy"! woohoo! our malay legacy! haha. i thot it sounded extremely cool, and anyway since i'm feeling friendlier towards him these days, it sounded great lar.
chatting with akil now.. so funny how we kan talk online but cld never talk face-to-face, 7 years ago.

i'm having the horriblest week of my life! fever on sunday AND monday, and now itz wednesday and i'm having a swollen mouth! or whatever those thingies in my mouth are. itz juz damn pissing, and now i kan't even swallow cos it hurts. which means i kan't eat cos it hurts. and therefore this.. disease has just taken away one of my favourite pastimes. weird things have been happening. amidst the horrible, i mean. for example, i juz got this msg from sum guy called darren. erm. do i know a darren? itz juz tt i'm skared if i ask "who r yu?" he'll get hurt or pissed or whatever. haha. the only darren i kan think of now is sya's mortal. and tt can't be right! well, any ideas, do tell.
also found out tt i kan't wap anymore. no idea why, but im too skared to ask my dad.
this morning i finally saw fariq again. haiz. since the info fana gave me on saturday, i feel veh offed abt it. which does not mean tt i dun think he's cute anymore. oh and my mortal missed the bus. kesiannye. yu shoulda seen me bisinging! sheesh.
lotsa hw to do, and no idea why i'm not, but.. well i think i juz need to give my throat sum rest. by sleeping. a vow of silence is kinda a tall order for me. i mean, then i wldn't be able to scream "OM!" etc. haha.
i like the way my cool plasters look. but i dun think i'll wear more tmr unless it really stings.
ain't nasi hot? haha. he was lining up behind me just now. heh heh. sorry, but he is.
i went home with hana just now after another excruciatingly painful meeting. i rem the first time i took 105 with her. i diden really know her tt well then, but now shez acherli a pms! and i have regular tuesday lunch with her and filza! so fun! and they always help me keep my sanity. i'm glad to be able to tell her stuff.. so i dun always have to write down everything here. since it cld potentially hurt. if we all spoke our minds, i'm pretty sure hearts would be breaking repeatedly everyday. every hour. every second. oh and that reminded me to go for my personal movie soon. like very soon. like extremely soon. i juz dunno where. acherli tampines wld be juz fine lar. i dun kare much anymore. who could i meet, besides primary skl friends rite?
speaking of that, i met akil on friendster! haha. i never thought i'd meet him again. apparently he's seen me in the train alot, with sum other gerls.. and he saw me wearing tk pinafore too.. hm i never noticed.. but ttz cos he looks how diff lar.. well.. i'll try to keep my eyes open next time. then i'll say hi instead.
i think i used to prefer being in skl to being at home. now, i'd rather be home. skl is almost as excruciatingly painful as just now's meeting. sorry, but i juz hate sitting round for too long. at least i home i kan baring2, watch vcds, or dance or sing, etc. ohyah speaking of which, i am going to geylang.. erm.. soon.. wanna get more tarian cds.. cos i juz realised tt if i sit around waiting for tarian to come to me, i'll never be satisfied. too little tarians in rj ah. i'm pretty sure shaf feels the same way too.
am i anti? sumtimes i feel tt i am, but i juz let myself be so. mostly cos i dun like being with ppl who make me feel rotten. cos i can pretty much succeed at tt by myself.

sheesh. every time i haf a long day, i haf lotsa things to write.. but i kan't wapblog cos when i haf a long day, i go back late, and tt means i go back with people, meaning tt as a person, i shdn't be anti and therefore not wapblog. sigh. meaning tt i'll always forget the finer points of my day. but i'll try my best now.
i am gonna give my mortal my sweater if he doesn't make it. but i hope he does. please, God.
tilani was in the train again!
tarian was cool. darn now pedas will prolly know his name. cos i call him sedap. haha. long story. but it involves righthandside. haha. hailah pedas, the way yu talk and act really freaks me out sometimes. itz like yu KNOW we think yu're pedas. btw he's now rempah. which means we kan acherli have him with nasi and lauk n air! hahahaha. we now also have actions for many ppl incl burger, batu, and even burger&batu, collectively! ohyah after tarian i was sitting at the top of the gate, enjoying the feeling, then i screamed, "OM, since yu dun love me, i'll jump!" and jumped. but my landing diden go as planned. the cat instincts kicked in and i landed on all fours [meaning i skinned my knees]. but tt means i get to wear cool plasters tmr!!!
i was cramming integrals for maths test at bamboo garden juz now when i heard a guy call, "ain!" and i turned, expecting sum ex-fren derivative, but it was fazly! so i screamed, and i was like, "itz youuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!" haha. he withdrew from cj sey.. i guess he really dussnt like it there.. wish he cld come to rj though. haiz. hm vj or ac.. but how the hell do you samakan the two? anyway hez like freaking tall, or mebbe i juz haven't seen him for a long time, and his hair and his eyes r soooo much browner than i remembered..! hailah batch of 1987. asal korang sumer lawar-lawar? well speaking of maths test [originally anyway], i did all the qns except 1b!!! congrats to ain. that is not boasting. cos my answers r prolly wrong. but hey! method marks works all the time. i thot latte looked pretty cute juz now. haha. but ttz juz me.
what an extremely exciting post-pe period. batu sitting down rite next to our bags, talking bout everything in her life. us spying on spy n her. if this keeps up... our malay could become really really excellent! haha. oohyah and whytee kept walking around! and bouncing ard! and lazing ard!! congrats to sya, hez extremely cute in an extremely interesting manner. and watching cj get euphoric over his 3-pointers was sooooooooooo cool! as in, i've never seen a guy so happy before. i swear, he really looked radiant etc to me.. and cikgu was being really nice today so filza got skared. haha. apeee je. i juz count my blessings.. and hope not to annoy her anymore.. but i always succeed in doing so, inevitably. sheesh.
[and tt marks the end! cos i started and ended with the same word! aah watever. or shd i say, "kya-ever!" "kyu?" you ask? haha. i dunno. ohyah i'm supposed to put my kembar pic here. jap eh.]

i'm so tired. i'm suffering a relapse, acherli. horrible. i'm all shivery AGAIN. how annoying. anyway i guess i shd sleep soon, i juz wanted to like, say some things.
number one. i scribbled a i'll-pray-for-you-to-stay-in-rj-since-yu-haf-9-points letter to my mortal, on the back of a photo order list.. and i went out and bought him a dove hazelnut chocolate bar and passed it to shafia. and guess what she told me? apparently he was saying tt if he diden stay, he wldn't be able to write to me, and i wldn't be able to write to him.. and shaf asked him if he'd miss me, and he sed YES!!! i almost fell over the railing when i heard tt! hehe. yah ttz like so sweet. or so i think. well i guess i kan't help being nice to him.. hez so easy to be nice to.. like alot of ppl are now, acherli.. itz juz tt i'm in the perfect position to be nice to him. too bad i'm such an ass to my other mortal. but like.. wow.. i'd haf thot ppl like him wldn't be so into this angel-mortal thingy, and tt he'd juz stop writing.. haha. guess i was wrong! [i wld smile now, but i'm juz feeling too ill. bye bye, maths test.]
and number two, i was in the train home with filza juz now, and we met shaffique!!! he got in at like outram park or tanjong pagar or smthg, and we kept on staring at each other, then finally i remembered his name, and we xchanged basic news.. while i stared at his bag and his friend's soopa-off hair, and filza stared at his apparently-lovely eyes. haha. i think he looks really good now, and itz so cool tt he rems me! hm forgot to ask if he still keeps in touch with ahmad.. ohwellz..
alrite ttz all i kan muster up the energy for. cya.

Tech Support: Yes, Ma'am.... how can I help you?

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love. Can you guide me through the process?

Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready. What do I do first?

Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart, ma'am?

Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?

Tech Support: What programs are running, ma'am?

Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now.

Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off, ma'am?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support : With pleasure. Go to your start menu and evoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error - Program not run on external components ." What should I do?

Tech Support: Don't worry, ma'am. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non- technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.

Customer: So, what should I do?

Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.

Customer: Okay, done.

Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.

Customer: Thank you!

Ya ya ya, i shd b doing maths now but i'm juz so malas! Oh itz d 12pm bell. Neway, yest i reached wrl n got a fever, so din do anything at all. Met 'faezah' at bk. He lives in woodlands! Oh n tilan iz acherli tilani. Haha. He was in d train again. Ohno adzfar juz told me his appeal din get thru! Tt really sux! Shit sia. N now i'm sad again. (But congrats, hana n rajiv!)

Today's been such a weird mixture of shitty n great. I think i juz saw the 2nd hottest guy of my life. He was bandanged, n wearg a red jersey. Vik, i think. Soopa tall. Mebbe potential j1. Letz pray 4 him. Haha. Righthandside luks so adorable in tt! Hez eternally adorable larh. Oh n letz all together pray for my mortal to stay! Well bak to cip.

Hailah OM, even d smallest encounter kan freeze me liddat. N bfg iz an excellent indicator! D lunch was great, had lotsa fun. Forgot lotsa stuff. Met ili's mom at bishan tadi. Haha. N i lyke my buddy's pres, hope he/she lykes it too. Gonna slp now, tata! =D

Waitg for extra chem to start. This whole friend revolutn iz throwg me off. N to think it all stems mostly frm batu. But i dun lyke to ponder y they acherli lyke her, cos i think itz completely useless. I'm so sleepy. Ran 2 rounds n did lotsa leg presses. Ow. Isn't it cute tt our class iz being fitness freaks? Haha. Ok. I juz want to say again tt OM rox. N happy anniversary to ili n fidodido!

Yeah! Tilan was in d train again today! He has such cute funny big eyes. I feel so damn disoriented. Everything's diff today. Aiya i thot results anxiety ended for me laz yr.. I guess i was wrong. Still rem laz yr.. I miss bishan lotz.

D int was how freakin empty. Not tt late wat! I think tt was d best drama prac ever. Haha. I went off all happy n bouncy n stuff. Oh new developmt. Fariq was TOLD tt an rj gerl lykes him. So. Yah. Well wat else iz new.. Need to give rajiv a name. N filza n i were talkg abt our gullibility to solid's persuasive powers. Haha. Think abt it.

Hey babes. In bk now, n guess wat? Power 98 played 'here without u', 'frm F, going out to my loved one, norain, n all hu noe me.' I heard tt. I swear! Neway chem sucked, will fail horribly. Ooh n guess wat? Dis morng at bv i stood up n fariq n i looked at each other, n we SMILED! Who else tak caya? -raises hand- Cuden stop smilg aft tt.. =D

wow now tt i'm using wap, i won't be blogging in big chunks! another plus for wapblogger. neway, i really dunno wat to say. ohyah. skl is a drag, innit? i'm juz dying now. i never used to hate skl. ok, mebbe sumtimes, but that was like, once or twice a year, not once or twice a day! so. yah. i dunno. arh whateverlah. tmr's a 2-hr bio break, will do more studying then. tonite will be my tv nite. ok acherli the only tv thing abt it iz charmed, but i hardly watch tv these days so itz counted.
wat do i get for my buddy? since itz a sexless person at the moment.. hmmm.. well i'll sleep on it.
i was washing my face, and i remembered this song.
smile though your heart is aching, smile, even though itz breaking. when there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by, if you smile through your fear and sorrow. smile, and maybe tomorrow you'll see the sun come shining thru for you. light up yur face with gladness, hide every trace of sadness, altho a tear may be ever so near.. thatz the time you muz keep on trying. smile, what's the use of crying? you'll find that life is still worthwhile if you'll juz smile..
well, nat king cole, i dunno. i smile and smile and laugh and laugh. so loud, others laugh too. but life still doesn't seem so worthwhile. and i always thought of crying as a way to let go of the tension inside. i dunno. maybe i'll try that smile thing again. or maybe it only works for you.

Yargh. I'm totally abusg this thing! Kan't wait to get home, itz been a long n pissy day. Haha. I think i'm on my way to bcomg a cradle-snatcher! Itz almost skary. Aah my new fav song iz playg. Ohyah im a team leader! Wah responsibility! Oklah bak to stong. =S

In bk now. I still have alkenes, half of alcohols, halogenoarenes n carbonyl left. Sigh. Library was full of ppl mugging chem juz now. I feel intimidated. We saw red kembar juz now! Hehe. Cute. Itz another of those rotten days. But i feel abit better now. Kan't wait to get home. Oh class 95 iz now my new fav statn. Haha. The songs r nice, lively or jiwang. Not horrible ear-killg rock. Tmr i'm ponning econs lec. I'll come here n do maths n econs tys. Well, wish me luck for chem tmr! Oops gtg. Bye.

My eyes kan't open! Itz been a shitty day thus far. Thank god for ili. Shez so cute! Oops bell.. Cya.

Went home w the night tarianers. In train now. We haf 2 new nicknames, pedas n mdp.. Haha. Pedas really lives up to his name. But dun worry, i dun like him. Pedas totally warned me outright against nasi. Sigh. Now i feel guilty for likg nasi. Well, let us then change no 1 to my mortal! Ok reachg pasir ris. Bye!

In ? gallery durg math lec. Bell juz rang. Will go bak in now. Thanx, wap-enabled fone!

i'm sorry i'm sorry.. why am i still blogging here when i haf lots to do? i dunnooooooo!!! i juz am! i kan't stop! there was smthg i wanted to say, but i forgot already. anyway i juz diden wanna tear myself away from the comp for sum reason.. so i like, explored all my folders and stuff.. and there was one particular folder tt really made me laugh.. it was all the minis.. the mini-mc, the mini-menu, the mini-nutritionlabel, etc.. i was totally dying at the double mini white slips..! but i think the funniest was definitely the mini-article, with the headline screaming "TWICE THE JOY FOR NATIONAL PLAYER". haha. i was juz laughing infront of the comp lyke nobody's business.. i mean, itz not even a year after all these crap, and i'm already laughing abt it.. it kinda shows how stupid and silly i really am, and i know it, but i juz kan't seem to change!!!
ohyah. had 2-in-a-row dreams about OM. on friday nite i dreamt tt OM was passing by and my mom caught me staring at him, and correctly concluded tt i liked him, and told me to go after him/tell him. on saturday night i dreamt that ili n i were walking to the surau, and 2 people were already there. juz those 2 ppl ah. and i froze in my steps, cos those 2 ppl were like, OM and BFG. they were basically praying at the surau. like, waddehell? firstly, tt isn't my first surau dream. secondly, neither OM nor BFG is muslim. juz a couple of objections to my dreams, ttz all.
juz now the cute acs boy was sitting at the next table.. his voice is so.. cute! and he's really funny.. i wanted to like, laugh at sum of his comments, but i kinda had to shut up cos i was, well, alone. and no one likes a crazy laughing freak. "you chief muggeress ah!" hehe. i wasn't aware tt "mugger" was a male noun.
goodnight. for the last time tonite, i hope.

why is it i can't feel the pain?
are we meant to share it?
if i told you it didn't hurt, would you hate me for it?
if i told you i could still smile easily, would you hate me for it?
how is it i knew, but it didn't affect me?
why am i not scared?
why am i not sad?
why am i not shaken?
is that what i should be feeling?
can i still laugh?
cos i already have.
can i still think happy thoughts?
cos i can't stop them coming.
will you forgive me this ignorance?
or will you hate me for it?
and if you could just tell me it's okay not to feel.

FIRDAUS: Laila.. Kau percaya tak dalam cinta pandang pertama?
LAILA: (thinks for awhile then meets his eyes) Ya.. Cinta yang mengharungi segala rintangan..
FIRDAUS: Cinta yang tidak mengambil kira darjat, umur dan bangsa..
LAILA: Cinta yang ikhlas dan sejati..
FIRDAUS: Bukan mudah ditemui--
LAILA: --tapi hanya hati yang mengetahui..

harloez. arman was sitting right infront of me in the train juz now! woohoo! [ok ttz cos i was the one who sat infront of him. but still. he almost never enters tt carriage.] and sya sez he's "universally cute", meaning i won't have any argument as to whether hez cute or not. woohoo!
oh and i was bored tadi, so i checked out the Rafflesians Alumni Hari Raya Gathering 2003 cd.. and guess whose photo is featured inside?!?!?!? guess!!!!!!!! itz............................ ME!!!!! haha. aaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnndddddd... righthandside! and he looks extremely good-looking in it.. hez smiling, but somehow, he looks mature and not kiddy.. wow. really lawar. ask me for it online anytime.

heyheyheyheyhey!!!!!!!!!!!! i am acherli exuberant! on a sunday night! hahahahahaha. i wanted to blog yest, but i think i was too spent.
ANYWAY. hehehehe. sorry. itz been a pretty great weekend, i think. i got to wake up soopa late on saturday.. went to fun-o-rama.. i dun think it was as fun as the last one. but i got to fulfil both my reasons for going.
reason #1: to finish the coupons. we got a 15-dollar girl-power wood thingy, 2 root beers, a chocolate waffle, 2 gerberas and we had one buck left which we juz donated. haha.
reason #2: to check out the crowd, esp the viks. woohoo! erm letz see.. first up was like, my MORTAL!!! wheehoo!!! he was at the root beer stall infront of us.. and he kept turning to look at us, then finally he asked if we were from rj. wowz. he rems our faces?!?!?! excellent! then i think i started wondering where nasi was, and whether he left already, then he suddenly popped up! he was with 2 gerls, and he looked kinda out of place at times [cos we were like tailing him for abt 10 minutes. haha.].. well saw him 3 more times after tt.. lovely.. thenn.. oh saw khairul.. haha.. and.. ooh i saw anushka, and aizat, and suff, and aidil, and whoever elses ah.. and at the dunking place there was this helluva handsome vik.. he was wearing a red acjc tshirt and laughing alot.. with the customary earring, of cos.. haha. tall.. not tt dark.. veh veh handsome! i was dying. we saw a righthandside-cute kinda guy. hehe. nice.. and there was this annoyingly un-cute and heeuugge vik on the dunking platform.. i kan't really forget his face in a hurry, so i juz had to mention him. ohyah and we met yazid and aisyah as we were walking out.. i was like, "heyheyhey!" to yazid, then i saw aisyah, and i was like "heyheyhey!" to her.. haha. and thennnn... we juz walked out the gate ah, and i juz looked casually across the road, and i spotted this vik, and i saw tt he was with another guy, and tt they were both wearing jj uniform.. so i was thinking, "hey jj!" and the other guy kinda looked familiar, so i sed to sya, "sya, am i dreaming or is tt fariq?" and sya looked where i was looking and sed, "no, i dun think you're dreaming, ain.." and i juz died. and we kinda hovered around tt spot until they crossed the road.. and i juz couldn't stop staring at him!!! and it was only after he passed us that he started grinning and then he told the vik smthg and the vik turned to look at us too.
so yes tt was the best part of my saturday in a nutshell. TODAY i went to do hw at woodlands library with fana. we were juz hanging out at the children's floor, hoping we'd meet ppl we know.. [oh btw fana gave me the greatest present of my life too! woohoo!] neway.. we met decaf and caf there.. haha. so funny. they were juz touring the library.. out of boredom or smthg, i suppose. decaf looked extremely good, judging by the amount of fana's drool. they made one round of the children's floor, so they passed us, and i waved at caf, and asked, "what are yu doing here?" twice.. and decaf [!] answered, "studying.." and i was juz like "!!!" decaf knows me? how nice! haha.. yeah, duh he knows me, prolly as the-girl-who-likes-OM. anyway yeah they were acherli studying at the cafe downstairs. how nice.. they were the last people i expected to see there..
ohyah and today i found out tt OM lives in a condo in boon lay. wow. i am so gonna make jurong point my new hangout. haha. information courtesy of aidil, btw..
okay i think this entry has become too long. byez.

oohyah!!!!!!!!! forgot to comment on rajiv! okay.. he's fair. he's average height. he's handsome! hez extremely cool! hez such an amazingly nice guy!
ttz in chronological order of my thots as he walked into the hall with hana. the thing tt really hit me was that he acherli repeated our names!!!!!!!!!!!!!! warhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! ttz like so nice! you go, hana! i'm with yu all the way!

ohmigod! itz fate! it has to be! i mean, i almost skipped that train to wait for righthandside. i almost walked to the front end, juz out of habit, but i happened to be talking to qt. and somehow 4 adjacent seats decided to vacate themselves rite there in the green section. and i juz happened to look to my left and see his incredibly pleasant-looking face. we almost diden go to mac's. and lotsa almosts, and couldhaves.. but in the end, the little movements of the universe conspired to let me see fariq again tonite. okay not tonight. laz night ah. haha. watever. i almost died when i saw him. i think i gasped and stared, and ohmigodded. and that made him turn n look at me.. so i [really obviously] shifted my attn elsewhere. and he was juz being so cute! he kept on smiling to himself. den the corner seat was vacated so he like, hopped sideways and settled there.. and then he went to sleep and terlajaked bedok. he woke up, his eyes went *boing* and he slapped his forehead and smiled to himself summore. i felt horrible. like i was responsible for him terlajaking, cos i was supposed to wake him up rite. oh shit n i juz realised! there were no more trains out from pasir ris at tt time! he prolly had to cab home! shit, now i really feel horrible. sorry fariq, i think i was juz too paralysed by the fact tt i was seeing you in the train AGAIN at like 1130pm. so yah. i will apologise when fana finally introduces us, as she has promised to.
righthandside is sooooooooooooooo hebat! as in, how can one person look both mature AND childishly adorable? well righthandside has it down to a tee. and sya figured out the mystery. when he doesn't smile, he looks extremely mature. when he smiles, he looks like a kid! a 12 yr old, at most! his eyes crinkle up and his white rabbit teeth terkeluar and his face lights up somehow and it juz looks SO. CUTE.
nasi was there too. with lauk and.. and.. air too. air is basically the other guy who doesn't haf a name. nasi is still hot!
no sign of OM. hah gi mampoz dgn kau. tadi aku kena terserempak dua kali sey.. same location summore.. trapped summore. sheesh.
pe was extremely diff today. i dun seem to be recovering from my flu [in fact, i kan feel my throat acting up again now. muz be the 3 hr long aircon tadie.], so i was in the weights room doing assisted pull ups and leg presses. and then righthandside's crew walked past and made comments. hehe. best actor is so cute.
oh speaking of best actor, i think jireh rocks! hez so damn funny! i wanted to juz die there, he was juz hilarious. and my fav filler item was the genre change thingies.. the action thriller was the funniest sia! i was seriously roaring with laffter there.. so totally unlike laz yrz non-entertainment. and as for the plays themselves, i guess i'm really not one for complicated storylines. deep deep stuff juz isn't my thing. so for me, life is but a dream was really a nightmare i was dying to get out of. itz like, i dun see the real purpose, ttz all. as in, there wasn't really any impact for me. med's one seemed kwite characteristic of med, i guess. i liked it, cos there were basically like 2 scene changes, which really helped keep our attn.. i think itz really smart to use the shrink as the central focus.. makes the whole thing easier to tell.. i'm really sorry i missed arts.. heard the laffter frm outside.. ohwell. too bad. cps' one.. haiya y does it hafta be abt pw? i thot pw left me a long time ago, and i was happy thinking that.. i think the king is cool tho.. haha. i dun think batu is cool. oh i think theresa was cool.. hehe. altho i agree with her tt the character was totally un-her.
have i covered everything? i'm really sleepy. ohyah. my heart was broken like pagipagi buter.. when i saw arman hanging out at pasir ris mert steps with the stupid tk gerls. *tinkletinkletinkle* oh those r the pieces of my broken heart, falling to the tiled floor of my room. *clickclickclick* oh thatz the abovementioned pieces piecing themselves back after seeing fariq! at close to midnite! how cinderella-like! woohoo! fariq roqs! hahah. shit tt looks ugly. fariq rox!
ooh guess what. i got home at like 1220 midnite juz now. itz like 135am now. anyway, basically, i got home after my sister! wowee! on a friday nite! milestone in both our lives man! take note of the date: 21 feb 2004--ain gets home hours after ida has fallen asleep..
God i'm crapping. nites!

heyya. i'm not fully recovered yet, i do hope that udu doesn't make me run 20 rounds or smthg. i juz realised i haven't had udu pe for more than one week. sure die sia.
dunno why but i thot today was gonna be a shitty day. but i still got to see arman, and the jj guy.. and i even found out the jj guy's name! itz fariq. heheh. it was written on his file. ms. sharp-eyes here caught it, of cos. haha. OM was on the bus this morning, and ili, upon realising that he was the one i like, started giggling. i suppose she doesn't approve. haha. and i lied through my teeth to thea when i sed i was juz liking nasi from afar. i was also busy watching burger interact with kambing. hahaha. hey, that looks funny! burger kambing! haha. anyway, yah. dun worry ppl, like i sed, itz a strictly NON-LOVE attraction. ooh speaking of love, tmr rajiv is coming rite? i'm so excited and happy for hana. hehehe. i hope he drops by rj too..
saw lotsa lotsa nasi today. i was listening to oh my darling in the library, and about to leave, when he came in. [with lauk and the other guy, no less.] so of cos i stayed rooted to my seat and refused to move until he left, which was like 15 mins later or so. hez so... takder kerja, literally! he was just lying there listening to his mp3 player.. with his back facing me [so i cld look at him without interruption].. i dunno what he was doing there also. but i'm glad he was. then later we were going out of skl and i saw him again! woohoo! hot hot hot! the thing is, i see alot more of lauk than him. sheesh. yuck. and amir is so damn obvious lar. juz now munz and i were slacking in class after econs to wait for a kembar, but unfortunately the rest of his class came already, so we had to leave. then when we were walking out we saw him, and amir was like shouting, "ain!" and pointing to him. was tt a suspicious look i caught on lauk's face? shit! and to make matters worse, i left my impostor waterbottle in klass lar! stupid shit. itz like every wed, i'll inevitably leave smthg in class--sweater, waterbottle, or both. 3 weeks in a row already. i wonder whatz the problem. i guess i'm juz too eager to go home.
oooh! and i was juz walking to my block juz now, and i heard skateboard sounds, so i was like, "ooh, skaters!" and turned to look. well, it was singular--skateR. and he was chinese, so i was like, "haiyaa.." then i saw his tshirt and i was like woohoo! cos hez like, the permanent boyfriend i've been seeing since i was in sec 3 or 4! and i somehow stopped seeing him around, but now i'm seeing him ard again! and he'z a skater, ttz like how cool! think it'll go amiss if i start studying at the tables kat bawah block again? but itz like, one metre away from where he skates. i guess it'll look weird. darn!
my hot pink hairband broke!!! how tragic sia! i'm really sad! now i haf to go to montip and get another one! for the time being, i'm gonna use this glittery transparent pink one i juz got at bishan juz now. but the glitter kind of comes off on my neck. haha. itz okay, i suppose it'll look alluring to nasi and others. wahahah. oh God i'm crapping. bye.
and no, i won't be doing any homework today.
Tiada ku sangka bola-bola api
Yang sedulunya kecil telah menjadi besar
Begitulah jua harapan padamu
Yang sedulunya kecil telah menjadi besar

Biar saja aku jadi penggantinya di sisimu
Kau yang cantik, sopan santunmu paling comel di hatiku

Ku tahu kau diluka oleh teman lama

Oh pertama kali aku mengenalmu
Kau selalu tersenyum, tersenyum padaku
Dan seperti jua bola-bola api
Makin semarak cinta, cintaku padamu

Boleh saja kau jadilah penggantinya di sisiku
Kau yang baik, sopan santunmu paling comel di hatiku

this morning arman acherli sat in my carriage! so lawarrr.. he was like smiling to himself, like a secret smile.. so kiut! i was positively melting there. and filza diden come to the locker in time this morning, so i was juz inspired to bite the bullet and juz give the pres to burger b4/after assembly. well i was lucky, it seemed, cos he was standing detached from the rest, juz watching their conversation, and they weren't paying any attn to him. so i just went up and sed smthg like, "yo, this is from me and baba.." and hulurkaned the present. and he stared at me and sed, "oh.. thanks.." and i sed bye and left in a hurry. haha. itz okay, he woke up from his daze after assembly and came round to thank me. so yes, if yu're reading this, baba, he seems extremely grateful n surprised for the pressie.
saw much less of nasi today than i wld haf wanted to. haha. i unknowingly injured poor amir when i punched his leg when nasi strolled past chem tutorial. well. he was looking hot as usual. whatz a girl to do?
does it sound like i had a great day? well acherli no. it got progressively worse. i'd say the highest point was arman, then it all went slowly downhill frm there. anyway. yah. i was struck with flu germs during gp. horrible sia. i think i'm gonna skip hw tonite so i kan eat ubat n go to sleep.
ohyah. the script sounds extremely off. but ttz juz cos of the difference in language lar.

If it were only possible for me to catch this wind
that blows my hair every which way
that carries these sheets of paper for miles about
that masquerades as a breeze
that dissipates the heat
breaks the day's monotony
I would.
If I could just catch this wind
Put it in a box, a locket, a baby's sock
Take it out whenever I wanted
Let it sing to me
Put it back again
I would.
And this moment will always remind me of me, forever.

~

i asked, "issit possible to like an ass?"
she replied a resounding yes.
i remember liking one a year ago.
the process of stopping was freakin' slow.
could it be you remind me of him?
that you're not true like, you're just a whim?
or behind that, is there something i see?
something real, like it's meant to be?

i had like a billion dreams last night. and i forgot most of them, as usual. but 2 of them sorta stick out in my mind. cos one was shitty, and one was damn nice.
the shitty one was about OM. i was in the middle of a group of people, and he was one of them. and i kept on staring at him for sum unknown reason. i was talking to sum ppl then.. and then i talked really loudly about how shitty sum guys are, how they ignore yu n stuff liddat. then i walked away ah. but i sengaje banged into him first. and he got mad and said, "what's yur problem? if you're angry just say so lah! no need to do all this!" yah so i like, shoved him and started insulting him and stuff.
eeps. wat a violent dream.

yest the PsMS went to anatolia [again] to check out "faezah" [except for dean, of cos] and eat. then we went to borders, where sum really kool books were discovered. then we went to orchard mrt, downstairs, and met the [current] birthday boy. haha. funny, the way things work.
today we went to east coast. ain the great spotted amir! woohoo! and there were little st. pat's boys, but i must have missed arman. had a deelish brunch at komala's. heheh. OM powerr! then kiter duduk kat breakwater, tanning, taking glamour shots, and checking out the 50 eligible bachelors 2004. we are all in love with haizad! then we taxied to eunos and i went to bugis with azlif. so many beeyootiful things to buy! but where is the money to buy them? miq was okay. i suppose it cld have been worse yah? at least the reason i decided to go came. hahaha. if anyone understands tt statement, congrats. ooh haha i also met harun there. he looks cool with celak! haha. and azlif, i know yu like him. no need to hide it from me. the boringest speeches of my life followed. i wrote 3.5 stanzas, each for diff guys.
after the quiz i went to orchard, changed, went to surau [prayed and pakaied mascara n eyeliner n gloss], went to borders [read a couple of chapters of the five people you meet in heaven, bought my bellydancing book while drooling over this extremely nice and not bad-looking vik cashier], went to starbucks [spied really convincingly], sat at the bus stop drinking my rhumba frappucino, and went to dhoby ghaut.
the class dinner? haha. after traipsing round ps fruitlessly, we finally went to eat at ljs macdonald hse. i'm still surprised tt amir was looking at me when i got josh's gift. haha. well. sorry. there was prolly a leetle beet of hurt involved. okay then we went home.
i dunno why i was so bloody ambivalent today. i juz was. i was getting really pissed at myself for being so pissy, but it diden help any.
juz thinking abt what happened LAST vday. i rem there was drama, cos i rem going to bk holland v after tt with azi and sya/nurie, can't rem. and met rach there. and aimee too, i think. and i was feeling completely rotten then. well at least THIS year, there were sum positive feelings involved yah?
okay my stanzas. here goes.
ucapan buat seorang lelaki:
wangi-wangian syurga yang sejati
selamat hari kekasih dan hari jadi
diharap dikau saling diberkati.

kepada jejaka di sudut hujung
kecomelanmu bagaikan anak kampung
kau membuat perasaanku melambung
senyumanmu kan selalu ku sanjung.

aku mempunyai seorang friend yang happy
dia berasal dari _jc
hidungnya kelakar, rambutnya curly
badannya besar, bermain rugby.

his name is nasi
he's freakin' hot
he's fantastic
i like him alot.

okay lame poem. and not entirely true. anyway i really have like 5 mins only, but i juz wanted to blog. all i haf to say is, i have a heeeuuuuggee crush that i wish wld juz go away! and also wanted to say how best actor is like, the best in the world. he rawks. he brings mikh to life like i never imagined. lovely. it was pure pleasure watching them act. all the way, mikh n laila!

ooh how cld i forget, we happened to step into hmv juz now, and i juz cldn't resist, i bought what women want and you've got mail for a grand total of 15 bucks. woohoo. kan't wait to rewatch them.

hey babes. i'm feeling so satisfied today. i guess i really needed the skl detox. all the non-OM interactions, the v-day/frenshipwk/TDD fever.. yah. so i ponned today, slept in, but ppl juz kept kalling. first ilham.. den ms wong.. and i acherli had sum sniffle thingy going on.. haha. so i woke up at 9, hung out, ate, went back to sleep at 10, woke up again at 11, went unconscious till 1145. so yah it was nice, 'cept i was still kinda blur n sleepy.. i was even sleeping in the train..
i was a tk gerl today.. i love being a tk gerl. itz nice.. heheh. i feel so girly in the uniform.. AAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDD.. i was at wisma with fana n diana and we saw nasi!!! woohoo! woohoo! woohoo! i mean, i was juz thinking of him.. and rationalising tt i wldn't get to c him today cos he'd be in skl, but nooooo.. he was there, shuttling back n forth between bits 'n' pieces and the wall infront of the toilets.. wow.. hez like so hot! and i juz kept pinching fana.. haha. that was hilarious. but anyway, fana initially thot he was really really lawar.. but i warned her tt sya doesn't agree tt hez hot, and sure enuff, when we passed him again later, fana decided hez not tt great after all. takper. tt means there's more nasi to go around. hah.
i smell of j.lo's new scent. still or sum other forgettable word. but nice scent. i lyke it. so fresh n lively. oh i met denise! denise pj.. hehe.. nice to c her again, she still looks the same.. too bad she won't be coming on friday.. oh and then fana n i went to eat at jon's salon, and guess who else was eating there? taufik! not that i acherli kare, or tt itz so crucial to my life or anything. i think he juz booked out or smthg. sum white shirt and navy bloo pants.. he is, of cos, botak.. haha. and he used to haf so much hair. anyway, he n his frens were like staring at me and discussing which skl i was frm. haha. u noe, the tk pinafore. apeee je. as in, he was the only one there i recognised. we haven't even talked before. so why wld he, or any of the rest, kare where i was frm? well yah. meybe they were bored. so i decided to clear all doubts and i put on my rj sweater. there. no more arguing.
ohyah i bought my mortal's vday pres already. and the box for burger's perfume. cuma i think i'm gonna chicken out for the latter. how m i supposed to give it to him?

i need a break. like a long long loooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnggggg vacation. from life. or from THIS life, anyway. i was helplessly moodswinging just now. more in the negative sector, for sum unknown reason. asal ah? issit OM? or sklwork? or artsfeste? or maybe it was the cramps. the pain was seriously killing me. so i decided to distract myself from the pain with a mcspicy double MEAL *AND* an icecream waffle cone. arrrggh. i am psycho. ohyah. figured out another reason. v-day. haha.
_{sorry itz juz like everyone was writing on hearts to each other and seeing the one from batu diden help, plus like they asked me to write one and i realised i diden have anyone to write to so like it juz hurt.} yah.

well on to positive stuffs. i saw the jj guy today! he was even cuter cos his hair was all fluffy cos he diden comb it today. heheh. sho cute. kept on staring at him, except when i was sleeping.
aaaaand... i juz realised tt i haf a happy non-fren! hez called............ NASI! woohoo! okay i know hez like a genuine bad boy and all, but hez juz freakin' hot! and the best part is, he doesn't know i like him! hah! and the second best part is, i have like 80% of his name on my person! double hah!
i am obviously completely unhinged. tata.

darn. the stupid belly dance class is conducted in mandarin/english. i know i already promised myself, but it looks like i gotta back out after all. there is NO WAY IN HELL i am going to sign up for a dance class which is half-conducted in mandarin, ALONE, and also miss the first lesson. so yah. i'll get the hair dye tmr or something, and dye my hair instead.
skl is such a drag these days. really. i used to acherli LIKE skl. cos of OM, and the like. but since OM started ignoring me [no thanks to ex-fren], life's been tt much more painful. and the j1 draws juz aren't beeg enuff draws lar. plus all the politics tt are circling me.. and yah. ohyes. non-fren has a goatee!?!?! nice! so mature! hehe.
the first list of this year [other than 1. OM] is as follows:
1. nasi
2. one-side
3. kembar: red specs is cuter
4. mun yuk's bag
5. the short ac guy

ooh speaking of short guys, juz now at pasir ris mrt, i was with azlif, and we saw arman!!! woohoo! hez in st. pat's, btw. heh. he looks blardeefreakin' cute ah! -dies- and she agrees, which obviously means he's cute. heh. yay.
oh and tmr i get to wear my pink slippers and see the jj guy again, kan't wait. hm. ohyes. i lurve yu, fellow PerempuanS Melayu Sejati!!!!
-dean-

gpa eve. lovelylovelylovelylovelylovelylovely.

go away. i bite.

there's so many other things i hafta do. but i'm gonna have sum sorta internal explosion if i dun do this first. itz been such a fucking long week. no, make tt a fucking long 2004-so-far. and itz been raining outside and inside. and.. i dunno. everything's been going wrong. itz like i'm living in Murphy's world. haha. sorry. tt sounds dumb.
the drama has been killing me. really. itz emotionally, physically and mentally draining. i believe i'll be getting dvt in my ass within the month. so watch out for my death. sometimes most times, like today, i wish i'd never opened my big fat trap tt calls itself a mouth and shared my take on cinderella. then i wldn't be writing the script. and i wouldn't have to make the eternal revisions to it. hell, i wouldn't even call it a script lar. i suck ass. why do people still make me write it? i used to want to write a book. but now. ha. forget it sua.
once again, and correct me if i'm wrong, but there really is nothing wrong with liking someone. really. was having bus therapy just now [which diden really help much cos i'm juz too far gone], and i thought of something new to call myself. i'm the universal suaning subject. yu know, sya's fren, ex-fren, now OM. how lovely. speaking of whom, everyone shd check out the doodles on my script copy.. haha in an attempt to keep my sanity. whatever shreds of it tt i still have, that is. yah but basically the point i'm trying to make here is tt itz not wrong to like someone and tt only ri bastard-shites make a big deal out of it. juz a thot.
i'm gonna learn something new in a couple of weeks! can't wait man.
i hate bringing my bad mood home. but the thing is, i kan't NOT bring it home, cos i'm a kontrolledbymyemotions person. so. yah. then when i bring my bad mood home, my mom somehow notices and--no, she doesn't COMFORT/CONSOLE/HEAR ME OUT--she SINDIRS me abt it!!!!!!! so yah. tt just makes me even worse. and basically yah. right now the bad mood still prevails, and, if poss, itz bloody worse than ever. i know a great invention tt will make millions from me alone. an inflatable being with an LCD face and reverse speakers. the inflatable part means tt it will take the form of a person, or dog or cat or whatever. the LCD face means tt it will assume the face of the being we wld like to, er, communicate with. and the reverse speakers allow us to -ahem- communicate with the being, cos we just communicate our feelings into those speakers. they basically act as the ears. anyway, yah. then we just shout and scream and rant and, as an added bonus, we get to punchkickbeatmutilatestrangledisfigure abovementioned being. yah so. i'm sure it'll be a great source of help to my emotion-controlled self. dispels bad moods quickly, and all.
well. i think tt shd be all. cya.

i am so tired. and down. so i'll make this short. hari raya haji. ate tons. alternated eating and sticking my eyeballs to the comp screen. but i finished the script. with 15 minutes to spare before midnight. haha. sorry. i juz find the midnight deadline amusing. well, whoever wants to check out my script--here..